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- Goku: I'm so stuffed!
- Cho Hakkai: [laughs] I'd never thought I'd live to hear those world pass through your lips, Goku.
- Sha Gojyo: [cracks open a beer and takes a swig] Goddamn it, this one's hot. Goku, get me another beer.
- Goku: Get your own beer, jerkoff!
- Sha Gojyo: Okay, you're gonna get me another beer or I'm gonna take this can and shove it up your whiney little ass! You got that?
- Goku: You just try and see what happens, ya shithead!
- Sha Gojyo: Oh, yeah?
- Goku: You're just looking for an excuse to touch my ass, aren't you?
- Genjo Sanzo: [sighs] Please ...
- Sha Gojyo: You little fag! Don't project your fantasies on me!
- Goku: All right, that's it! Pull over, I'm taking him out!
- Genjo Sanzo: Your little unrequited love affair is starting to get on my nerves! Get a room!
- [Gojyo and Goku fall silent]
- Cho Hakkai: Good move there, uh, Sanzo.
- Genjo Sanzo: I thought so, thanks.
- Cho Hakkai: Oh, my, awful quiet back there guys. Are you two making out?
- Sha Gojyo: Shut up, Hakkai.
- Goku: Yeah, shut up.
- Genjo Sanzo: Embrace nothing. If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha. If you meet your father, kill your father. Only live your life as it is, not bound to anything.
- Goku: [laughing] You, a holy man? Yeah, right!
- Sha Gojyo: [laughing, mimicking Yoh] I cannot tell you what this means to me. Do no hesitate to call my name!
- Cho Hakkai: [laughing] You know what this means, don't you?
- [the three become very serious]
- Goku, Sha Gojyo, Cho Hakkai: He doesn't know you very well.
- [they break into laughter again]
- Genjo Sanzo: He gave me something that day. Something I wanted to protect. And when it was taken from me, I learned how small I was. I vowed never again to care for someone so much, I couldn't bear to lose them.
- Sha Gojyo: Stupid monkey, get your own food.
- Goku: Leave me alone, you pervy water sprit!
- Genjo Sanzo: [pulls out gun and start shoting] Will you both shut the hell up?
- Goku: Oh, great, the carnival's in town.
- Sha Gojyo: Oh, yeah. I'd like to show a couple of those little carnival hotties what kind of action's going on under my big top.
- Cho Hakkai: [blows a whistle] Too much information!
- Goku: The hotel's booked, preacher-man. But I had the foresight to book a couple of vacant singles, so you can say thank you now.
- Genjo Sanzo: Thank you now.
- [a demon flies into the hall through Goku's closed door]
- Cho Hakkai: Are you all right, Goku?
- Goku: [sleepily] Wha? I'm fine. I had the weirdest dream.
- Cho Hakkai: More like a nightmare, my friend.
- Sha Gojyo: He did this in his sleep? That's bullshit.
- Genjo Sanzo: I'm sorry, I can't concentrate. Not with those two morons in the back.
- Cho Hakkai: [happily] I'm trying to ignore them!
- Genjo Sanzo: Really? How's it going?
- Cho Hakkai: Not so good.
- Jiroushin: Pardon me, goddess, but why did you send the chosen gour on an earth bound path? Their journey west would be far faster if you would have allowed them heavenly travel.
- Merciful Goddess: Geographical arrival is not the only goal. Currently they are painfully lacking in both the ability and the solidarity that will be necessary for them to accomplish our true goal. They are not only traveling to a physical destination, but a spiritual one as well.
- Jiroushin: Of course. I'm sorry, I should not have doubted your methods.
- Merciful Goddess: I'm kidding. It's just that it's much more interesting this way, don't you think?
- Sha Gojyo: [analyzing their foe] So, whadda ya think, Goku?
- Goku: Seems like an asshole and he's got bad hair. I say minus twenty points.
- Cho Hakkai: Take off another fifteen. His clothes are lame and he smells.
- Monk 3, Demon 3: [laughing until he realizes they're talking about him] Huh? How dare you! How dare you mock me!
