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15 out of 21 people found the following review useful:

Phat beach changed my life.

Author: FuuH
16 April 2004

Before "Phat Beach" (which was JFK's answer to Vietnam.), I was a loser. I was going to college to major in being a burger flipper. I was goin' nowheresville fast. But as soon as I saw "Phat Beach", I instantly knew that my life would never be the same. It inspired me to find true love by stealing my dad's car to find my dream woman. Like the movie, I was almost hit by a huge truck while sleeping right before I got to a Phat Beach. But, enough about me. The movie was excellent: great plot, great hot boxes, great actors, great kenny rogerz. The only thing that could be better would be Woody Allen and more hott black ladiez. I mean, Phat black ladies. I mean, Phat African Americans.

I want to get the DVD, because I hear that there's cRaZy bloopers where Benny joins the navy and steals some car or some crap.

But Coolio is in this movie, and I was very offended. I hate him so much. The only thing worse than his acting is his horrible, horrible music (which is, in some ways, Phat).

If I were to sum this movie up in one statement, it would be, "gangbanging fun and 2fast2furious acting." If you liked that piece-of-crap movie, you'll probably hate Phat Beach, due to it being Phatter.

This got a 3 on the PH scale. It was like acid. But the good kind. The Phat kind. The kind that you put on sores to get sick, sick pleasure.

Like oranges.

You can compare this movie to F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. Benny was Gatsby, in the way that he was longing for his one true woman that he knew about, but could never obtain. Like Nick, his friend Direll or whatever that guy's name, he got the woman. And just like The Great Gatsby, everybody died in the end.

Watching Phat Beach is also statistically proven to reduce the risk of heart cancer and HIV.

PHAT BEACH RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

It's Phat

Author: Newsense from United States
8 July 2010

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I remember watching this movie recently. I had avoided watching this movie for a long time due to negative reviews but I finally caved in and saw it. As I was watching it, I found myself laughing as the movie went along. Phat Beach doesn't take itself serious so why should you? Phat Beach is a coming of age story about a plump kid named Benny(Jermaine Hopkins) who is unsatisfied with his summer and reluctantly joins his boisterous friend Durrel on a trip to the beach. Benny borrows his father's car for the trip and the rest of the movie deals with their misadventures at the beach.

Jermaine Hopkins is immensely likable as Benny. He comes of misguided at times but has a heart. Bryan Hooks is hilarious as the mischievous Durell. Granted that there are times when I didn't laugh but I laughed at 85% of this movie. That's way more then I ever laughed at any of the so-called comedies that are out these days(including anything by Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg). I find these critics amusing. All this talk about quality films while they're religiously watching Quentin Tarantino's(overrated one-trick pony hack)crappy overrated films. Pulleeze! At any rate Phat Beach is an underrated funny treat for people who don't pretend to be high-brow movie critics and can enjoy a movie for what it is. If you can do that you might like this one.

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6 out of 10 people found the following review useful:

By far the worst movie in the history of filmaking AND skin flicks

Author: Sho Nuff from Bay Area CA
6 February 1999

Watching this movie was the biggest waste of time and 2 bucks for rental in my life. If nothing catastrophic happens before I die, this will be the biggest regret of my life. Who ever even thought about this movie, or financed deserves a kick between the legs, because that's where they were thinking when they made this movie. It's about an overweight guy who is a hopeless romantic, and writes pretentious drivel that tries to pass off as poetry. He joins his amorous friend in a trip to the coast. Where they meet girls and such. Only the fat guy doesn't get a girl. Skin flicks don't annoy me, I take 'em for face value. But this movie tries to be more than a skin flick. It's about Fat guy looking for love in some girl, but then meets another bikini silicone girl that enjoys his poetry. He finds his talent for volleyball which gets money for his family and impresses the ladies, only he has his lady anyways. The dialogue is super-horrible for even a C movie. It supports a ton of black stereotypes, no character development, it's a glorified porno movie, without any porn in it. Never ever watch this movie.

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:


Author: twiggy81r from Richmond, Va
19 August 2006

Many people don't like this movie. To me, it's a classic. Sure, it spawned from the West Coast, and as we all know, everything comes from the West to the East, but this movie is an exception. Nineteen Ninety Six; the year Antichrist Superstar came out. Even though this is a very funny movie and some lines from it will be repeated for years, the wardrobe and music seems to be at least four years behind the original release date. At first viewing, you would think this film was released in 1991 or 1992 considering all the music and styles, but turn the DVD case over and you'll see 1996. I think this is the only exception that the East Coast was WAY ahead of the West Coast.

Overall, a hilarious movie with lines you will repeat over and over again.

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1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

'Phat Beach' is Phat!

Author: Andre from West Siide
9 April 2002

By far one of the best small scale movies I have ever seen!! All the characters are downright hilarious, with some lovely locations and beautiful women. To top it off, the main character is actually someone with a little honor and self-respect, and, in the end, it's what gets him what he wants.

So, if you haven't seen it, see it, cause it's PHAT!

