Sharpe's Sword (1995 TV Movie)
Colonel Sir Henry Simmerson: What's it to you priest? You hate the British!
Father Curtis: I'm Irish. John Bull's a bad neighbour, but Bonaparte's a bully, and so are you!
Richard Sharpe: [Leroux claims he can't speak English] See if you understand this, on the count of three I'm gonna kick you in the crotch!
[Munro is playing bagpipes from inside his tent. Sharpe talks to a Highland soldier guarding the entrance]
Richard Sharpe: How can you stand it?
[the soldier shakes his head, not understanding]
Richard Sharpe: [yelling] How can you stand it?
[the soldier grins and takes a ball of cotton wool out of his ear]
Richard Sharpe: Have a word with you, Harper! What's this between you and Ramona?
Patrick Harper: She's not talking to me.
Richard Sharpe: Well what have you done to her?
Patrick Harper: Nothing!
Richard Sharpe: Well whatever it is you're not doing. go and do it!
Patrick Harper: [stands up] That's not your business!
Richard Sharpe: Whatever business it is, get it sorted out
[puts his laundry in Harper's hands]
Patrick Harper: If that means I'm going to wash and clean your tunics, well, I'm not!
[puts the laundry in Sharpe's hands]
Richard Sharpe: Well I'm not!
[puts his laundry back into Harper's hands]
Patrick Harper: Well I'm not!
[throws the clothes on the ground]
Richard Sharpe: [sees that Lass is only wearing her shift] Good God, Lass, go put some clothes on!
Patrick Harper: She hasn't got any clothes.
Richard Sharpe: Well tell Ramona to go get her some, damn you!
Patrick Harper: I asked her! She told me to shag off.
[Harper is wounded]
Patrick Harper: Am I going to die this time, Father?
Father Curtis: Yes, my son. Have you any last wishes?
Patrick Harper: I wish I'd married Ramona, Father.
Father Curtis: I can grant you that before you go. Quickly, now. Do you Patrick Harper take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife? Say "I do!"
Patrick Harper: I do.
Father Curtis: Do you Ramona Gonzales take this man to be your husband? Say "I do!"
Ramona: I do.
Father Curtis: I now pronounce you man and wife. Now, get up and kiss the bride.
Patrick Harper: I thought you said I was going to die, Father!
Father Curtis: Sure, we're ALL going to die, Patrick.
Richard Sharpe: Take my advice, Harris. When you get home, write a bloody good book with loads of shooting in it. You'll die a rich man.
Rifleman Hagman: Permission to speak sir?
Rifleman Hagman: [hands Sharpe a bundle from his pocket] Best brown paper and paraffin oil, it's for your wound.
Richard Sharpe: Thank you Hagman.
Lord Jack Spears: I suppose they'll shoot me?
Richard Sharpe: I suppose so.
Lord Jack Spears: I didn't do it for the money Richard. Though it would have been damned useful.
Richard Sharpe: So why did you do it Jack?
Lord Jack Spears: Courage. It's like the King's Shilling, Richard. Some soldiers save it, some soldiers spend it all in one day. I told you my life was saved by a French doctor. Well the doctor was Colonel Leroux, and he saved my life simply by virtue of the fact that he stopped torturing me before I died. And I just couldn't stand it anymore. See I had spent the whole coin of courage. And then he made me sign some papers, betraying my honour, and the honour of a lady I once loved. And I could not let him use that, so I became his spy, ridiculous as this sounds to you Richard.
Major Mungo Munro: [he has just finished a bagpipe solo] Which would you prefer me to do, Sharpe? Play Beallagh na Bruga, that's the Munro march... or send you on a dangerous mission?
Richard Sharpe: Dangerous mission, sir.
Major Mungo Munro: Who's winning the war, Sharpe?
Richard Sharpe: Wellington, sir.
Major Mungo Munro: Why's he winning it, Sharpe?
Richard Sharpe: Steady troops, sir.
Major Mungo Munro: Superior intelligence, Sharpe. Supplied by whom, laddie?
Richard Sharpe: Men like you, sir.
Major Mungo Munro: [disgusted:] Och, don't *lick* me, laddie!
Lord Jack Spears: [charges for the French] Up and at 'em, boys, up and at 'em!
Patrick Harper: Silly bugger!
Richard Sharpe: Aye, brave silly bugger though. Let's give him a hand before he gets killed.
Lord Jack Spears: Ain't you the Simmerson that lost the King's Colours?
Colonel Sir Henry Simmerson: There was a full inquiry my lord, I was completely exonerated. Allow me to shake you by the hand my lord.
Lord Jack Spears: Ah, so you didn't lose them, you misplaced them. As it seems you have the most unfortunate habit of losing things, I think I'll hold onto me one good hand.
Colonel Berkeley: [Leroux breaks for it] He breaks his parole, and kills an eighteen year old boy!
Richard Sharpe: Don't worry sir, we'll go in and get him tomorrow.
Colonel Berkeley: Tomorrow! I'm going in tonight, Sharpe! I want to see that bastard dead by dawn.
Father Curtis: Irish?
Patrick Harper: Indeed I am.
Father Curtis: Then you'll serve Mass on Sunday.
[Harper's face falls, much to the riflemen's amusement]
Sgt. Connelly: [watching over a British soldier who is dying of his wounds] Die easy boy. Don't delay: do it now.
Patrick Harper: There must be something you can do for him, Father!
Father Curtis: I'm a priest: I pray for him.
Patrick Harper: Is that the best you can do for him?
Father Curtis: If he were a dog, I'd shoot him. But God in his mercy is sending him a fever: soon he'll feel nothing. He'll be dead by dawn.
Colonel Leroux: It will be a pleasure to kill you Mister Sharpe. Really.
[asked why he, an Irishman, spies on the French for the British]
Father Curtis: I think the theological reasoning would bore you, Sharpe...