Karaoke (1996 TV Mini-Series)
Daniel Feeld: It's the feeling that everything, so to say, out there has been prearranged, and all you have is a sliver of stage to act on. I don't know what to call it.
Anna Griffiths: Paranoia?
Daniel Feeld: Ha! I've always wanted to be an artsy fartsy arsehole, Anna. That's why I subscribe to that wonderful magazine, what's it called? Sight and Sound!
Arthur 'Pig' Mallion: What a lucky boy you turned out to be, eh?
Arthur 'Pig' Mallion: I don't give a pint of horse piss about your private life! This is where you get paid, this is where you bring your pretty little arse, on time!
Nick Balmer: I have a whole team set to eliminate a Mister Pig Mallion. A joke I'm sure eludes you.
Linda Langer: It's like some sort of story, and it's gone all wrong!
Ian: [Editing] Can I say this?
Nick Balmer: Of course.
Ian: ...Och, you're fond of the wee lassy, the noo.
Nick Balmer: What are you saying? Take your kilt off!
Ian: I'm saying, Nick, that it shows!
Daniel Feeld: But it's the crucial, comic, character defining moment. "Each night I ask the stars up above, why must I be a teenager in love?"
Anna Griffiths: It's too on the nose.
Daniel Feeld: Yes, right bang on the snoz, love!
Arthur 'Pig' Mallion: Listen, if you've dropped me in it, you're not going to like the look of your pretty face any more, and that's a promise.
Linda Langer: Don't say that, Arthur, please.
Consultant: An obstruction in the pancreas.
Daniel Feeld: Is that a euphemism, don't you mean growth?
Consultant: Ah, but we don't know if it's benign or malignant.
Daniel Feeld: An obstruction. Well, it's what I've always wanted to be.