4.8/10
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8 user 1 critic

Teresa's Tattoo (1994)

Mathematician Teresa just wanted to study during the College spring break. But her friends, who want her to live a little, drag her out to parties. The next thing she knows, she has been ... See full summary »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Carl
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Sara
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Wheeler
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Michael
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Rick
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Teresa / Gloria
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Higgins
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Mooney
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Evelyn Hill
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Michelle
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Bruno
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Nora
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Singer
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Martha Mae
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Henrietta
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Storyline

Mathematician Teresa just wanted to study during the College spring break. But her friends, who want her to live a little, drag her out to parties. The next thing she knows, she has been drugged, kidnapped, made a redhead, tattooed, and wearing leather?!? Her captors seem to be the most inept crooks ever. They seem to have a plan, if only she could figure out why it involves her. Written by Brian W Martz <B.Martz@Genie.com>

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Genres:

Comedy

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for some language | See all certifications »
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Release Date:

6 April 1995 (Germany)  »

Also Known As:

Mystery Model  »

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Did You Know?

Crazy Credits

The beach-ball which causes the initial accident is credited in the cast as 'Rando Jr.' See more »

Soundtracks

Pool Cue Music
Written and Performed by Richard Friedman
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User Reviews

 
Cashed In Some Favors
15 October 2008 | by (Buffalo, New York) – See all my reviews

Teresa's Tattoo was Julie Cypher's second and last effort as a director we can all hope. My guess is that Lou Diamond Phillips, her husband at the time must have cashed in a bunch of favors from his Hollywood friends to get his wife this gig as a feature director. Her first effort was a short back in 1990.

A whole lot of people who came to prominence in the Eighties were gathered together for this inept comedy about a pair of doppleganger girls, one of whom dies while in the custody of kidnappers. Seems as though she's wearing earrings that contain holograph messages with data on the space program. Though who might have wanted it in 1995 with the Cold War over is beyond me.

Anyway poor Adrienne Shelley who plays the dead original kidnap victim and her lookalike who some gangsters hired by the Feds (yes, you read that right)grab instead because they think this is a ransom snatch proves a good deal smarter than any of the people trying to kidnap or rescue her. She's a math major, what would you expect?

This film is like a class reunion, look at the cast members, C. Thomas Howell, Casey Siemaszko, Nancy McKeon, Lou Diamond Phillips, Matt Adler, Joe Pantoliano, all came up about ten years earlier. Even Kiefer Sutherland has an unbilled part as a deputy sheriff and he could certainly be considered a contemporary.

The jokes fall flatter than Dorothy Gale's Kansas plains, everyone looks pained, some like Lou Diamond Phillips who know they're in a gobble gobble contest make up for it by overacting outrageously. Lou looked like he was in dress rehearsal for the part he had in The Big Hit which was a much funnier film.

Kiefer Sutherland was the smartest guy in the bunch, he didn't take any billing for this.


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