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"7th Heaven"
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Reviews & Ratings for
"7th Heaven" More at IMDbPro »

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24 out of 31 people found the following review useful:

This show couldn't be any more complicated...

Author: perni from Owensboro, KY
2 November 2003

I used to be a regular viewer of 7th Heaven, but after a while there were so many convoluted subplots that I just had to give up. The main family itself is huge, but when you add about 15 side characters the relationships become a bit too hard to follow. Also, I really got tired of how every episode became some political preaching about the latest controversy or hot button issue. In one episode, Ruthie writes letters to a U.S. soldier who is stationed in Afghanistan. Then she gets all worried when the guy stops writing back, and the preacher father ends the episode by reciting a sermon about America's heroes. Now, I'm all for being patriotic and all that jazz, but that entire episode seemed to be written in about five minutes and tacked onto the season just so the staff could win an Emmy. I'm willing to bet money that the writers just open up the paper to the Opinion section, close their eyes, point at a random story, and then write a script based on the issue. Going back to how complicated the show has gotten, I'd just like to note that it is very frustrating when the characters have boyfriends and girlfriends so many times in a season that you have no idea what's even happening any more. Seriously, you can skip one episode and someone will be married/divorced/pregnant/in a coma the next week. Talk about drastically changing plot lines! Now I'd like to talk about the most unintentionally hilarious episode, AKA the one that discussed the issue of marijuana. I could not believe how politically charged this one episode was, and my jaw was literally on the floor at how exaggerated the story was presented. Basically, the dad discovers a joint in the laundry (correct me if I'm wrong), and instantly starts eyeballing every one of his children. He becomes so paranoid and mistrusting that it's ridiculous. When he sees that Matt is eating more than two or three cookies, the camera zooms in on his sweaty, worried face. Why, Matt must have (gasp!) THE MUNCHIES! Dun, dun, DUN! Then one of the girls is acting tired. Why, she must be (gasp) HIGH! Dun, dun, DUN!! I mean, come ON! He even suspects Ruthie, who was probably 6-years-old at the time. Talk about overreacting. So anyway, the dad drags his wife into the bedroom and they discuss who might have brought the joint home. "Did you see Matt wolfing down those cookies? That's a sure-fire sign of (gasp!) THE MUNCHIES!" the dad whispers, afraid that his Christian neighbors will hear him. We then learn that the wife smoked some pot in college, and the dad literally freaks out. He comes this close to disowning his wife because she hit a couple of doobies when she was younger. Yes, God forbid someone does drugs when they're in college. I say, anyone who smokes weed is evil. EVIL, ya hear me?! So the dad puts the joint in his dresser drawer for safe keeping, and minutes later one of his daughters finds it while looking for something to wear. GASP! She thinks her parents are smoking the wacky weed! Ah, the wackiness that comes with family sitcoms. The show draws to a close when it is discovered that Matt had the joint, which leads to him running off somewhere. The mom and dad search the town only to find that he is praying in church. That's right, he's praying to God and spilling his guts about how he was just "holding" the joint for a friend. Uh, RIGHT. The credits roll after the mom and dad embrace their tearful son, a lesson learned by all. In short, GAG ME. Other issues discussed by Seventh Heaven include: listening to rap music is BAD, having sex is BAD, etc. Sheesh, whatever happened to just running a regular episode? Does every single show have to bery Very Special? Blech. I say this show be canned before the writers create an episode where Simon learns about the evils of homosexuality via a sinister uncle character. 0/4 stars

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34 out of 53 people found the following review useful:

Yeuch

1/10
Author: The_Crys from Greece
23 July 2007

No, really, that about sums up my opinion of this show, but I guess I'll elaborate.

I'm so sick and tired of these so-called 'morality' shows. If I had kids and wanted to teach them a thing or two about life, I'd tell them to read a friggin' book or ten, not subject themselves to this mind-numbing piece of steaming crap.

