Palmer Strickland: Nero.
Lenny Nero: Strickland.
Palmer Strickland: Comissioner Strickland!
Lenny Nero: See, since you shit-canned my career, I don't even have to call you sir. One of life's small pleasures.
Talk radio host: Now, just so the, the rest of us know how much time is left, when is the rapture supposed to hit exactly? Is it midnight New Year's Eve?
Lori: That's right.
Talk radio host: Aha. Is that midnight L.A. time or, or Eastern Standard Time, or what? I mean, what timezone is God in anyway?
Lenny: Have you ever been in love with someone who didn't return that love?
Mace: Yeah, Lenny, I have.
Lenny: It didn't stop you from loving them, right? Or being able to understand them or forgive them?
Mace: I guess.
Strickland: You're a disappointment, Nero. But you know what disappoints me more?
Lenny Nero: Your sex life?
Jeriko One: You know what? You've pulled over the wrong black man, Officer Steckler! I'm the 800 pound gorilla in your mist, fucker! I make more money in a day than you make in a whole year! And my lawyer loves sending sorryass Aryan RoboCop fuckers like you to jail!
Jeriko One: You're gonna be in my next song. It's called "RoboSteckler." It's about a cop who met his worst nightmare: a nigga with enough political juice to squash your ass like a stinkbug! You gonna be famous, fucker!
Jeriko One: You love that red, white, and blue, but you hate that black, black, black.
Max: Cheer up. The world's about to end in ten minutes anyway.
Max: Only he doesn't know about me and Faith. So I say to myself, if I turn the job down, he just gets somebody else. And I lose Faith... to coin a phrase. So to buy time, I do the skank. I still gotta do something about Tran... I figure it's him or me... but I can't cap him without a chump to take the fall. And who better than his girlfriend's loser ex-boyfriend... a known criminal... who has been seen hassling them in public numerous times.
Lenny Nero: And who was, regrettably, also your best fucking friend.
Max: No plan is perfect, Lenny. Hey, cheer up. World's gonna end in ten minutes anyway.
Lenny Nero: This is not like "TV-only-better"... this is life.
Lenny Nero: See... I can get you what you want, I can. I can get you anything, you just have to talk to me, you have to trust me. You can trust me, 'cause I'm your priest, I'm your shrink... I am you main connection to the switchboard of he soul. I'm the magic man... Santa Claus of the subconscious. You say it, you think it, you can have it.
Lenny Nero: This tie cost more than your entire wardrobe... it's the one thing that stands between me and the jungle.
Lenny Nero: Two million years of human evolution and that's the best idea you can come up with.
Lenny Nero: Look... everyone needs to take a walk to the dark end of the street sometimes, it's what we are.
Lenny Nero: Bullet-resistant? What ever happened to bullet-proof?
Max: He's still workin' the party... actin' smooth like nothin's nothin'.
Lenny Nero: This is what we laughingly refer to as a plan, right?
Mace: This is your life, right here, right now! It's real-time, you hear me, real time! Time to get real, not playback. You understand me?
Faith: I like the feeling of someone watching me.
Tick: One man's mundane and desperate existence is another man's Technicolor.
Lenny: I am the magic man. I am your link to the subconscious. I have what you want. I can get you what you can't have.
Mace: Memories are meant to fade. They're designed that way for a reason.
Philo Gant: Paranoia is just reality on a finer scale.
Lenny: His ass is so tight, when he farts only dogs can hear it.
Max: The issue's not whether you're paranoid, Lenny, I mean look at this shit, the issue is whether you're paranoid enough.
Philo: The only time a whore should open her mouth is when she is giving head.
Faith Justin: You know one of the ways movies are still better than playback? The music comes up, there's credits, and you always know when it's over.
[turns to look at Lenny]
Faith Justin: IT'S OVER!
Lenny Nero: Right now his frontal lobes are like two runny eggs.
Max Peltier: You put that thing on the 11 o'clock news and by midnight you'll have the biggest riot in history. They'll see the smoke from Canada.
Max Peltier: The issue isn't whether you're paranoid, but whether you're paranoid enough.
Mace: I can't believe you had to give them the damn tape.
Lenny Nero: Yeah I know. It was one of my favorites: me and Faith in the hot tub on my birthday.
[Lenny takes the actual tape out of his jacket]
Lenny Nero: Are we impressed yet?
Mace: Yeah... pretty impressed.
Faith: You wanna watch or you gonna do?
Jeriko One: [during introduction to his music video] You make me think I did this to myself. But the drugs' I smoke and the guns' I tote came from your shelf.
Lenny Nero: [while immersed in a virtual reality session]
Lenny Nero: Oooh... a little B&E action.
Lenny Nero: [car has been riddled with bullets; antagonists are about to incinerate the vehicle]
[with cell phone in hand]
Lenny Nero: 911 is busy!
Faith: Jesus Lenny, you scared the fuck out of me!
Lenny Nero: [to a SQUID-recording-newbie] I can use this, it's not bad, but, listen honey, you've got to move your eyes slower next time, much much slower. Like... like you're making love with your eyes, ok?
Mace: Hey, Lenny, we made it!
Lenny Nero: Yea, we did.
Mace: You should get going.
Lenny Nero: Yea, see you downtown.
Mace: See you there.
Mace: You're some piece of work, Lenny Nero. You're just calmly backstroking along in the big toilet bowl and somehow you never let it touch you. I mean, between working vice and your current so-called occupation, you must have seen every kind of perversion. But you're just like... some teflon man, you still come out this goofball romantic.
Lenny Nero: It's my sword and my shield, Mace.
Mace: Are we still friends?
Lenny Nero: I don't know Lenny. You see, friendship is more than one person constantly doing favors for the another.
Lenny: When I met Faith, she was just another runaway, giving twenty dollar blowjobs to buy crack. Just another lost soul. But she had this voice... it was scary, like she could take all the hurt and rage of the entire world and lift it up to Heaven in one voice. I helped her. And I promised her I'd always just be there, to protect her. See, it's not about what's in her head, it's what's in mine. I can't let go of the promise. It's like it's all I have left.