Haunted by recurring dreams of Hea-Thor (Denise Ames), a gorgeous cavegirl,and a menacing Allosaurus, action-movie star Tony Markham (Jeff Rector) soon finds himself transported, by means ... See full summary »
Countess Elizabeth Bathory, history's infamous lesbian vampire who, centuries ago, bathed in the blood of virgins to preserve her youth, arrives from Transylvania to take over the Los ... See full summary »
Donald F. Glut
Fiery blonde half-breed Yellow Hair and her easygoing sidekick the Pecos Kid are after a fortune in Mayan gold. The courageous duo have run-ins with an army of Mexican soldiers, a gang of ... See full summary »
Prostitute Sugar is set up by a corrupt politician. She is convinced of the futility of appealing her case in the courts and signs on to a chain gang run by the notorious Dr. John who ... See full summary »
Eddie is a Vietnam veteran who loses his arms and legs when he steps on a land mine, but a brilliant surgeon is able to attach new limbs. Unfortunately an insanely jealous assistant (who ... See full summary »
Someone is killing off the female leads of the movie production "Bad Girls from Mars." The producers feel they should try to finish the film, even though they're making a lucrative amount ... See full summary »
Fred Olen Ray
Haunted by recurring dreams of Hea-Thor (Denise Ames), a gorgeous cavegirl,and a menacing Allosaurus, action-movie star Tony Markham (Jeff Rector) soon finds himself transported, by means of a magic Icon, back through time to Dinosaur Valley. Now trapped in world of dangerous dinosaurs, grunting cavemen and a tribe of exotic, love-starved cavegirls, Tony must put his modern-days skills to extreme tests in order to survive prehistoric perils, win the cavegirl of his dreams and (maybe) return to his own time? Written by
This movie does not deliver in any way. If you're looking for a funny low-budget flick, sorry, you're out of luck. The acting is terrible, the scenes flat, and the staging horrendous. Also, it's WAY too boring to have fun watching, even with a bunch of drunk friends. If you're looking for soft-core porn, you'll be even more disappointed. Some breasts at the beginning and scattered through the middle, and one sex scene with precious little nudity and no eroticism whatsoever are the only porn-like moments of the film. There is maybe a minute's worth of boobies in this long, boring flick. The movie's one saving grace: the ridiculous soundtrack. The self-indulgent director Glut records himself singing two lovely tunes. The first, "Jurassic Punk," is unforgettable, and shown music video-style over a montage of cave girls trying to dance sexily but looking like doofuses and a stop-motion allosaur rubbing its teeth on a plastic stegosaur. The second, "Dinosaur Valley Girls," runs over the closing credits and is not quite as memorable, but still quite catchy. Actually worth the rental for the songs, but just fast forward the rest of the movie. 2 out of 10.
6 of 10 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?