Jack "Duece" Cooper: [to a spider] Hey Charlotte, where's Wilbur?
[cut to his mom serving up ham]
Jack "Duece" Cooper: Wilbur, Mom you didn't.
Lydia: Two fingers is a curve ball, right?
Jack "Duece" Cooper: That's a peace sign, I think.
Tipton: [Ed complains about the bat being too big] Sorry Ed, we don't carry baseball bats your size.
[Ed bites off the end]
Chubb: [laughing] We do now.
Jack "Duece" Cooper: [Ed's trying to get in the house pretending to need the bathroom] How dumb do I look? You wanted to play hardball remember? There's a sandbox down there so go pee your socks off, and *quit* banging on the door.
[closes the door and Ed breaks it down]
Jack "Duece" Cooper: What the?