Beastmaster III: The Eye of Braxus (1996 TV Movie)
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I personally like the idea that ferrets and a lion can get on in harmony - but hey I'm an idealist.
The acting is terrible - the story has been done so often that anyone in their basement could probably make a decent job of a copy, but all that said the movie is enjoyable... as long as you take it for what it is!! AND NOTHING MORE!! In many ways it reminds me of movies like Willow and Krull - not huge productions, not great acting but enjoyable all the same.
Quick Review: Man who can command animals' sets off to save his brother (the king) from an evil sorcerer before same can let loose the power of a terrible creature... filled with swords, sorcery and scantily clad people.
Marc Singer looks like 65 something and is still the same stiff actor who tries to drop some "funny" lines from time to time.
On the other hand it's fun to watch just because it's so bad. I give it 3 out of 10. If you want a good laugh I would recommend it.
* * out of 4-(Fair)
This time we discover Dar has a brother King in the form of Casper Van Dien sporting a very hokey blonde wig. This relation gets kidnapped by an evil Lord/sorcerer so its up to Dar with his new sidekick Seth, a witch, errr...a jester guy and a female warrior to rescue him before he's drained of his youthful essence. Yep this evil bad guy is looking for immortality as they all do, popular spell huh.
I think this third film is generally better than the last because its set completely within a fantasy realm. There is no silly portal jumping into our reality which makes the characters look ridiculous, this is all within a nice barren desert fantasy universe. The bad guys are a bit better this time also, sure they look like ancient Greek Spartan warriors but hey it looks cool, its the helmets that do it.
What amazed me is the cast for this thing. Considering this is a straight to the waste bin production the cast is pretty decent...well a decent cast of B-movie regulars anyway. In terms of B-movie trash rankings this film is low and even the B-movie cast they have managed to muster is somewhat above this kind of schlock...usually. David Warner, Tony Todd, Casper Van Dien, Sandra Hess and Patrick Kilpatrick on show here folks.
Yes it all looks awful, the sets are clearly sets, the locations are the same places over and over, the effects are laughable, action is again a kids pantomime and 'acting' is beyond hammy. To be honest I think the slightly bigger names here know its crapola and are just having a good time chewing up scenery. You can see its a TV movie and I think you should know what to expect, but all that aside it can be a good laugh.
I still don't quite know why they ruined the franchise with such low rent sequels which make a mockery of everything the original had but there you go. Plus points are the animals and a nice big rubber monster suit for Dar to battle at the end.
My friends and I have watched quite a few bad movies in our time, but this is the all-time champ of B-movies. Sure, "Plan 9" might suck more, but this one is more fun to watch. And it's also great to see Casper Van Dien in one of his first roles. I recommend this one to any B-movie enthusiast. It is the best. Long live Dar! Shirac!
I can't begin to tell you how bad this movie is. Memorable moments include Dar's Lion buddy, who clearly is too old to do his own stuntwork anymore (Old=not likely to attack the actors) so they employ a lioness to do the scenes where he gets caught in a net. Lion with a mane becomes lioness without one. Hmmm...that's not noticeable at all...no sir!
Suffice to say it's only saving grace is the finale where Dar (Singer) fights some demon lord. Why is this bit the best? Is it action packed? Is it full of great special effects? No. It's the best because it's just so farcical you'll be in stitches with laughter throughout it. The creature is a cross between a teenage mutant turtle and the Papa Dinosaur from the "Dinosaurs" TV series. Comical doesn't even begin to describe how this "evil" demon looks. It has all the menace of a Jim Henson muppet.
Ads if that weren't enough we are also treated to an early performance from Casper van Dien as some supposed king. Yep, that's believable....not. In fact, of all the cast, the only ones who even looked comfortable with their roles were Marc Singer and David Warner (yes, he's the bad guy - no surprise there). The rest were a mixture of woefully bad acting and miscasting.
One other thing of interest. Marc Singer now actually looks like he has spent a lifetime wandering the wilderness with nothing more than a loincloth to protect him from the elements. So that much was realistic.
SUMMARY: Watch it, grit your teeth, then laugh at the dumb finale.
The fantastic array of beasts were extremely lacking, A lion and falcon I can understand, but a weasel? How terribly ferocious.
Even the title of this travesty of a movie was awful. I was led to believe this was some sick fetish film, but even that would have been more enjoyable than this turgid pile of stinking horse manure!
The only merit was the comedy effect of Braxus being lent by the Power Rangers special effects department. I was impressed by the plastic and 'scary' effect that literally had me crapping myself as an excuse to stop watching the film.
It's a shame, too, as a fun cast under and overact amazingly. Marc Singer shows us that he has learned absolutely no new acting skills in the thirteen years since the original. He's also aged quite considerably too, but at 48 years he's still looking as fit and as muscular as ever. Singer gets to team up with black actor Tony Todd, made famous by the CANDYMAN films, although Todd is given little to do apart from beat up the occasional bad guy.
A young Casper Van Dien (SLEEPY HOLLOW) puts in an embarrassing performance as a silly petulant King while a seriously strapped-for-cash Lesley Anne Down embarrasses herself even further as a witch. Also along for the ride is a braindead clown and Singer's animal friends, although somewhat inexplicably his black panther has now turned into a lion. In the baddie contingent, Patrick Kilpatrick lends some cheesy menace while David Warner hams for all he's worth as the chief villain.
You won't believe how bad this film is while you're watching it but at least it's a lot of fun. Amusing bits include a man being attacked by some tentacles, some bad computer effects, and the hilarious finale which has Singer taking on a ridiculous-looking monster designed by the Chiodo Brothers which never looks more than being a man in a rubber suit. You won't believe your eyes. The violence level is low but the cheese level is high in this silly adventure which is absolutely awful but strangely entertaining.
Few complaints beside the main point...
Second part was in the future parallel dimension. OK. This one is apparently first in Egypt or middle east (Casper Van Dien has a Pharaoh-like costume, and camels and people in dresses and shorts (and boxers) are all over the place) and then South America (with the wild pygmy tribe).
As in the first one, people alone and even villages here get ambushed way too much. Didn't they have f-ing outposts in the dark ages? Or eyes for that matter? Surprise attacks are happening all over the place, sometimes simply by bad guys jumping in front of the characters.
And what's the deal with the glasses on that "Albert Einstein" guy? He bought them at his eye doctor's?
Not to forget to mention that apparently all tiger actors and trainers were busy at the time of the filming. Ra was first a black tiger, then a regular tiger and finally a Lion. The cat just can't make up its mind.