In the future, corporations have taken over the world and banned sex. A group of rebellious high school students devise a way to go back in time to the present day and try change history to...
See full summary »
An intergalactic babe borrows her dad's T-bird ship to do a little planet-hopping with her two friends, but they run out of fuel unexpectedly, and must land on Earth. They land on the ... See full summary »
Four old friends, Derek (Colm Feore), George (David Paymer), Ivan (Arliss Howard), and Frank (Tony Goldwyn), are reunited when they become suspects in a double murder that took place twenty... See full summary »
A man gets turned on watching his wife with other men as long as she plays by the rules. When she brings home a a new stranger who likes to play his own games, the husband finds his marriage in jeopardy.
Sara Suzanne Brown,
Movie producer Alan Clay wants to make a movie about Dr. Claire Archer and her amazing life story (she's been 'forced' to kill two men in self defence). Claire falls for Alan, and Alan ... See full summary »
A group of people who were the inspiration of an author's fact-based, best-selling book are invited to a party at a mansion in the Hollywood hills to celebrate the making of the book into a... See full summary »
Police Commissioner Alex Glass has been twisted into a sarcastic cynic by the hard luck story that is his life and by his daily contact with the criminals of Berlin's underground. His new ... See full summary »
Xena, Luna, and Sola leave Malibu but return to earth unexpectedly when Xena sneezes and crash lands them on a desert isle. After being threatened by dinosaurs and having a few close ... See full summary »
Dr. Ackerman, the biology teacher at the local college, meets with an untimely demise when chased by a UFO. Wesley, one of his students, is having trouble attracting women. That all changes... See full summary »
Los Angeles anchorwoman Jaime Douglas has it all: a glamorous career on a top-rated news show, a luxurious house in the hills, and a devoted young admirer named Derek. But when Jaime ... See full summary »
In the future, corporations have taken over the world and banned sex. A group of rebellious high school students devise a way to go back in time to the present day and try change history to prevent that from happening. Written by
The argument for the continued existence of "MST3K"
"Mystery Science Theatre 3000", or "MST3K" as it's known to its fans, was unceremoniously taken off the air several years ago, much to the dismay of film geeks like myself. This wonderful show took horrid, so-bad-they're-hilarious films and inserted its own irreverent commentary, well before such features were common on DVDs (or even before DVDs existed). At 74 minutes, David DeCoteau's (under one of his several aliases) opus "Test Tube Teens From The Year 2000" (aka "Virgin Hunters") is a perfect excuse to bring the show back, as it's tailor made for a fresh commentary by Mike/Joel and the 'bots. There's even room for commercials!
In the year 2019, an American corporation has overtaken the globe. At the behest of board member Camella Swales (Morgan Fairchild), Supercorp has banned sex in all its forms, resulting in humans being grown from test tubes (hence the confusing title...the protagonists were birthed in the year 2000). A professor who's part of an underground resistance (Ian Abercrombie) sends two of his students back in time to stop this from happening: the cute-but-geeky Naldo (Brian Bremer) and hunky lunkhead Vin (Christopher Wolf). They are followed by their friend Reena (Sara Suzanne Brown) and a killer cyborg (Don Dowe). Back in 1994, the test tube teens must stop Camella, then the head of an all-girls academy, from ever attaining the power that will lead her to ban sex. Much hilarity and female nudity ensue.
By all rights, this film should be at best awful. The sets, script, effects, and actors are all on a strict budget, and it shows, quite painfully in some cases. But the film is highly enjoyable despite itself. One reason is its mercifully short length (and even then the plot seems stretched too thin) and the other is the winning attitudes of all the actors involved. Everyone in the film seems like they're enjoying themselves and are honestly trying to bring through a good performance. Nobody brings this across more than Fairchild, who seems to relish playing the icy Camella Swales with a tightly-wound bliss. Both Bremer and Wolf are also quite enjoyable and charming, and it helps that Wolf is an absolutely gorgeous man. There are also moments of genuine humor, especially through Dowe's hilarious Arnold Schwarzenegger impression as the killer android.
When bad films take themselves too seriously, they're painful to sit through, such as the ponderous and dreadful "The Hulk." But when they keep their tongues in cheek and just have fun with themselves, they're actually quite enjoyable. "Test Tube Teens" falls firmly into the latter category, and it's all the better for it. Especially if you're trapped on a satellite with two wise-cracking robots. 6 out of 10.
13 of 17 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?