Gulliver's Travels (1996– )
Lemuel Gulliver: All the Yahoo vices I can begin to accustom myself to once more. Except for pride. That I cannot tolerate. I see myself for what I truly am. I have lost eight years of my life... And yet, and yet, the moments I have had, the marvels I have witnessed, the wonderful truths I have seen. You see, when night falls and you close your eyes to sleep and dream, I have seen the things that you can only dream about. I have been there. I was lost at sea for a long time. But I have been there. Oh yes. All the way and back.
Emperor of Lilliput: Well, you weren't exaggerating... he's a whopper!
Empress of Lilliput: [while passing under Gulliver whose trousers are ragged] Colossus!
Lemuel Gulliver: The bestial Yahoos fight for no reason all. While we on the order hand fight for very good reasons, such as, well, our enemies are weaker than us or we desire all their land.
Lady-in-Waiting: I was wondering if the little gentleman might be for sale.
Farmer Grultrud: No disrespect, my lady, but no amount of money is going to part the two of us.
Lady-in-Waiting: I have here five-hundred pieces of gold.
Farmer Grultrud: Do you want to take him tonight?
Gen. Limtoc: Yesterday we gave him enough to feed a regiment for a week. Now he says he's hungry again!
[Gulliver has just kissed the Empress of Lilliput's hand, covering it with drool]
Clustril: Bring towels and a bucket!
[to the Emperor]
Clustril: It seems his lips were a bit... wet.
Adm. Bolgolam: [the Emperor, his sons, General Limtoc and Admiral Bolgolam, Clustril and other s are in the Lilliputian campaign room, discussing Gulliver's 'inventive' way of extinguishing a fire] This is an outrage! He made water in the royal grounds! It's a treasonable offence!
Emperor of Lilliput: But he saved the Empress' life!
Gen. Limtoc: At what cost? Our stepmother may never go out in public again, convinced that she's the laughing stock of Lilliput!
Emperor of Lilliput: But she's not that...
Emperor of Lilliput: Is she?
Gen. Limtoc: [Gulliver, who is looking into the window of Lilliputian Great Chamber of War, blows off Clustril's hat] Giant's a bloody menace!
Lemuel Gulliver: [to Clustril] I want you to have this.
[Gulliver gives him his wedding ring]
Clustril: Oh, marvellous! What do I want with your ring, eh? I can't wear it, can I?
Lemuel Gulliver: It's *gold*.
Clustril: [takes it in awe] You always were good to me! You were always my friend! Dad! We're *rich*!
Drunlo: Never mind that, son, never mind that. I think I've found... the other boot!
Drunlo: [walking down the beach] Don't despair, son. you remember when we were walking down here, it was the middle of winter, never thought we'd find anything. And then... we found a *treasure*.
Clustril: We found one boot. With a hole in it!
Drunlo: Well, you never know. Today we might look down and find the matching boot.
Clustril: That was *five years ago*, Dad!
Lemuel Gulliver: Why should we not be seen as God made us?
Dr. Bates: Because as any Christian knows, it would be immodest!
Lemuel Gulliver: Meaning that these people would be incapable of modest behaviour if they were naked?
Lemuel Gulliver: [Introducing himself to Mistress] I am just a poor Englishman.
Lemuel Gulliver: But unless thousands are starving, how can there be structure to society?
Lemuel Gulliver: That's easy, we just borrow more from ourselves.
Mary Gulliver: You asked me if I believed him. I believe in him.
Mary Gulliver: You're a Doctor. Why are you taking something when you don't know what it is?
Lemuel Gulliver: I do know what it is. Laudanum.
Mary Gulliver: I think he has much to teach us if we would only list...
[Gulliver has just explained in great detail the nature of 18th Century Britain]
Queen of Brobdingnag: The history of you country seems to consist of nothing more than a squalid string of conspiracies, rebellions, revolutions, murders and massacres. Every judgment seems to be motivated by greed, by malice, hypocrisy, hatred, envy, lust and madness!
Lemuel Gulliver: Perhaps I explained badly.
Queen of Brobdingnag: You have proved that ignorance, idleness and vice are the only qualifications for public office and that your laws are made by those whose only interest is in perverting them. I can only conclude that your people are the most pernicious race of odious little vermin that ever nature suffered to crawl upon the face of the Earth!
[Gulliver has come before the immortal Struldbruggs]
Immortal Gatekeeper: Welcome to the immortal world.
[leads Gulliver to a font in the middle of their chamber]
Immortal Gatekeeper: This is the source of the life everlasting. Drink from this water and you will never fear death. Never.
[offers Gulliver a dish of the water]
Lemuel Gulliver: But I have to get home. There's a ship in the harbor. I only have minutes before it sails.
Immortal Gatekeeper: Minutes? What are minutes? You have no need for such petty considerations here.
Lemuel Gulliver: [narrating] I was offered immortality... man's dream. With the fear of death removed, I could learn the truths of existence. I could get riches in wisdom. I could read every book ever written. Study the movements of the planets and the stars. I could watch the rise and falls of republics and kings and from the great depths of my knowledge, offer advice to all. I could do anything.
Immortal Gatekeeper: Drink. Taste immortality.
Lemuel Gulliver: Why is your hand shaking so badly?
[he sees a Struldbrugg in the corner coughing up blood]
Lemuel Gulliver: What's wrong with her?
Immortal Gatekeeper: Nothing.
Lemuel Gulliver: What's wrong with everyone?
Immortal Gatekeeper: Drink the water. You will defy nature.
[Gulliver notices that she is not looking directly at him]
Immortal Gatekeeper: You will outlive the stars themselves. You'll be like a god.
Lemuel Gulliver: You can't see me, can you?
Immortal Gatekeeper: I'm alive! The water keeps us alive.
Lemuel Gulliver: You're blind.
[looks around the room]
Lemuel Gulliver: You're all blind!
Immortal Gatekeeper: No, some of us can still make out shape and movement. We'll never die, that's what matters. We'll never die.
Struldbruggs: [chanting] Never die. Never die.
Immortal Gatekeeper: That's all that matters... cheating death!
Lemuel Gulliver: No... no!
[runs from the chamber]