I've noticed most people who defend this show are Christians, and as much as I'd love to do some well-placed bashing, I won't, because I happen to have a lot of friends who are Christians and yet laugh themselves silly at the idiocy that is "7th Heaven". Kids who ask their parents permission to have sex? Daughters who ask their mother to find them someone to date? Are we living in the same planet here? Let us please refrain from extremities... Things in life aren't all black and white. The way this show presents it, you're only a nice person if you believe in a personal god, NEVER touch alcohol, NEVER swear, NEVER smoke, and --of course- have sex only after you marry. Everyone else is scum and should either revert to the 'righteous path' or burn in Christian hell. Can ya scream "Get off your high horse?" To add insult to injury, this show isn't even worth your attention despite the forced-upon morality. The plots are recycled and uninspired, the characters are two-dimensional cardboard cut-outs, and the writing is horrid and contrived.

And to all those people who defend this show by saying that it teaches kids a thing or two when compared to other shows... F*** that. Since when did mediocrity, denial, misogyny, propaganda and bigotry become good examples for your children?

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19 out of 26 people found the following review useful:

So this is a "normal" family?

Author: Shannon from United States
4 July 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

If this show is supposed to set the bar for what a normal family is like, then we're all screwed.

The tagline is "You can relate", but I don't know of anyone that can relate to anything on this show. This family has the most unrealistic problems I've ever seen on TV. In fact, the characters themselves are the most unrealistic I've ever seen. No one is that good and moral all the time, even if their father is a minister. The creators basically took the most bland, boring people and exaggerated their characteristics.

We have the 'all-knowing father'(is the WB trying to tell us something?)that is ALWAYS right. Always. The kids may contest, but father knows best. He has the best judgment out of everyone on the planet, and apparently, no flaws whatsoever. Except that he follows his children EVERYWHERE, and makes everyone's business his own. Oh, but he's only trying to help.

Then there's the "super mom" who can do everything. The show is so PC that she is the one that's the family handyman(gag). Apparently, she can also fix any situation(premarital sex, alcoholism, terrorism) with a heart to heart chat and a reassuring smile. Mmmmm....that's love.

Then there are the kids. The oldest all knowing brother(with no balls), the good-girl turned bad-girl sister, the sister with no other personality trait but whining and complaining, the blonde brother who at 28 is still sharing a room with his little sister, and the second youngest,and somehow smartest member of the family, sister that hasn't yet been told she's adopted. Oh, and the twins, that no one has realized are mentally retarded.

Said family traipses through generic "troubles" for an hour, but everything is resolved (always in a sappy way), no matter how bad the situation. The end. How the creators can believe that anyone anywhere relates to this family is beyond me. Some of the situations these people get into are so beyond ridiculous that you laugh instead of empathize. And that just makes for awkward television.

Like the episode where Ruthie(no older than 6)wears a hat in class. Her teacher tells her to take it off, Ruthie doesn't listen, the teacher takes this as meaning Ruthie will be in a gang when she gets older, and takes the opportunity to discuss this with Ruthie's parents. WHAT?! Who would ever think that about a 6 year old little girl just because she's wearing a hat?

Or the episode where Simon starts to hang out with a group of skater kids. Older bro Matt comes to his rescue (did he need to be rescued?)and tells him he shouldn't be hanging out with "those kind of people".

Basically the show is telling us that the Camdens are what you and your family should be like. When anyone threatens this perfectness, attack immediately, and don't let them burst the bubble of reality that you live in. The show is actually quite offensive if you think about it. It's saying, these Camdens(who are flippin' crazy)are the model of what is good and moral. Anyone who dresses funny, has a tattoo, smokes cigarettes, or does anything even remotely scandalous, is bad and completely non-redeemable. Don't speak to them; they'll only try to make you one of them. The Camden's know best because they have God on their side.

For the sake of everyone's sanity, end the show. It's beyond repair. Even Momma Cam's heart to hearts can't fix it anymore.