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2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Great Pointless Film

Author: reverendtom from Santa Cruz, CA
11 December 2006

This is the epic tale of a overweight young man and his player buddy Darnell's trip to the beach, the Phat Beach! The fat boy steals his father's Benz and off they go, with visions of fat booties in their heads. Once they get there, Darnell is getting mo' booty than a bike seat and the fat man (whose name I can't remember, else I'd use it, I'm not trying to offend the overweight here) keeps getting rejected. He sees his dream girl and chases her as best as he can, but she is cruel to him. The film then begins to get pretty depressing with the fat man wandering around alone while Darnell keeps getting them ladies. There is something I like about this movie, and I honestly don't know what it is. Nothing really happens in it, it isn't very funny, there is little to no nudity, Coolio is in it for about three seconds, but I am always drawn back to it. About once a year I get a craving for Phat Beach. It takes all kinds, I guess. In Phat Beach related news: I gave this DVD to a friend for his birthday. His house was broken into on my birthday and a bunch of stuff was stolen, including this DVD. Bizarre.

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7 out of 14 people found the following review useful:

one of the forefathers in revolutionising the way we think about cinematic photography

Author: milne720 from stirling, scotland
14 April 2004

this film changed the way i thought about movies, it raises the bar, no film is close at the moment, except Donnie Darko!!! when the film finished i was truely moved and the hairs on the back of my neck were on end all night.(either that or the heating was off!!!!). the character development was sublime, the plot-addictive. and when it was all over i felt, i had connected with the phat guy. contrary to other peoples opinions, joshs, this film is well worth buying and will be a regular discussion point along with the greats like star wars and the godfather I & II. a truely excellent movie, one which i will share this pleasure with my children in 20 years time, it is that good!!!

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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

This movie will stick with me forever.

Author: mariomaniac2 from United Kingdom
3 August 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The year is 1996. Film as we know it is coming to a dead end. With mediocre outings such as Scream, Mission:Impossible and Trainspotting, cinema goers have lost faith in Hollywood and seek other pastimes, such as sandwich-making and witchcraft.

On a rainy 1996 day, I went alone to the local cinema. Having to make my own popcorn (as it was no longer sold due to lack of demand), I entered the empty room, a tear rolling from my eye. To me, it seemed, this may be the last time I went to a cinema, heck, it could be the last time I saw a movie!

What I saw in that very cinema astounded me as it does every generation to behold it to this day. "Phat Beach" was the phattest movie I had ever seen. It was phatter than phat. Despite Hollywood's best efforts, it has never been out-phatted, and never will in my eyes.

Imagine Ferris Buellers day off meets Kenan and Kel and you are approaching a thousandth of what "Phat Beach" has to offer. Throw in Pulp Fiction and the Godfather series, and you have the first five minutes.

What makes it so easy to relate to is the main character, Benny. Like many of us, he stays at home with his parents 10 years or so longer than he might like to, he weighs a few hundred pounds more than he might like and, yeah, he's left the small matter of having sex a bit late in hope of making his first time real special. But Benny don't care. He is a poet, a tortured soul who cares for nothing but his art.

If you expect this movie to be funny, you are sorely mistaken. What "Phat Beach" achieves is far above mere fickle humour. Your emotions are taken for a a roller-coaster ride as you follow Benny's story. You share his loneliness, his feelings of betrayal and joy at discovering a hidden talent for volleyball.

But "Phat Beach" does not make your emotions its play thing. For example, during the volleyball sequences, Benny rarely loses a point, meaning that there is no moment of doubt. Benny is phat, and thus should NEVER loose. We understand this, and therefore become absorbed by his world.

So should you watch "Phat Beach". Do you enjoy seeing fat gentlemen in chef's hats? Are you Cooilio's biggest fan? Do you seek further meaning in this life we all lead? If the answer to all three questions is yes (and it damn well should be), you should buy at least three copies of "Phat Beach" within the next ten minutes.

For me, "Phat Beach" is a masterpiece of cinema, and I therefore watch it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I recommend the DVD release including the trailer which, although essentially several random clips of the movie mixed together and interspersed with fades over several minutes, does shed a lot more of that light you've been yearning for on to this glorious movie.

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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

Phat Beach, Bad Movie, Hilarious Moments

Author: mcwright from United States
29 March 2006

Phat Beach is by far one of the best bad movies of all time. OK, the plot was bad and most of the writing. However, I thought Durrel and Mikey Z were hilarious. Most of the people that have commented on this movie said that they thought Benny was the best character but I disagree. Benny is an idiot. Who thinks they are getting free dances by a girl in a bikini in a strip club? I mean really. Durrel is by far the best character and Mikey Z makes a great nemesis. The funniest parts of the movie are when Durrel and Mikey Z meet and the interactions that occur later in the movie. I am really amazed that no one else commented on how hilarious Mikey Z and Durrel were together. Overall, a great movie to watch if nothing else is on TV and your looking for a few hard laughs. I wish they made a sequel.

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0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

a shear epic!!!

Author: supaman828 from chicago
21 May 2001

one of the finest pieces of cinema of our time!!! It raves with comedy every single step of the way. with such famous qoutes as "nyan nyan". A must purchases for any one!!!

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