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The Substitute (1996) Poster

Quotes

Shale: Did you ever look up the word "mercenary"? It's someone who "works merely for money."

Joey: Everybody works for money.

Shale: It's not the money that bothers me; it's the "merely."

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[Shale confronts Juan Lacas and his cronies in the library]

Shale: Ohh, I can't tell you boys how much I needed this.

Juan Lacas: When we're done, I want you to say 'I'm Sorry' 100 times.

Shale: Shh. No talking in the library.

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Shale: I'm in charge of this class. I'm the warrior chief. I'm the merciless god of anything that stirs in my universe. You fuck with me, and you will suffer my wrath.

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Principal Claude Rolle: Two of your students are in the nurse's office talking a lawsuit right now.

Shale: Why, is the nurse a lawyer?

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Shale: Who died?

Student: You did.

Shale: Guess I am a little late.

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Principal Claude Rolle: Power perceived is power achieved.

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[Claude Rolle tells Shale about how the drugs are shipped to the school via bus]

Shale: And they said busing would never work.

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Shale: [Hollan fires near Shale to keep him from using his martial arts against the thug drug dealer] You fucking psycho!

Hollan: [Hollan shoots drug dealer dead behind Shale, and hands gun to Shale] Who's the fuckin' psycho?

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Rodriguez: Move that briefcase, I wanna see that beautiful ass.

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[last lines]

Joey: It's definitely time to relocate.

Shale: Yeah.

Joey: It's too bad we had to fuck up the school. I feel bad for the kids tomorrow, man.

Shale: They'll be okay. At least it's their school again.

Joey: Yeah. Where the hell we gonna go, man?

Shale: Uh, how's L.A. sound?

Joey: More bomb threats.

Shale: I heard the schools out there have a major drug problem.

Joey: No! Ah, no, no more schools, man. Forget it.

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Mr. Darrell Sherman: Rolle was a cop. He knows the law.

Hannah Dillon: Yeah, that's right Darrell, you keep the faith.

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Hollan: Cuba wimped you out. You lost your mind and now you lost your balls.

Shale: [grabs Hollan by his crotch] Maybe I'll just borrow yours, on second thought they're too small.

Hollan: [about to walk away] FUCK YOU. Fucking queers.

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Shale: I'd like to know what area of history you're studying.

Student: The fuck you history!

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Jerome Brown: Mr. Smith, you lost any homeboys?

Shale: Yeah Jerome, I lost a few homeboys.

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Shale: I'm sorry about those windows.

Hannah Dillon: Hey, fuck it.

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Shale: Tilt those little puppies over here, baby.

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Principal Claude Rolle: You don't teach history anymore Smith. You ARE history!

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Rem: Snipa on palm tree

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Wellman: Snipa on palm tree

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Hollan: Shale, I got four dead cowboys here, and one very fucked-up looking Indian Johnny Glades. Can I put him out of his misery pretty-please?

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Mr. Darrell Sherman: You're sellin' out your own people, motherfucker!

Principal Claude Rolle: Sell out? You know what I see when I look at you, Darrell? I see me. I see me when I was young and stupid. Young man, I'm just doing you a favor.

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Shale: You don't want soldiers, you want killers.

Matt Wolfson: You know, you'll have to excuse me here Shale, 'cause I wasn't aware there was that much of a difference.

Shale: Oh, there's a difference. You wanna know what the difference is?

Matt Wolfson: Yeah, I'll play. You tell me what the difference is. But I don't want any...

Shale: [pins him to the wall] The difference is... the difference is, you're still breathing.

Shale: [about bowel sounds] Hey, that cereal really does work.

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Rodriguez: Motherfucker, you broken my finger!

Shale: I don't break 'em on the first offense.

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Mr. Darrell Sherman: So is this a personal mission, or a joint operation between the CIA and the PTA?

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Mr. Darrell Sherman: You're a liar!

Principal Claude Rolle: [calmly] I know. It upset me too.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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