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16 out of 23 people found the following review useful:

Not 7th Heaven.....Self Rightious Heaven...That's It!!

Author: marleymom-2
20 July 2001

That should be the real title for this nauseating ensamble of morality and christianity. Occasionally I watch this show for the same reason I look at a car crash. Human nature, you know, things that repulse us sometimes draw us in. From the semi-slutty Mary flirting with the dangers of POT SMOKING. To the middle "bug eyed" daughter who looks like a space alien and can't stop tossing her hair. And the little girl with the curly hair doesn't look like anyone in the family. Did the mailman give Mr Pastorman a break from his procreating duties? Who knows!! What we do know is, here is a family that can do no wrong while the whole world goes to hell around them. And why the f*** can't they just call grandpa, GRANDPA, and not COLONOL???

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16 out of 24 people found the following review useful:

Dramatic and Enlightening? Try Maudlin and Didactic

1/10
Author: normloman from United States
17 October 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I think the creators of "7th Heaven" really need to look up the definition of Didactic.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that a TV episode ought to have something to say. A message or theme perhaps. Now 7th heaven tries very hard to do this. Each episode ends with some kind of very special lesson that everyone learns. But that's my problem with the show. If you have something to say on TV, don't tell us with your voice. Show it to us with your story. That is one power of story telling - to teach us by drawing us into an experience where we can explore ideas and grow.

What I'm saying is, 7th heaven is too preachy. They don't even try to work on the whole story. They just concentrate on getting their message across. But the medium that this message travels upon is just as important as the message itself and that's where the show falls short. Instead of being presented with a real family we get robotic stereotypes who only exist to communicate a frank moral. It's just hard to believe the shows message when the characters are unrealistic (they have 5 year old kids on the show that talk like they are at a theological seminary. And the adult characters - their behavior is so predictable, and their emotions so ingenuine.) and the story lines are too sensational to speak to the human condition (I remember one episode where every character had to have an addiction to something. Even the little girl was addicted to chewing gum or something. The moral: Addictions are bad. *o rly? no wai!*...).

I would like to see this show start making real art. Mabey make some real characters next time. And try not to make their preachy morals so obvious. If you want to communicate and idea or a value to someone, you cant tell them. People don't want to be told things. You have to connect with them, and share an experience. This pathetic, maudlin excuse for a show just cant seem to do this, and thats why I'm rating this show a 1.

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12 out of 17 people found the following review useful:

Horrid

Author: xxxxbrokenheartxxxx from USA
24 October 2004

I hate this show. It's not entertaining at all. All the people do is complain about how hard their lives are and then in the end, everything is okay because, alas, they have each other. Puh-lease. It's like watching a stereotype on TV. I once watched an episode where a guy was talking to Lucy and she called him a "pimp." When Ruthie asked what a pimp was, Lucy replied that a pimp "is someone who hates women." Uh...how about no. This whole show sucks. Plus, the dad cries in just about every episode. It gives me a headache just thinking about it. Ruthie is an annoying little brat who's so conceited, it's sick. Lucy is an obsessive, smart aleck, low grade cow. Matt is so naive, I don't think it's healthy. Simon is a pushy, try-too-hard jerk. Mary was so full of herself. The parents are totally clueless. I think it's pretty sad when the best actor on the show is the dog.

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39 out of 71 people found the following review useful:

Pray for something better.

Author: Pepper Anne from Orlando, Florida
22 March 2004

7th Heaven is one of the pinnacles of insipid shows. I don't think it started out that way, usually emphasizing some meaningful point here and again about common issues, though mostly concerning a long line of teen and parenting issues from the very benign (teen dating) to most severe (eating disorders) in addition to other vital topics such as hate crimes. However, as the years went on, 7th Heaven fell victim to the vapid nonsense themes that plagues most of the WB's teen-based dramas.

7th Heaven, for those who have never seen it, is basically about the Camden family. Eric, a minister, lives with his wife and what used to be only five kids--though that number has become indefinite as people move in and out and more surprise pregnancies occur to try to comepensate for boring storylines. So, basically, it's just a show dealing with various family crises that arise.

