Operation Dumbo Drop (1995)
Capt. T.C. Doyle: You slept with the wife of General "Kill-'em-all-and-let-God-sort-them-out" Richardson?
David Poole: I thought it was his daughter.
Capt. T.C. Doyle: Oh yeah, he would've been fine with that.
Capt. T.C. Doyle: Does anybody else here know how to work an elephant?
Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: I was in love with a fat woman once, but she never listened to me.
Y B'ham: [about Linh] Boy have no family. All killed.
Capt. T.C. Doyle: You mean in the war?
Y B'ham: No, hit by falling star... Yes, in war.
Capt. Sam Cahill: He gave us the best intelligence on the V.C.'s location that we ever got.
Goddard: Well, what can I say? I love America.
[He motions to a framed photo of Lyndon Johnson on his dashboard. Cahill picks it up and flips it over, showing a photo of Ho Chi Minh]
Capt. Sam Cahill: He gave the V.C. their best intelligence on our location, too.
Goddard: What can I say? I love everybody.
Capt. Sam Cahill: What if the NVA isn't the first to come along here? What if it's a bunch of school children walking home? Did you ever think about that? No! Why? Because guys like you don't think things through!
[pokes Doyle in the forehead]
Capt. T.C. Doyle: Me? What about you? You've got six people and an elephant risking their lives so that you can go home with a clear conscience. You're afraid that when you're standing up on that rooftop with your brother in Fort Lauderdale, looking back over your sparkling military career, you're not gonna like what you see! So you want to do one good thing before you go, which is great! But your one good thing isn't pulling a kid out of a burning building, or diving on a grenade, it's THIS! And because it's THIS, it involves us! But you didn't think about that, did you? NO! Why? Because guys like you don't think things through!
[slaps Cahill on the head]
Capt. T.C. Doyle: [upset about their situation on the boat] I should be on a top secret mission with crack commandos but instead, I'm in an episode of McHale's Navy starring Dumbo, Mr. French, and the Three Stooges!
Capt. T.C. Doyle: Poole? Can you get me some more of that water buffalo tranquilizer?
David Poole: Really enjoyed that, didn't you Doyle? Linh was right, you ARE weird.
Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: [Bo-Tat has vomitted on the boat deck] My kids are gonna ask me: "Daddy, what's the worst thing you saw in the war?" After this, there's no contest!
Lt. Quang, NVA: [after refusing to fire] I did not join this army to shoot elephants, especially ones that fly.
Capt. T.C. Doyle: [to Cahill, after the ceremony with Botat] When you're standing on a roof with your brother in Fort Lauderdale, I think you're really gonna enjoy the view.
[as Harvey rushes towards the village to help his comrades, a crow lands in his path]
Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: [scoffs and racks the bolt of his rifle] Bird if I were you, I'd get the hell out of here!
David Poole: Gilman, may I remind you that I have friends who have absolutely no regard for the sanctity of human life? I pick up the phone, I have your head in a bag on my desk tomorrow morning.
David Poole: Deal. And, uh, Gilman? I'd still have somebody taste your food.
[Goddard is singing along to a record of Mozart's "The Magic Flute" - badly]
Capt. Sam Cahill: Is it my ears, or has your singing actually gotten worse?
Goddard: Must be your ears, it was already as bad as it could be!
David Poole: You know something? This country's really beautiful.
Sp5 Lawrence Farley: Yeah. Kind of reminds me of home.
David Poole: [suddenly acid] Oh, really? How exactly does this remind you of home?
Sp5 Lawrence Farley: Well...
David Poole: No, Farley, tell me, what is it? The spirit-crushing humidity? The disease-bearing insects? Or is it that special feeling that comes from the knowledge that at any given moment, a sniper's bullet could come spiralling towards your forehead?
Capt. T.C. Doyle: Poole, where are you going?
David Poole: Saigon!
Capt. T.C. Doyle: Get back here!
Capt. Sam Cahill: Poole, do you want me to call General Richardson?
David Poole: [turns around] Yeah, Cahill! Yeah, I do! Call General Richardson!I'll get him on the phone for you right now! Because I am sick and tired...
[He fumbles with his radio set, then just drops it]
David Poole: That's it! I've had it! I was on a plane that almost crashed, I came this close to being killed by an angry mob, and now look at my uniform! It's covered in elephant crap! So you really think I give a damn whether or not you call General Richardson, and tell him I slept with his wife, huh?
C-123 Crew Chief: [to the troops] Gentleman, I'm responsible for anything that goes in this cargo hold, now if that thing even twitches, you're gonna see an elephant fly.
Capt. Sam Cahill: Y B'ham doesn't stare off into space because he's a wise old soul. He's as blind as a bat!
Y B'ham: Ibham not blind! Ibham can...
[Chaill holds a knife to his neck]
Y B'ham: Ibham is blind.
David Poole: [after Cahill and Doyle's argument almost throws Farley off the bridge] Yep. I'm REAL happy about my decision to stick with you guys.
Lihn: [really upset at the soldiers] You nice American? You think you're Number One? You Number Ten!
Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: [into radio] Request fire mission and expedite. Target coordinates Bravo-Romeo seven-four-five-six-five-seven-two-niner. Fire one marking round.
[as Quang watches through his binoculars, a shell lands just aft of the Marie Antoinette. His crew laughs at the Americans' incompetence]
Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: Barney, that was perfect, man!
Capt. T.C. Doyle: No, it wasn't perfect, it almost hit us! Give him the coordinates...!
Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: Captain, we're moving! Those coordinates should be perfect, right about...
Capt. T.C. Doyle: Better be right...
Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: [into radio] Fire for effect!
Capt. T.C. Doyle: Better be right...
Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: Now.
[Quang looks through his binoculars again, and sees the Americans laughing and waving goodbye]
Lt. Quang, NVA: GET OFF THE BOAT!
[His crew stop laughing and dive overboard just before a shell blows it out of the water]
[as the team prepares to move out, a crow lands in a branch over Harvey's head. He freezes]
Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: Hey, you know what? All of a sudden my legs don't work.
[the team stops in a village, and one of the villagers asks Poole what they need]
David Poole: [in Vietnamese] I need to get to Saigon. These men have kidnapped me.
Capt. Sam Cahill: Poole, I speak the language.
David Poole: [laughs nervously] It was a joke.
Capt. Sam Cahill: Any more joking... I'll call you-know-who.