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The Size of Watermelons (1997)

R  |   |  Comedy, Music  |  17 January 1997 (USA)
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Ratings: 5.7/10 from 200 users  
Reviews: 5 user | 2 critic

Alex is the definition of loser. He has no, nor has he ever had, friends. His life has no direction and he has a stupid haircut. While attending the Venice Beach Art School, he meets Lizzy,... See full summary »



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Title: The Size of Watermelons (1997)

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Cast overview, first billed only:
Patrick (as Donovan Leitch)
Leonard (as John Enos)
The Vagrant
Matt Koruba ...
Young Alex
Drama Teacher
Bernie Engel ...


Alex is the definition of loser. He has no, nor has he ever had, friends. His life has no direction and he has a stupid haircut. While attending the Venice Beach Art School, he meets Lizzy, Patrick and Gnome, who become his friends. When Alex figures out he should make a movie, he decides to do an "alternative political documentary in black and white" about Gnomes struggle to free Hawaii. He hires some brain dead film students and meets the girl of his dreams and he's all ready to make his movie. Until the first scheduled shooting date when Gnome, who has the budget, turns up missing. Written by Beaumont-4

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


Comedy | Music

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for strong language and some sexual content | See all certifications »




Release Date:

17 January 1997 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Groß wie Wassermelonen  »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Sound Mix:


| (one scene)

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
See  »

Did You Know?


Alex: Well, Quentin Tarantino said "I didn't go to film school, I went to films."
Patrick: Yeah, but Quentin Tarantino eats my ass.
See more »

Crazy Credits

Credits play over old stock footage of Hawaiian dancers. See more »


References Taxi Driver (1976) See more »


Written by Ryder Graham and Brendan McMurray
Performed by R
Courtesy of METP Records
See more »

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User Reviews

pathetic recreation of Kevin Smith's early days i guess
15 December 2004 | by (Canada) – See all my reviews

This movie was terrible on so many levels. It's basically a rip off of Kevin Smith's life. It's about a slacker who can't figure out what to do in life. So he decides to make a movie but has no idea how. I know there's a bit more to this movie but after the first 50 minutes I stopped watching. I don't know how Kevin Smith could allow this to be made. It's like watching the making of Clerks or something. Witless dialogue, stiff acting and just painful to watch. The only interesting character was Patrick played by Donovan Leitch.

So overall don't waste your time on this unless you have never heard of Kevin Smith, seen a Kevin Smith movie or you just like lame half-assed slacker movies. Which i guess you can't expect much from.

1 of 10 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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