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Threesome (1994) Poster

(1994)

Quotes

Eddie: I wonder how some people could be such a necessary part of one's life one day and simply vanish the next. Isn't it supposed to last?

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Eddie: Solitude brought out the worst in me. It gave me time to brood over the nature of things. I wondered how some people could be such a necessary part of one's life one day, and simply vanish the next. Isn't it supposed to last? We ran into each other at graduation. We had lunch about a year after that. It was nice to see them, but it wasn't like the old days. My college experience wasn't what I had planned. It bore no resemblance to the pictures in the brochure. But I'm not unhappy; I don't think any of us are. We got what we needed out of it. It's kind of like going on a vacation - you plan everything out but one day you make a wrong turn or take a detour, and you end up in some crazy place you can never find on the map, doing something you never thought you'd do. Maybe you feel a little lost while it's happening. But, later, you realize it was the best part of the whole trip

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Stuart: Sex is kinda like pizza. When it's bad, it's still pretty good.

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Alex: You have the hots for me, I have the hots for him, and sooner or later he's gonna have the hots for you.

Eddie: Sounds pretty hot to me.

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Eddie: If Alex and Stuart were genetically merged into one person, he or she would've been the love of my life.

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Alex: Oh, I am so sick of this shit, it's not NORMAL! It's not NORMAL the three of us LIVING TOGETHER! I am so sick of falling for guys who don't give a fuck about me! I need help! I need a facial! I need to go on a diet! I need money! I need new shoes! Oh, God, just do something!

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Alex: I find libraries very erotic.

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Stuart: How did we get on the ceiling?

Eddie: Did you pay the gravity bill this morning?

Stuart: I forgot!

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Alex: If you eat my yogurt again, I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna fucking kill you.

Stuart: You make murder sound so sexual, Alex.

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Stuart: Straight sex is better than gay sex, it's written in the Bible.

Alex: Is that in the King James or the New World Edition?

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Alex: If you're so hot on the idea, why don't you have sex with him?

Stuart: Taste of semen makes me gag.

Alex: How would you know? Whose semen were you eating?

Stuart: My own.

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Stuart: Why didn't you just fuck her?

Eddie: Yeah, right!

Stuart: Eddy, the girl was ripping your pants off with her teeth. She's in the perfect position, at least get a blowjob!

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Stuart: I'm telling you. If you don't have sex soon, you dick is going to shrivel up and go inside your body. Then what do you have? A vagina.

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Alex: What are you doing in here?

Eddie: Our room has a foul and mysterious odor.

Alex: So clean it, you used to be a clean person.

Eddie: That was before I moved in with him. I used to make hospital corners, now I don't even change the sheets

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[On Catcher In The Rye]

Stuart: It's a great book, you're going to love it.

Alex: I've read it four times.

Stuart: I've often felt like the main character, Holden Caulfield...

Eddie: No, no, he's Stradlater, the obnoxious room-mate who thinks he's it.

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Eddie: Pandora's proverbial box had been opened, and what's more, none of us were sure that we wanted it closed again.

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[after the guys meet Alex, she storms out, slamming the door]

Stuart: Wow, she's amazing. Truly amazing.

[sings]

Stuart: Amaaaaazing grace...

Eddie: It's not Grace, it's Alex.

Stuart: [sings] Amaaaaazing Alex...

[Eddie hits Stuart in the face with a football]

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Eddie: Gay sex, by definition, is better than straight sex.

Stuart: Get the fuck outta here! I would love to hear this.

Eddie: If you have male genitalia and you're sleeping with someone who also has male genitalia, then you have first-hand knowledge of how their equipment works. You know all the pressure-sensitive points. You know what buttons to push. If you're a man having sex with a woman or vice-versa, you never really know how they feel. You don't know if they really feel great or if they're just faking it.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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