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Shepphird's Snowboard Academy pays homage to early Stanley Kubrick films, such as Killer's Kiss, Paths of Glory and Ski Patrol. This time out, the stellar cast includes Joe Flaherty, Corey Haim, and Jim Varney (showing his range by NOT playing Ernest in this film). The sexual undertones are rampant, from Haim's coy galnces at anything in a skirt to Varney's poem, "I once knew a woman from Russia, whose butt was so big it could crush ya." Haim is refreshing to see here, fresh from whatever eighties movie he made before this one, playing the rebellious teen so convincingly, we almost believe he's apathetic. I don't think Alec Guinness was in this one, but if he had been asked, he undoubtedly would have turned it down.
I thought previously I had seen the worst comedy of all time when I
endured Going Overboard. Now I'm not so sure.
This movie has a storyline and script so inane it may cause you mental anguish. If you suffer from depression I urge you to avoid this like the plague as it's just possible it could send you over the edge. It's a comedy with no funny bits. In fact the writers come up with the woeful idea of a resort comedian whose act is completely unfunny. If there's one thing a comedy this bad doesn't need, it's an intentionally unfunny character. The unfunny comedian is portrayed by Jim Varney in a toe-curlingly horrible performance; although it's just possible that Varney is outdone by John Ross, who plays an uptight scheming skier in a performance that is so atrocious it's an instrument of evil. You know a movie is in trouble when the best acting comes courtesy of Brigitte Neilson and Corey Haim.
If you are a snowboarder or a skier I implore you to avoid the temptation of watching this atrocity. It is not a good advert for winter sports.
Me and my friends have a bad movie night and this is why I have seen this dreck. So as a public service I feel duty bound to warn other people to avoid this rubbish. I've watched it so you don't have to. If you absolutely have to watch this be warned that you will have more fun setting fire to your genitals.
Have you ever watched one of those movies where, after about 30 minutes,
realize that you really, really wish that the capable actors in it were in
something a bit better written? This is one of those movies. Now, actors
like Varney, Haim, and Nielsen are usually not given much in the way of
regard but each is capable of a decent performance in a decent movie.
not talking DeNiro or Kidman here, just actors capable of doing a decent
job. Sadly, they get cast in utter crap like this. If you're a die-hard
fan of these actors, it might be worth watching. If not, carefully put
video box down and back away slowly.
This is essentially a slapstick farce in the vein of POLICE ACADEMY (they
were all popular around then weren't they?) only it was made in 1996 and
seems like a film from the '80s (that's how cheap the quality of the film
is). It stars Corey Haim and Jim "Ernest" Varney (R.I.P.) but isn't funny at
all, with revoltingly bad performances and "jokes." It's stupid, crude,
unfunny and downright hard to watch at times. Saw it years ago on HBO, and
don't plan to ever again.
This is the sort of movie that you wish could be burned. The plot (if there is one) is basically just a lot of chaos at a snowboard academy in the middle of nowhere - sort of like OUT COLD meets POLICE ACADEMY meets something else that's really dumb.
Don't bother. Please.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
As caveat, I have to admit at the onset that I went to school with James Salisko, who got the job of adding the jokes to the script and appears as the surly bartender. Salisko is a great guy, and he needed to pay the rent, so don't blame the writers --this is a producers' project from the get-go. This is the only snowboarding movie I've ever sat through, and it will likely be my last. It suffers from bad acting and bad writing, but the cast seem to be having fun just the same. Probably one of those sets where it was a lot of fun to hang out, but everyone knew the movie was a turkey from the get-go. The plot is a long-lost cousin of King Lear, but it doesn't rise above the cliche very often. With some veteran comic actors to keep things moving, a few token movie "stars" to put bums in seats, and great footage of the Laurentians, it's certainly pretty too look at. Maybe next time I watch, I'll keep the volume off and scan through the dialog scenes.
If you love cheesy lines and slapstick you'll agree this movie rocks. An undemanding movie that is easy to watch and does not get boring. If you liked this movie you'll love 'Kull the conquerer' starring Kevin Sorbo from 'The adventures Hercules', and any/all of the Mortal Kombat movies.
"Snowboard Academy", allegedly a comedy, is not funny. I don't mean, not "ha-ha" funny; I don't mean, not funny to certain sensibilities; I just mean plain, flat-out, empirically not funny. Jokes fall flatter than week-old cola. Actors soldier onward mindlessly -- I would call their performances workmanlike, but that would be insulting to workmen. We're talking a major step down from the Ernest flicks here. Even the snowboard stunts are lame and repetitive. Don't expect to see progressive technical riding here; just look for backflip after backflip. This movie is an insult to the intelligence of all who see it.
We all know that Jim Varney has constructed a career out of annoying, unexceptional, and almost slapstick comedy; a deadly combination. There is supposed to be some kind of hidden comedy (think Letterman) in Jim's seemingly desperate attempts to be funny and pseudo incompetence. He plays an incompetent safety engineer and entertainer...surprised? The focus of the movie is on many characters, not just one or two. The other characters are actually comedic. Slush is probably the funniest character in the entire movie. Overall, it's pretty good and the sound-track kicks ass. The plot is decent (for the time) and improbable yet not impossible. Refreshingly, there is no guy trying to get a girl.
What is this movie even about? I seriously don't get how this can be a
feature film. It's just a bunch of people in a ski resort doing, well,
the kind of things skiers do. Sure there is some kind of plot about
snowboards not being allowed on the ski hill, but seriously, this came
out in 1996, by then, snowboarders were in every resort I ever went to.
The main plot line concerns a non-issue and the sub plots don't amount
to anything either. I just dot understand, who thought this could be a
There are some attempts at comedy but that falls short too as well as most of the acting, the dialog and the characters. It's like a home movie from someones sub par ski vacation. Why anyone except for the makers would want to see that is a mystery to me.
Yes, I did buy this on DVD solely because Jim Varney is in it and I'm a huge fan. Even though this movie falls flat most of the time, Varney is the only one I wanted to see. Bless him, he always gave 110% to a role regardless of how crappy the script might be. (So far, the only crappy script was in this movie.) I love him as Ernest because I believe 100% that that was Jim's true calling. His character, 'Rudy James' does pull some Ernest-esque type stunts but without the Ernest charm I love so much. However, when Rudy slipped and started sliding in the snow, screaming like Ernest, and ended up crashing head first into a tree, I accidentally blurted out "Poor Ernest" before I could stop myself. I don't like pigeon-holing a character and I never did until then. I've come to realize that movies with very little heart, no strong moral foundation, foul language and sexual content don't do well for Varney. He was a stunning and brilliant actor but deep down I don't think he was ever meant to be in these types of movies. When he played down-to-earth, genuine characters like Ernest or 'Carl Banks' from 'Treehouse Hostage', you can see a difference in him. I think because in real life it was because Varney was a really sweet, down-to-earth, unpretentious man. Varney is hilarious in this movie and he has a great singing voice when he was entertaining customers at the bar. I found myself just going back to that scene and listening over and over again. I was ticked, however, when they cut away to show a scene between the bartender and the son of the owner of the resort(Flaherty). I was quite content on listening to Jim sing. True Varney fans(like myself) might want this one, but if not, leave it.
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