4 items from 2014
It’s that season again – the season where the Halloween candy isn’t even off the shelf before garish Christmas decorations are being unpacked. The season of overpriced junk being peddled as the “perfect holiday gift for friends and family”. The season of fake holiday cheer, fruity flavoured beers, and more phoney goodwill than you can shake a stick at.
Okay, so maybe that’s a bit of a cynical over-reaction, but really, Christmas for many is an annual chore, something that comes with tedious family obligations and an empty pocketbook. However, with Christmas comes some good things as well – rum and eggnog, apple pie, and Christmas movies. Christmas movies are good, right? Right?
- Jay Anderson
Throughout the month of December, we will be highlighting a film a day that has some tie into the holiday somehow. Some titles will be obvious, others won’t be. Some films will be good and, again, others won’t be. However, we think all titles are worth your time whether to give you chills inside your home or to make you drink more eggnog until you puke laughing.
Santa Claus (Bill Goldberg) is actually the son of the Devil who loves to kill and maim every December. But 1,000 years ago an angel comes down and makes a wager with Santa, if Claus loses he has to spend the next millennium delivering presents and spreading cheer to the children of the world. But time is up and Santa has come to the town of Hell to resume the killing. It’s up to Nicholas (Douglas Smith), his girlfriend (Emilie de Ravin »
- Jeremy Jones
Or, That Time That Santa Went to Prison and Dad Broke Parole to Spring Him. You know, for kids! A new classic in the annals of Yuletide movie misfires. I’m “biast” (pro): nothing
I’m “biast” (con): nothing
(what is this about? see my critic’s minifesto)
Or, That Time That Santa Went to Prison and Dad Broke Parole to Spring Him. You know, for kids! No, seriously: That’s really what Get Santa is. In the annals of Yuletide movie misfires — of which there are many — this is up there with Santa with Muscles and Santa Claus, the Movie (counting only the ones aimed at children, that is). I don’t know what anyone involved here was thinking: Father Christmas and the criminal justice system do not go together. There is nothing jolly about jail.
I re-emphasize: This is a movie intended for children, complete with aw-shucks father-son bonding, »
- MaryAnn Johanson
A month of bad holiday movies begins! Santa With Muscles (1996) Director: John Murlowski Stars: Hulk Hogan, Mila Kunis, Ed Begley Jr. A Scrooge-y millionaire gets amnesia and thinks he's Santa Claus on a mission to save an orphanage. From Suburban Commando to Mr. Nanny to 3 Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain, you can always count on Hulk Hogan to deliver on Awfully Good. Santa With Muscles is by far the worst movie on his embarrassing filmography and is probably »
- Jason Adams
4 items from 2014
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