It has been 25 years since the ore spaceship Siberia was last heard from. Unfortunately, it is now on a collision course with the communications station Comstat 5 which is orbiting Mars. ... See full summary »
During the Cuban Missle Crisis, a Russian sub is sunk while en route to Havana. As the sub goes down, the hold is breached and barrels full of some mysterious substance tumble out. Years ... See full summary »
A woman is stalked and eventually kidnapped by her psychotic ex-husband. Her present husband, who wasn't even aware that his wife had been previously married, is initially caught in a ... See full summary »
Katherine Kelly Lang,
John Enos III
Two cops investigating the murder of a young boy become invloved in a very secret project involving alien life. Needless to say, the authorities don't want them to stick their noses into ... See full summary »
A child is traumatized when his father, a stuntman, dies in an attempt to go over Niagara Falls. Later, his mother meets and marries a truck driver, and things seem to be going OK. Then the... See full summary »
When Chris King's father dies, he is devastated. However, when a bunch of assorted heavies start threatening him over a mysterious package his father may or may not have left him, grief is ... See full summary »
Geraint Wyn Davies,
Mayor Stiles' daughter Donna is killed the night after a lousy date with the shy Mitch. Of course this makes him the main suspect. When Mitch gets free on bail, Styles hires ex-cop Mace to ... See full summary »
New area deputy Jack Gales arrives on the island to find that a girl at the local Catholic girls' school has been found dead. After investigating, he finds that students have been ... See full summary »
Terry David Mulligan
A charming wannabe movie star in the habit of dating and then murdering unattractive, wealthy female drama students, is set up by an ex-con and the sister of one of his victims by his own M.O (Modus Operandi).
You have been found guilty on the charge of being a dreadful movie, and are hereby condemned to obscurity and widespread, justified hatred
If this is not heavily featured on every list of "what not to watch", it should only be because those keeping that particular list are not aware of its existence, which, as long as that remains so, is the acceptable alternative. I'm not kidding you, this is a *bad* "movie". Joseph Meeker returns from the dead, with various vague, undefined supernatural powers, the most employed of which would seem to be appearing in new, increasingly comical-looking and ridiculous(and never scary or creepy... in general, when this goes for the latter of those, it winds up just being bizarre, and attempts at the former just don't work, period) outfits and stereotypes/archetypes, and he is portrayed by David Keith(whom I respect in... well, at least Daredevil), doing a more often than not terribly inconsistent(which could also have to do with script) and often over the top performance. A character or two have personalities so unbelievably irritating that they're painful to watch. The editing thinks it's considerably more clever than it really is(and what on Earth was with the red tint for the flashbacks?). Cinematography... oh, dear. Framing, coverage, effective use of angle(that one could be attributed some to editing, too, perhaps), please, guys, stop me when I say something you've ever heard about the existence of. As far as the technical side goes, this is a pretty lousy excuse for something more worthwhile to put in the projector than unexposed film. But why stop there? The plot is just poor. The basic idea's been done, and it's been done so much better than this(The Crow would be one). The way it's told is gimmicky, and while there is some explanation behind the flashbacks, it still doesn't satisfy. Pacing is about non-existent. The lead is distinctly unlikeable, and there's more personality in a barn door, not to mention that those are also considerably less wooden. Kelly Perine and Thomas Ian Nicholas? What in the name of all that is good and just(pun intended) are you doing in this? Perine, you were already funny before this, on The Drew Carey Show, Nicholas, well, I haven't seen you in anything preceding American Pie, but if nothing else, you *were* funny later on, and in those productions, the amusement was intentional. Dialog is... the less said, the better. Language is unrestrained, and tends to be stupid. The violence is shoddily done, and they don't even seem to care to try to hide it(hinting at it might have been the smarter strategy). Characters, don't get me started. Why spend so much energy on portraying unexciting, at times utterly illogical, events? The more you think about this, the worse it gets. It's not even passable as a "bad horror flick", or a B movie(it may very well pass through the rest of the alphabet, and go further still), it couldn't scare you on the scariest day of your life if it had an electrified scaring machine. I recommend this only to people who want to disprove how bad this is, and don't say I didn't warn ya. 1/10
0 of 3 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?