It's My Party (1996)
Monty: [to Amalia] You've lost so much weight! I thought your ass was Jodie Foster's chin!
Andrew Bingham: Dad sends me to church all the time, hoping I'll become straight.
Nick: Catholic church? Good luck!
Nick: Lina and I almost made it once.
Lina Bingham: What?!
Nick: Yeah. We had this electric moment when you said to me, "Why do you have to be gay?" and I said to you, "Me? Why do you have to be a woman?"
Nick: This is for you.
[He hands Monty a bust.]
Monty: For good luck?
Nick: Well, you always wanted me to give you head.
Nick: You look like you caught your balls in your zipper, Dr. Dave.
Charlene: You taught me black was slimming, but, if you insist, one fat pig coming up.
Nick: I might as well have a cigarette. It's not like it's going to kill me, right?
Monty: [Regarding a painting] Look, it's Macauley Culkin throwing up a soft-shell crab!