6.8/10
23,477
145 user 53 critic

Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead (1995)

Five different criminals face imminent death after botching a job quite badly.

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Writer:

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ON DISC
2 wins. See more awards »
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Bernard
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Malt
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Gus
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Storyline

Jimmy the Saint's business is videotaping the terminally-ill, so that they will be around to give 'Afterlife Advice' to their survivors. He hasn't been doing too well lately and has had to turn to loan-sharks to accomodate his failing business, as well as his expensive personal tastes. When an evil gangster-overlord buys up his note and demands a favor of Jimmy, in exchange for the interest that he can't afford, Jimmy capitulates. Jimmy is to scare someone for the gangster-overlord--really rough them up. Without giving too much away (spoiler), the scene goes down badly and Jimmy and his crew all end up with contracts on their heads for their trouble. Written by Tad Dibbern <DIBBERN_D@a1.mscf.upenn.edu>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Protect. Love. Honor. Avenge. See more »

Genres:

Crime | Drama

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for strong graphic violence and language, and for brief images of a sex film | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

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Details

Official Sites:

Country:

Language:

Release Date:

1 December 1995 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Asuntos pendientes antes de morir  »

Filming Locations:

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Box Office

Budget:

$7,000,000 (estimated)

Gross:

$529,766 (USA)
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Company Credits

Production Co:

,  »
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Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

The production began on August 24, 1994 and shot for thirty-four days on over twenty-five interiors and exteriors in and around the city of Denver, Colorado. See more »

Goofs

When Jimmy The Saint is threatening Lt. Atwater with a baseball bat he's holding it against Atwater's chest and lowers the bat to the ground to lean on it, but in the next shot the bat is back against Lt. Atwater's chest. See more »

Quotes

[Critical Bill is using a corpse as a punching bag]
Franchise: Critical Bill, man, what the fuck are you doing?
Critical Bill: Working out, it's not bothering him much.
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Connections

Referenced in V.I.P.: What to Do with Vallery When You're Dead (1998) See more »

Soundtracks

Jockey Full Of Bourbon
Performed by Tom Waits
Written by Tom Waits
Courtesy of Islands Records Ltd.
By Arrangement with PolyGram Film & TV Licensing
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Frequently Asked Questions

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User Reviews

 
Godawful garbage...
16 March 1999 | by (Los Angeles) – See all my reviews

I'm completely stunned by the amount of praise people seem to be lavishing on this turkey. It's awful. It makes little sense. And worst of all, it's not even a 'fun-derivative' movie, a la the John Sayles-type of exploitation films of the late '70's, early '80's.

Ex-low life (now nicknamed "Jimmy the Saint") Andy Garcia plans 'one final job' for mobster Christopher Walken. For reasons that make absolutely no sense, he gets a bunch of idiotic misfits to help him. These sub-criminals are put together by the screenwriter for the sole purpose of having the viewer watch people yell and scream at each other. For instance, the black guy doesn't want to work with Treat Williams because he heard that Treat was a 'fecal eater' (a fact that doesn't exactly advance the plot) in prison. So for more minutes than we need, we see yelling and shouting about this.

The job gets botched because...if it didn't, there would be no movie. Walken tells Garcia that his crew will now be -- get this -- "buckwheats." What are 'buckwheats' you may ask? Good question. As narrator Jack Warden (who inexplicably spends the entire movie telling us poor viewers what's going on from inside the malt shop Garcia is prone to visit)explains it, 'buckwheats' means that you will die in a most painful way. Ooooh! The rest of the film deals with Garcia trying to get his brain-dead crew to leave town. He offers them plane tickets to exotic locations. No one accepts these tickets because...well, if they did, the filmmakers wouldn't be able to show us the various ways these people get tortured and killed by assassain Steve (have they made a movie without me yet?) Buscemi.

Lotsa wannabe hip dialogue is peppered throughout this movie in an obvious attempt to ape Tarantino. The only problem is, the dialogue doesn't make a lot of sense without Jack Warden to explain it all. A complete waste of time.

On scale of 1 to 10, give this one a 1...and that's being generous.


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