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The Quick and the Dead (1995) Poster

Quotes

Kid: No no no no, you see it's a gun fight. We both have guns. We aim, we fire, you die.

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Scars: I need a woman.

Ellen: You need a bath.

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Kid: I'm so damned fast I can wake up at the crack of dawn, rob two banks, a train and a stage coach, shoot the tail feathers off a duck's ass at 300 feet, and still be back in bed before you wake up next to me.

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Ellen: [female gunslinger walks up behind a preoccupied bartender] How about a room?

Horace: Whores next door.

Ellen: [carefully sets her cigar down] Say that again.

Horace: I said whores next door.

Ellen: [kicks the stool out from under him, catches his liquor bottle as he falls, & pours herself a drink] Now, do you have a room available?

Horace: Uh, room and bath, yes, ma'am, coming up!

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Cort: Last night, The Kid. Tonight, Herod. You're a busy woman. Any man in this town you're not interested in?

Ellen: Yeah. You.

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Scars: You're purty.

Ellen: You're not.

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Cort: There's a click before the strike. Listen to the clock.

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John Herod: Like I always say - put a fox in the henhouse and you'll have chicken for dinner every time.

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Cantrell: Sergeant Cantrell.

Shemp: How do you spell that?

Cantrell: Correctly.

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John Herod: I was married to a beautiful woman. She was unfaithful.

Ellen: Where is she now?

John Herod: I told you, she was unfaithful.

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Kid: Want some breakfast? Or, uh, how 'bout a little of what we had last night?

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Kid: The Smith and Wesson Schofield .45. Just meat and potatoes. Me and Jesse James think it's the best handgun in the world. Had the trigger guard removed, it saves drawin' time. Don't ever wear it when you're drunk, or you'll kill your feet.

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Kid: Is it possible? Is it possible to improve on _perfection_?

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Ace Hanlon: You wanna play poker with me, little lady?

Ellen: Looks like you're having a pretty good time playing with yourself.

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Ellen: In case you forgot, Preacher, I saved your life last night.

Cort: No, I think you just stretched it out a bit. I might've even gone to heaven if you'd let me die.

Ellen: Sorry.

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Ellen: Don't you even want to fight back?

Cort: Sure. I'd like to kill them all for what they've done. But I won't. Killing people is wrong.

Ellen: Some people deserve to die.

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John Herod: Mr. Hanlon, I wanted to ask you about Indian Wells. Did that fight really take place?

Ace Hanlon: It sure did.

John Herod: And it's true that you gunned down four men?

Ace Hanlon: Two with my left hand. Two with my right hand. You see, the truth is that I am just as good with either.

John Herod: You must be the fastest gun in the west... That, or the biggest liar.

Ace Hanlon: It's a pity you weren't there to find out.

John Herod: [laughter] Oh, but I was, Ace. You see, I was the one that really killed the Terrence brothers, and I doubt if a lying little chickenshit like you was even in the same state.

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Kid: [after being shot in a gunfight by Herod] Shit, that was fast!

[Falls to the ground]

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John Herod: You're not fast enough for me!

Ellen: Today I am.

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Kid: Am I fast, or is Sweden just a very small place?

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Kid: I'm worth $3,000 in four states. Seventy-five offenses and no convictions. My name's Fee but, uh... everyone calls me the Kid.

Ellen: Congratulations.

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Blind Boy: John Herod owns that house. He gets fifty cents of every dollar in this town.

Ellen: What's the town get?

Blind Boy: Huh... they gets to live.

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John Herod: All I hear from you, you spineless cowards, is how poor you are; how you can't afford my taxes. Yet somehow, you managed to find the money to hire a gunfighter to kill me. If ya got so much money, I'm just gonna have to take some more. Because clearly some of you haven't got the message! This is my town! I run everything! If you live to see the dawn, it's because I allow it! I decide who lives and who dies!

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John Herod: I said, are you still fast?

Cort: Faster than you.

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Cort: [after killing all of Herod's henchmen] Sorry, John. Changed the rules. From now on, all the fights are fair.

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John Herod: You must be the fastest gun in the west. That or the biggest liar!

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Ratsy: And that concludes the lesson for today.

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John Herod: I could give you more money than you could ever spend.

Ellen: I wouldn't feel like I'd earned it.

John Herod: [Knowingly] Oh yes, you would.

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Ellen: Some people deserve to die.

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Kid: Is it possible? Is it possible to improve on perfection?

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Kid: The gunfight is in the head, not the hands.

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John Herod: Like I always say - put a fox in the henhouse and you'll have chicken for dinner every time.

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Ellen: [after Herod accepts the Kid's challenge] You would fight your own son? I'm gonna kill you if I have to ride all the way to Hell to do it.

John Herod: Do you have some particular problem with me?

Ellen: I'll let you know.

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Townsman: We're gonna have to bury this old man deep. He stinks something awful.

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Ace Hanlon: [Holding a card deck] This is a very special pack. See, I put an ace in every time I kill a man.

[Shows it and its all aces]

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John Herod: Your gunfighter's dead. Old news.

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Ellen: You stole my life.

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Kid: Am I fast, or is Sweden just a very small place? Tell me now!

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Kid: And this, this is the best help a man could get. The Smith and Wesson Schofield .45. Just meat and potatoes. Me and Jesse James think it's the best handgun in the world. Had the trigger guard removed, it saves drawin' time. Don't ever wear it when you're drunk, or you'll kill your feet.

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Kid: Shit, that was fast.

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John Herod: The rules say you have to accept every challenge. You got a problem with that, scuttle your butt out of town.

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John Herod: You must be the fastest gun in the west. That or the biggest liar!

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John Herod: I'm confused. All I hear from you, you spineless cowards, is how poor you are; how you can't afford my taxes, my protection. Yet somehow, you managed to find the money to hire a professional gunfighter to kill me. Where's all this money coming from? What am I to think... If ya got so much to spare, I'm just gonna have to take some more off you. Because clearly you haven't got the message! This is my town! If you live to see the dawn, it's because I allow it! I'm in charge of everything! I decide who lives or who dies! Your gunfighter's dead. Old news.

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Cort: There's a click before the strike. Listen to the clock.

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Cort: Sorry, John. Changed the rules. From now on, all the fights are fair.

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Ellen: How about a room?

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Ellen: Say that again.

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Horace: I said whores next door.

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Ellen: Now, do you have a room available?

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Horace: Uh, room and bath, yes ma'am. Coming up!

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Ellen: Looks like you're having a pretty good time playing with yourself.

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John Herod: [shouting] This is my town! If you live to see the dawn, it's because I allow it. I'm in charge of everything! I decide who lives or who dies!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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