In a future where the polar ice-caps have melted and Earth is almost entirely submerged, a mutated mariner fights starvation and outlaw "smokers," and reluctantly helps a woman and a young girl try to find dry land.
The polar ice caps have melted, and the earth is covered by water. The remaining people travel the seas, in search of survival. Several different societies exist. The Mariner falls from his customary and solitary existence into having to care for a woman and a young girl while being pursued by the evil forces of the Deacon. Written by
Robbie Smith <email@example.com>
2) Replace Mel Gibson with Kevin Costner (which would be about like removing Errol Flynn from "Robin Hood" and replacing him with... well, Kevin Costner).
3) Give the Feral Kid a sex change operation and some manners, taking care to swap his lethal boomerang for a box of crayons.
4) Take the Gyro Captain out of his copter and put him into a balloon.
5) Stir in generous but subtle portions of liberal eco-propaganda: without using the term "global warming," have it understood that the world is flooded because of something awful "the ancients" did.
6) Add a dash of oil by making the villains a marauding gang of oilmongers living in a certain famous oil tanker.
7) Add a simultaneously anti-religious AND anti-technological zest by making sure the villains' leader (Dennis Hopper) has a pseudo-religious name (the Deacon) and gives "sermons" about "progress" and "development."
8) Add a smoky flavor by calling the villains "Smokers," not only because of their use of speedboats and jet-skis, but because of their consumption of cigarettes, which were Clinton's drug menace du jour at the time. (Exactly where these cigarettes come from, in a submerged world where no tobacco grows and paper is viewed with awe, is anybody's guess.)
9) Finally, add a pinch of Oriental spice by having the tattoo-map to Dryland rendered in Asian ideographic characters--another implied rebuff to "evil" Western culture.
10) Set oven temperature to 450 degrees and incinerate $175 million.
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