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Paula Jai Parker
Two small time scam artists, Black and Blue, sell boom boxes and broken TVs from their van at the parking lot. When, by mistake, a shipment of cellular phones gets to them, it doesn't take long before FBI and gangsters are after them.
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Before "Phat Beach" (which was JFK's answer to Vietnam.), I was a loser. I was going to college to major in being a burger flipper. I was goin' nowheresville fast. But as soon as I saw "Phat Beach", I instantly knew that my life would never be the same. It inspired me to find true love by stealing my dad's car to find my dream woman. Like the movie, I was almost hit by a huge truck while sleeping right before I got to a Phat Beach. But, enough about me. The movie was excellent: great plot, great hot boxes, great actors, great kenny rogerz. The only thing that could be better would be Woody Allen and more hott black ladiez. I mean, Phat black ladies. I mean, Phat African Americans.
I want to get the DVD, because I hear that there's cRaZy bloopers where Benny joins the navy and steals some car or some crap.
But Coolio is in this movie, and I was very offended. I hate him so much. The only thing worse than his acting is his horrible, horrible music (which is, in some ways, Phat).
If I were to sum this movie up in one statement, it would be, "gangbanging fun and 2fast2furious acting." If you liked that piece-of-crap movie, you'll probably hate Phat Beach, due to it being Phatter.
This got a 3 on the PH scale. It was like acid. But the good kind. The Phat kind. The kind that you put on sores to get sick, sick pleasure.
You can compare this movie to F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. Benny was Gatsby, in the way that he was longing for his one true woman that he knew about, but could never obtain. Like Nick, his friend Direll or whatever that guy's name, he got the woman. And just like The Great Gatsby, everybody died in the end.
Watching Phat Beach is also statistically proven to reduce the risk of heart cancer and HIV.
PHAT BEACH RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
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