I never thought of the show as much of a role model for young girls, who seem to be a large part of the show's audience, particularly because of the young teen cast (i.e. Barry Watson, David Gallagher, and others). And the show fails as a model for young girls because it either never did, or at one point ceased to address anything valid as far as female independence, intelligence, and the like. Especially in being that every episode eventually became to depict the daughter's as always eagerly in search of dates and nothing else. Mary, the oldest daughter, wanted to get married. Then, it was Lucy (perhaps the most vapid character of all, next to the youngest daughter. Even while at work, the female cop friend of what would soon be Lucy's husband, also a cop, would spend most of their time talking about their love lives and not much else. And though not as drastic as other television dramas such as FOX's The O.C., which seems lax on it's portrayal of rampant teen sex, nearly every female character on 7th Heaven suddenly became a stereotypical boy-toy type of character while the male characters, though also lacking any substantive value, were written to be the more interesting of the characters, nonetheless.

As the years went on, the show became terribly less interesting as the characters had less to offer and as the writers kept trying to pull a magic rabbit out of their hat, seeking to hype what was sooned to be revealed as stupid plotlines in an effort to reinvigorate whatever it was the show once had that made it decent to begin with. It think the show has been around far too long and is running out of steam. But, I suppose to make up for that, they'll write another pregranancy into the story (to make yet another couple of annoying characters that you have pay attention to).

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51 out of 95 people found the following review useful:

Beyond belief

1/10
Author: Mattias Petersson from Stockholm, Sweden
13 May 2006

I saw this on afternoon TV a while ago and i sat the whole show with my mouth open with disbelief. From the theme song to the styled kids and the cutesy acting this has got to be some of the most awful television i have ever seen.

The most surprising thing i guess is that this is even shown on television outside of America. I guess there are parts of the world where this would still qualify as entertainment, but i have purposely kept myself very far from those parts. Besides being moralizing garbage this also has some of the most unbelievably shallow characters i have ever seen. Just looking at them tickles my gag reflex. I mean, what's up with that little girl? She's like six years old, wearing a ton of makeup looking constantly like she's the star of an ad for toothpaste.

This was seriously awful stuff. Heavy-handed medieval Christian morals packaged into a family-oriented afternoon entertainment format. Seeing that this show actually ran for ten years is... beyond belief. Seeing this i wonder what the shows are like that never even make it outside America.

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8 out of 10 people found the following review useful:

Not Exactly Mad About It

Author: Rick Blaine from London
3 December 2005

Incomprehensible that BH was a supervising producer on Mad About You. And I liked SC in Jumping Jack Flash. But what could one have known?

You know, I sort of like the Horst Wessel song. It has a subtle ring to it. And not to forget Wagner: the way Rikard puts those sevenths (no pun intended) on the bottom. Majestic stuff.

But I know where tripe like this leads. And I am aware this kind of trash could only work in one place. And we all know where that is.

The Land of Intelligent Design.

Does it get ratings? That's what's scary. And add to an already volatile mix the incomparable ASHLEE and you have the ultimate formula.

Be nice to the rest of us: shun this travesty.

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13 out of 20 people found the following review useful:

I had to comment..

1/10
Author: jurajkopsa from Croatia
29 December 2008

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I know - it's so sorry to comment a series after it's of the air for like 10 years, but I have decided last week I will give it a try for two or three episodes, and I didn't make it... I made it through two and a half, and tried not to throw everything in my reach into the screen. They should pass out insulin with this over sweetened piece of crap... I'm feeling sorry for the American people that are judged in the rest of the world on the basis of shows like this one... On the other hand - I'm sure there are trailer parks over there, where this one was a blockbuster. The only positive thing that I have heard about this show, is that Jessica Biel is in it - didn't see anything interesting in the episodes I was watching, and probably it will stay that way, because I don't think it's worth it...

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