Jack Frost (1997 Video)
[after seeing a corpse dressed up like a Christmas tree]
Deputy Pullman: You don't reckon that we keep her up for the twelve days of Christmas, then?
Tommy: I said, who's there?
[Jack Frost hits Tommy, and enters the house]
Jack Frost: Well it ain't fucking Frosty!
[after reforming himself in a distorted way]
Jack Frost: Look, Ma! I'm a Picasso!
[Jack Frost has killed Jill]
Jack Frost: Looks like Christmas came a little early this year. Well, I hope it was good for you honey. Oh, I must remember to send flowers.
Sam: Look, I just saw something that doesn't belong in this world, and it's out there killing my friends. Now, tell me what it is!
Agent Manners: Jack Frost.
Sam: No, Jack Frost died.
Stone: Jack Frost changed.
[after Jack has apparently been destroyed]
Agent Manners: It's at a time like this, when I think all we can do is turn our eyes up to the heavens and say...
[looks up and realizes Jack is back]
Agent Manners: ...Oh shit.
Sam: Marla, I want you to call around, and get a hold of Jill Metzner. Oh, call the FBI in Denver, too. Some asshole named Manners.
[Sam sees Agent Manners in the office]
Sam: Who are you?
Agent Manners: I'm the asshole.
Agent Manners: Have the MV's been moved?
Sam: Motor vehicles?
Agent Manners: Have the murder victims been moved yet?
Sam: No, uh, Jake and Sally Metzner have not been moved yet.
Agent Manners: Fine. First take me to the crime scene. 'Scuse me, Jake and Sally's place. If everything checks out as I think it will, I'll have a task force in here by midnight.
Sam: Does this mean this case is being taken out of my hands?
Agent Manners: It was never in them, Sheriff.
[Sam has frightened Stone with a warning shot]
Stone: Do something!
Agent Manners: Like what? Teach him how to shoot better?
Jill Metzner: Tommy, no. Don't put cold water in. Now it's freezing.
[the bath water transforms into Jack Frost]
Jill Metzner: [on seeing a freshly ran bath of water] Thank you, Tommy!
[Cuts to Tommy's corpse, which seems to be comically nodding in response]
Jack Frost: [attacking Sam with an icicle] Listen, I got a point I'd like to make!
[Sam shoves oatmeal at Jack Frost, causing him to burn]
Sam: Oatmeal is making him burn. Wait. What did you put in those oats?
Ryan Tiler: Sorry.
Sam: No. It's a good thing that you did.
Ryan Tiler: I didn't want you to get cold.
Sam: What did you put in the oats?
Ryan Tiler: Anti-freeze.
[Sam smiles and hugs Ryan]
Jack Frost: That's right, Sheriff! You take a good, long look at this face! 'Cuz the next time you see it, it's gonna tear your world apart! I'll find a way! I'll tear your town apart! I'll kill your family! I'll kill you! You're dead! You hear me? Dead!
Sam: Look, I need everybody here to work with me on this, alright? I need you to stay calm. I need you to trust these people.
Paul Davrow: Why in hell should we trust these guys?
Agent Manners: Because we might just be your only hope.
Sam: That's right!
[Jack's head flying through the air]
Jack Frost: I can see your house from up here!
[Sam looks at one of Jack Frost's letters]
Anne: I thought you destroyed those.
Sam: I wish it was that easy.
Anne: Sam, he's gone, and he can't come back. The only place he exists now is in here.
[Anne touches Sam's head and kisses him]
Jack Frost: [after being hit by a truck] Somebody get the number of that truck!
Ryan Tiler: [muttering to his snowman puppet] I hope he breaks his face.
Billy Metzner: What did you say?
Ryan Tiler: Nothing.
Billy Metzner: Nobody says nothing behind my back.
Tommy: What's the difference between snowmen and snow women?
Tommy: No, really. What's the difference.
Sam: [leaving] I'll see you, Tommy.
Tommy: Snowballs. Did you get it, Mr. T? Snowballs.
Deputy Foster: So, you reckon you're about ready to step out to lunch with me then?
Marla: Do I look ready?
Deputy Foster: Sure do to me.
[Marla sprays hair spray at him]
Marla: Luckily for you, Joe, the power to cloud men's minds is a responsibility I take very seriously.
Jack Frost: Say, pal, how about a smoke?
Guard: Say, Frost, why don't you shut the hell up?
[the guard smokes a cigarette and blows smoke at Jack Frost, who sniffs it]
Jack Frost: Filtered.
Sally: She's only talking back to you because she's upset.
Jake: Sally, when I want philosophy, I'll turn on "Oprah."
Stone: We hadn't even tested the acid on an amoeba, let alone a human cell. This is a disaster.
Agent Manners: Disaster? You got to learn to look on the bright side of things.
Stone: The bright side?
Agent Manners: Sure. At least you know it works. It's just a shame that your guinea pig had to be a homicidal maniac like Jack Frost, who I now have to put back... in a test tube.
Driver: [driving through a snowstorm] That murdering bastard Jack Frost in there is one lucky son of a bitch.
Second Driver: Lucky? He's being executed in thirty minutes.
Driver: Yeah, but at least he doesn't have to drive back through this crap.
Second Driver: Deep fried Jack served at midnight!
[Billy is decapitated by a sled]
Ryan Tiler: I didn't do it.
[Sam has just had a conversation with Agent Manners, whom he had called an "asshole"]
Marla: You were right the first time, Sam - 'asshole!'
Jack Frost: [surviving a motor vehicle accident] Looks like Deep Fried Jack's off the menu for tonight, huh?
Driver: Jesus Christ.
Sam: Did you say 'it', Doc?
Doc Peters: I beg your pardon?
Sam: You said 'it', instead of 'he' or 'she'.
Doc Peters: That's just a figure of speech, Sam. Who- whoever did this is an animal... metaphorically.
[Sam has just been misinformed about the status of Jack Frost]
Sam: It's over.
Agent Manners: It's starting.
Sam: Come on, shoot it!
Stone: Those are not your orders.
Agent Manners: Somebody remember to put out the cat.
[Agent Manners fires his gun at Jack Frost, causing an explosion]
Agent Manners: What do you want us to do, Stone? Wait until spring and see if he melts?
Sally: Don't you think we ought to put the tree lights on?
Jake: Your son is in cold five hours. You want festivities?
Sally: I was only...
Jake: Yeah, well don't.
Jack Frost: [to Paul] Ho ho ho. And what's your name little boy?