High School High (1996)
Richard Clark: Victoria, could you give me a ride home? I seem to have misplaced my car.
Victoria Chapell: Oh, don't worry about it. All the teachers loose their car on their first day.
Principal Evelyn Doyle: I inherited the business from my late husband.
Richard Clark: I'm shocked!
Principal Evelyn Doyle: What? That a woman can run a business?
Richard Clark: No. That you were ever married.
[Alcohol is poured into Richard Clark's coffee cup]
Richard Clark: Isn't it a little early for drinking?
Woman: Who stops?
Principal Evelyn Doyle: What the hell is going on here?
Victoria Chapell: I was attacked.
Principal Evelyn Doyle: Well, what did you expect, dressed like that, and alone, with him?
Richard Clark: I've never been very good with relationships. In fact, most of mine ended with 'Hey, what are you doing in bed with that other woman?' And that was me talking!
Richard Clark: I'm Richard Clark, I'm the new history teacher here. What department do you teach in?
Teacher: I don't know, something up on the third floor.
[Julie is pregnant with her third child]
Richard Clark: Well, Julie I hoped you learned a valuable lesson from this.
Julie Rubels: Oh, yes. Basically as far as vasectomies go, never use the home kit.
Thaddeus Clark: Richard, if you do this, you will fail. You will fail. And mark my works, you'll come crawling back here with your tail between your legs.
Richard Clark: You're wrong father. I'm gonna succeed at Barry High School. And, I have no intention of ever crawling back here with anything between my legs!
School P.A.: [voice-over] Farouk Abdul, please report to the principal's office. One of your fathers is here.
[During drug bust]
Principal Evelyn Doyle: What is she doing here?
Richard Clark: She's my bitch!
[Veronica scolds at him]
Richard Clark: Well... my significant other. We've been slappin' skins for sometime, hmmmm?
Victoria Chapell: [referring to Paco's entry into a school dance, even though it's not his school] Paco's gang always gets into other school dances, and they bring weapons to them
Richard Clark: What kind of people bring weapons to a dance?
[Anferney and all his friends nearby put their hands in their coats, and you hear guns cocking]
Victoria Chapell: Remember, some things are irreplaceable
Richard Clark: Irreplaceable? Nothings gonna happen to me.
[Richard drives away]
Victoria Chapell: I was talking about my car!
[the school nurse hands a student a paper which has an appointment for a pregnancy test]
Nurse: Here you go you little slut.
Richard Clark: Why would I have his briefcase unless I was workin' for him?
Principal Evelyn Doyle: That's doesn't prove anything. You could have seen him down in the restaurant, dressed up like a waiter, created some kind of diversion while she snatched it from under the table.
Richard Clark: [Swallows toothpick] That's a little farfetched, don't you think?
Richard Clark: [to Ms Doyle] I'm higher than hell and you're STILL ugly!
Mrs. McReynolds: [Griff has graduated] Way to go Griff that's my boy!
Mrs. Clark: [She taps Mrs. McReynolds on the shoulder and then points at Richard] That's *my* boy
Victoria Chapell: [Richard and Victoria are making love in the dark] Richard? I'm over here.
Victoria's Cat: MEOW!