- Goku: Oh! Dude! Bad teeth! Take off another five!
- [the demon throws his ax at Gojyo and misses]
- Sha Gojyo: Bad aim. That's another ten.
- Genjo Sanzo: And you're not all that bright either. Take away another forty-five.
- Goku: Nice shot.
- Cho Hakkai: With that many points, he's definitely out of the game.
- Genjo Sanzo: Everybody becomes closer to Buddha when they stop breathing. It's harder to be close while you still are.
- Merciful Goddess: Jiroushin, do you know why we, the gods, exist in heaven? It is not to look down on them, but to watch over them. To watch over those that were born to live.
- Cho Hakkai: They didn't drive all this way just to see us, did they?
- Goku: I'm not so sure that truck is road worthy.
- Cho Hakkai: [laughs] How much you wanna bet they had to push that thing all the way here?
- Homura: So you see, it's not so easy to kill gods.
- Genjo Sanzo: Huh. How very god-like of you. Wow. To demonstrate your great power, then expect us to hand over the scriptures to you.
- Homura: Why don't you kneel, kneel before me now.
- Genjo Sanzo: No, thank you.
- [fires a shot at Homrua's head]
- Homura: Have faith only in what you see with your own eyes, feel with your own heart, and prove with your own strength. That is something that I have always admired about you.
- Homura: Innocent eyes, pure intentions, but this boy is also a heretic, just like me. Saiten taisen, Son Goku!
- [three shots fire]
- Genjo Sanzo: Will you two shut up? Do you wanna die?
- [three more shots fire]
- Genjo Sanzo: Now if you are quite finished, will you sit down?
- Goku: But, Sanzo!
- Sha Gojyo: This monkey...
- Genjo Sanzo: Shut up!
- Resturaunt Patron: Hey, isn't that a monk's robe he's got on?
- Goku: But there are still some spring rolls left!
- Sha Gojyo: Beer!
- Cho Hakkai: Yes, yes, I know. But if we don't hurry, Sanzo really will shoot us.
- Goku: Spring rolls!
- Sha Gojyo: Beer!
- Genjo Sanzo: Slowpokes!
- [fires two shots]
- Zenon: He may not look it, but he's a very benevolent god.
- Hotel Clerk: I know, I have an idea. How about I lay a bunch of blankets on the floor for you guys and you can all sleep together.
- Genjo Sanzo, Sha Gojyo, Goku, Cho Hakkai: Sleep together?
- Hotel Clerk: [after opening the door and finding Goku pinned under Gojyo on the bed] Oh, sorry. I'll just leave this right here.
- [leaves and shuts the door]
- Hotel Clerk: I swear, I didn't see anything. Enjoy your stay.
- Sha Gojyo: Be honest with me fellas, does this look bad?
- Konzen Douji: I forgot who it was who said monotony could kill a man. Someone from the lower world, I believe. But here death doesn't even exist. Your brain melts away at room temperature for eternity.
- Sha Gojyo: Well, it sure does look like Sanzo needs some anger management.
- Genjo Sanzo: If you don't move your ass I'll show you anger management.
- Homura: This is the way it should be. You should have been able to hear Kougaji's soul cry out. That's why you are the only ones who can save him. I cannot. I cannot hear the voices, even if I wanted.
- Cho Hakkai: It's such an eerie feeling, though. How he actually seems to anticipate our every move.
- Genjo Sanzo: That's not hard with these two.
- Sha Gojyo, Goku: What did you say?
- Sha Gojyo: Hey, Sanzo!
- Genjo Sanzo: Hm?
- Sha Gojyo: Lend me a smoke, will ya?
- Genjo Sanzo: No way.
- Sha Gojyo: Don't be a Scrooge! I gotta have my fix, man!
- Genjo Sanzo: If memory serves me correctly, I seem to recall someone saying my smokes tasted like shit.
- Sha Gojyo: I need nicotine right now. Cough 'em up!
- Genjo Sanzo: Let go of me, that is if you wanna live, you red-haired fairy.
- Sha Gojyo: [screams] I need nicotine!