Tommy: I don't eat shit. It's against my religion.
Pete: What religion is that?
Tommy: The religion of sanity, Peter. You should try it some time.
Pete: I did, but I was excommunicated.
Man with Strange Glasses: Yes, I am smoking cigarettes and some of my friends have died of them, but I am not downing a quart of Scotch in fifteen minutes. Looked at that way, cigarettes are actually a health tool!
Bob: Coffee and cigarettes. That's like the breakfast of champions.
Man with Strange Glasses: I don't know anyone in New York who doesn't say 'I'm leaving'. I've been thinking of leaving New York for... uh... thirty-five years now.
Man with Strange Glasses: I'm scared 24 hours a day, but not necessarily in New York.I actually feel pretty comfortable in New York.I get scared like in Sweden.You know, it's kind of empty. They're all drunk.Everything works.If you, you know... If you stop at a stop light and don't turn your engine off... people come over and talk to you about it.You open the medicine cabinet and there'll be a poster saying..."In case of suicide, call..."