U.F.O. (1993)

Roy 'Chubby' Brown: Roy 'Chubby' Brown

Quotes 

• Roy 'Chubby' Brown : Listen mate, the day I pay 50p to get into my own show is the day I show my arse in Woolies' window.

  [cuts to Brown stood in a shop window, with his pants down] 

• Roy 'Chubby' Brown : Go fuck yourself!

  Solo : I just did. We Clitorans are hermaphrodites. We have both sets of sexual organs.

• Audience : [singing]  Who ate all the pies? You ate all the pies! You fat bastard, you fat bastard, you ate all the pies!

  Roy 'Chubby' Brown : Fuck off!

• Roy 'Chubby' Brown : Tell you what mate, when I believe that I'm on a spaceship, I'll eat straw with a donkey!

  [cuts to Brown sat with a donkey in a room full of straw] 

  Roy 'Chubby' Brown : Me and my big fucking mouth.

  [takes a mouthful of straw] 

• Roy 'Chubby' Brown : Pregnant? You're talking out of your arse! How can I be pregnant? I demand a second opinion!

  Doctor : If you insist. You're an ugly bastard as well!

• Roy 'Chubby' Brown : [Chubby has just walked in on Margaret cheating on him with the milkman]  You bitch!

  Milkman : I, I warned her, Chubs! I told her that if she didn't pay her bill, I'd drop my pants and shit on the floor!

  Roy 'Chubby' Brown : You fucking bitch!

  Margaret : It was him, Chubby! He was trying to rape me!

  Roy 'Chubby' Brown : I'm not on about that, you fucking daft cow. I'm on about this!

  [holds up a box of Weetabix] 

  Roy 'Chubby' Brown : You know I only eat Shredded Wheat.