South Beach Academy (1996)

Director:

Joe Esposito

Writer:

Bill Milling (writer)

Genre:

Comedy

Tagline:

This Year's Student Body Is Shaping Up.

Plot Keywords:

Stripper | Female Nudity | Erotica | Bikini | Independent Film

Cast

Keith Coulouris	...	Harry Spencer (as Keith Colouris)
Elizabeth Kaitan	...	Shannon McSorley
Corey Feldman	...	Billy Spencer
Al Lewis	...	Uncle Gene
James Hong	...	Johnny Staccato
Lorelei Leslie	...	Harley
Julie Cialini	...	Phyllis Glass (as Julie Lynn Cialini)
Marcus Mueller	...	Pigiron
Amy Lynn Rosenthal	...	Erika
Ute Weigel	...	Solitaire
Tiffany Cara	...	Ginger
Christi Bauerle	...	Dominique
Kristina Rodriguez	...	Pina Kollata
Mindy Feldman	...	Francesca
Gary Bristow	...	Drill Sergeant

MPAA:

Rated R for pervasive nudity and some sex scenes.

Runtime:

91 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Sound Mix:

Stereo

Certification:

USA:R

Filming Locations:

Broward County, Florida, USA

Goofs:

Continuity: As Billy and Harry approach a hot dog stand the blonde girl selling hot dogs is clearly topless from behind. A closer shot then shows her wearing a bikini top. As they walk away she is seen again topless from the rear.

Movie Connections:

References "Spencer" (1984)

Soundtrack:

B - 3 Blues

An abysmal excuse for entertainment.

"South Beach Academy" is one of the few movies that I am embarrassed to admit having seen. I write these comments not to provide any intellectual critique of the film (for there was literally very little to comment on), but to serve as a warning for any fool just about to go and spend a couple of bucks renting it on video.

Only diehard Corey Feldman fans would ever go near this stinker, and even they are bound to be disappointed. Feldman is a genuinely talented actor with a sharp wit, and one can sense throughout this film that even he is taking it all with a grain of salt. He delivered sensational performances in "Stand By Me" and "The Goonies" (among others), and in a way it is sad to see him in this woeful exploitation movie.

The plot is too simple and idiotic for words, so I will not deal with it here. Indeed, there simply isn't much plot to comment on. Something about a beach and a volleyball game - I couldn't elaborate, because it seemed that I was dropping in and out of a coma while watching the film. The acting from everyone apart from Feldman is wooden (and Feldman is brought down a couple of notches as a result), and the only laughs I got from this show were at the expense of the actors themselves, (if such a term is allowable).

I'm an admirer of the 'bad film' genre, and "South Beach Academy" is certainly a bad film, but its problem is that it tries a little too hard to be a good film. The characters are confused - they don't know whether to act or to ham, and they end up doing a curiously amusing combination of the two.

But let's get one thing straight - the film contains scene after scene of gratuitous nudity, which seems to be its main selling point. The question here is - why bother? Dozens of this type of film have already been produced, and if you're really into that sort of thing, just find a movie on late-night television - there's bound to be one showing soon.

I am angry and frustrated that I lost a couple of valuable hours of my life watching this rubbish. If this review dissuades any potential viewer from renting the video, I shall be a happy man.