- Steve: Regina, Lovita... you gotta help me with my niece. She just don't act like a normal teenager. She don't talk back, she don't roll her eyes... the poor girl thinks that Snoop Doggy Dog is Charlie Brown's pet!
- [to Romeo]
- Steve: Boy, you better watch your tone of voice with me! This ain't Michelle Pfeiffer you're talking to.
- Steve: Lovita, please. You in the kitchen is like a black man in a horror film - - somebody gonna die!
- Bullethead: I'm sorry, my religion does not allow me to work on the sabbath.
- Steve: The sabbath, for you, is on a wednesday? Boy, your ignorance is dazzling.
- Bullethead: Thank you.
- Steve: Lovita, you want raffle tickets? In English, "no"; In Spanish, "no"; in Russian, "nyet", and in Ebonics, HECK no!
- [Regina is wearing a neckbrace and walking on crutches]
- Steve: Regina, you look like an extra in "E.R.".
- Steve's Niece: My mother always told me that beauty comes from within.
- Lovita: That's true. It comes from the beauty within the cosmetic counter at the Rite-Aid.
- Steve: Regina, I teach six classes, three different subjects, I got study hall and a room full of teenagers with their hormones just ragin'. Couple of them are hotter than a Porsche in the projects.
- Bullethead: Hey guys, let's get going. I gotta meet my date!
- Steve: A date?
- Romeo: Yeah. I'm as shocked as you are, Mr. Hightower, but it's true! Bullethead's got a chickenhead!
- Steve: [after Regina's failed attempt to stop Romeo from Humiliating Steve, ending up with Regina receiving a Key Lime Pie to the face and Steve is urprised that Regina came up to him] Well, look who's here. Our very own Principal Grier!
- Regina: [With pie on her face] I hate you, Steve!
- Steve: But I love you though...
- [Steve licks his fingers after Regina coughs and starts to wipe the pie filling off]
- Steve: That's Key Lime. That's my favorite.
- Lovita: [after hearing about Regina's plan to humiliate Steve] Who are you going to get that's dumb enough to throw a pie in Steve's face?