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Man of the House (1995) Poster

Quotes

Chet Bronski: Well, we're all part of the same tribe.

Jack Sturgess: Right, the Minotauk.

Chet Bronski: No, I'm referring to the emotionally-constipated American male over 40.

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Chet Bronski: [singing] Heyhowaya, Ben! Heyhowaya, Jack!

Jack Sturges: [singing] Fine-thanks-how-are-you?

Chet Bronski: No no, Jack, "Heyhowaya" is the official greeting of the Minotauk.

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Ben Archer: [Ben has to choose an Indian name for Jack] How about... Squatting Dog?

Jack Sturgess: [Jack gives him a surprised look] Squatting Dog? That's the best you could come up with?

Ben Archer: I had a dog once who had a terrible case of the squirts. He was my best friend in the whole world.

Jack Sturgess: Didn't you have any other pets?

Ben Archer: I had a squirrel named Numb Nuts.

Jack Sturgess: [sighs] I think I'll take... Squatting Dog.

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Ben Archer: [as the bad guys are trying to figure out the best way to kill Ben and Jack] If you were really clever, you'd wrap us in wet rawhide, and when it dried it would shrink and squeeze organs through our orifices like a tube of toothpaste.

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Jack Sturgess: [after after sending the troops away so he can face his enemies] That means you too, Ben.

Ben Archer: No way. I'm staying here with you.

Jack Sturgess: You're not staying with me.

Ben Archer: But I can help.

Jack Sturgess: You can be more help by making sure the others get down okay. Now go on. Get out of here. I mean it.

[Ben starts to follow the others]

Jack Sturgess: Ben!

[Ben turns around]

Jack Sturgess: Thanks anyway. I appreciate it.

[Ben nods and walks away]

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Jack Sturgess: Ben, what are you doing here?

Ben Archer: I came back here to help you. What do you think?

Jack Sturgess: I don't need any help.

Ben Archer: [observing the state Jack is in] Oh, really? Then what were you planning to do when those guys found you? Lie there and pretend to be a slug?

Jack Sturgess: Exactly. Now get out of here. You're blowing my cover.

Ben Archer: [struggling to get the tree trunk off Jack's leg] You can't tell me what to do. You're not my father.

Jack Sturgess: [with a groan] I knew you were going to say that eventually.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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