Gensomaden Saiyuki (2000–2001)
Genjo Sanzo: Embrace nothing. If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha. If you meet your father, kill your father. Only live your life as it is, not bound to anything.
Sha Gojyo: [cracks open a beer and takes a swig] Goddamn it, this one's hot. Goku, get me another beer.
Goku: Get your own beer, jerkoff!
Sha Gojyo: Okay, you're gonna get me another beer or I'm gonna take this can and shove it up your whiney little ass! You got that?
Goku: You just try and see what happens, ya shithead!
Sha Gojyo: Oh, yeah?
Goku: You're just looking for an excuse to touch my ass, aren't you?
Genjo Sanzo: [sighs] Please ...
Sha Gojyo: You little fag! Don't project your fantasies on me!
Goku: All right, that's it! Pull over, I'm taking him out!
Genjo Sanzo: Your little unrequited love affair is starting to get on my nerves! Get a room!
[Gojyo and Goku fall silent]
Cho Hakkai: Good move there, uh, Sanzo.
Genjo Sanzo: I thought so, thanks.
Cho Hakkai: Oh, my, awful quiet back there guys. Are you two making out?
Sha Gojyo: Shut up, Hakkai.
Goku: Yeah, shut up.
Kouryui, Kid: Calling it something else won't change what it is.
Genjo Sanzo: He gave me something that day. Something I wanted to protect. And when it was taken from me, I learned how small I was. I vowed never again to care for someone so much, I couldn't bear to lose them.
Merciful Goddess: Life is about the voyage, not the destination.
Kougaiji: Why do you keep fighting if you have nothing at stake here? Why?
Goku: God, dude. What do you keep talking about? I fight for myself. Me. That's reason enough to take you down. Eat dirt!
Sha Gojyo: Stupid monkey, get your own food.
Goku: Leave me alone, you pervy water sprit!
Genjo Sanzo: [pulls out gun and start shoting] Will you both shut the hell up?
Goku: Oh, great, the carnival's in town.
Sha Gojyo: Oh, yeah. I'd like to show a couple of those little carnival hotties what kind of action's going on under my big top.
Cho Hakkai: [blows a whistle] Too much information!
Goku: The hotel's booked, preacher-man. But I had the foresight to book a couple of vacant singles, so you can say thank you now.
Genjo Sanzo: Thank you now.
[a demon flies into the hall through Goku's closed door]
Cho Hakkai: Are you all right, Goku?
Goku: [sleepily] Wha? I'm fine. I had the weirdest dream.
Cho Hakkai: More like a nightmare, my friend.
Sha Gojyo: He did this in his sleep? That's bullshit.
Genjo Sanzo: I'm sorry, I can't concentrate. Not with those two morons in the back.
Cho Hakkai: [happily] I'm trying to ignore them!
Genjo Sanzo: Really? How's it going?
Cho Hakkai: Not so good.
Jiroushin: Pardon me, goddess, but why did you send the chosen gour on an earth bound path? Their journey west would be far faster if you would have allowed them heavenly travel.
Merciful Goddess: Geographical arrival is not the only goal. Currently they are painfully lacking in both the ability and the solidarity that will be necessary for them to accomplish our true goal. They are not only traveling to a physical destination, but a spiritual one as well.
Jiroushin: Of course. I'm sorry, I should not have doubted your methods.
Merciful Goddess: I'm kidding. It's just that it's much more interesting this way, don't you think?
Goku: [laughing] You, a holy man? Yeah, right!
Sha Gojyo: [laughing, mimicking Yoh] I cannot tell you what this means to me. Do no hesitate to call my name!
Cho Hakkai: [laughing] You know what this means, don't you?
[the three become very serious]
[they break into laughter again]
Sha Gojyo: [analyzing their foe] So, whadda ya think, Goku?
Goku: Seems like an asshole and he's got bad hair. I say minus twenty points.
Cho Hakkai: Take off another fifteen. His clothes are lame and he smells.
Monk 3, Demon 3: [laughing until he realizes they're talking about him] Huh? How dare you! How dare you mock me!
Goku: Oh! Dude! Bad teeth! Take off another five!
[the demon throws his ax at Gojyo and misses]
Sha Gojyo: Bad aim. That's another ten.
Genjo Sanzo: And you're not all that bright either. Take away another forty-five.
Goku: Nice shot.
Cho Hakkai: With that many points, he's definitely out of the game.
Genjo Sanzo: Everybody becomes closer to Buddha when they stop breathing. It's harder to be close while you still are.
Sha Gojyo: So ya wanna see if the carpet matches the drapes, do ya?
Merciful Goddess: Jiroushin, do you know why we, the gods, exist in heaven? It is not to look down on them, but to watch over them. To watch over those that were born to live.
Sha Gojyo: Man, this giant shitpile ain't easy to break into. It's tough.
Cho Hakkai: They didn't drive all this way just to see us, did they?
Goku: I'm not so sure that truck is road worthy.
Cho Hakkai: [laughs] How much you wanna bet they had to push that thing all the way here?
Homura: So you see, it's not so easy to kill gods.
Genjo Sanzo: Huh. How very god-like of you. Wow. To demonstrate your great power, then expect us to hand over the scriptures to you.
Homura: Why don't you kneel, kneel before me now.
Genjo Sanzo: No, thank you.
[fires a shot at Homrua's head]
Homura: Have faith only in what you see with your own eyes, feel with your own heart, and prove with your own strength. That is something that I have always admired about you.
Homura: Innocent eyes, pure intentions, but this boy is also a heretic, just like me. Saiten taisen, Son Goku!
[three shots fire]
Genjo Sanzo: Will you two shut up? Do you wanna die?
[three more shots fire]
Genjo Sanzo: Now if you are quite finished, will you sit down?
Goku: But, Sanzo!
Sha Gojyo: This monkey...
Genjo Sanzo: Shut up!
Resturaunt Patron: Hey, isn't that a monk's robe he's got on?
Goku: But there are still some spring rolls left!
Sha Gojyo: Beer!
Cho Hakkai: Yes, yes, I know. But if we don't hurry, Sanzo really will shoot us.
Goku: Spring rolls!
Sha Gojyo: Beer!
Genjo Sanzo: Slowpokes!
[fires two shots]
Homura: It's better to be free on earth than slaves in the heavens.
Zenon: He may not look it, but he's a very benevolent god.
Hotel Clerk: I know, I have an idea. How about I lay a bunch of blankets on the floor for you guys and you can all sleep together.
Hotel Clerk: [after opening the door and finding Goku pinned under Gojyo on the bed] Oh, sorry. I'll just leave this right here.
[leaves and shuts the door]
Hotel Clerk: I swear, I didn't see anything. Enjoy your stay.
Sha Gojyo: Be honest with me fellas, does this look bad?
Konzen Douji: I forgot who it was who said monotony could kill a man. Someone from the lower world, I believe. But here death doesn't even exist. Your brain melts away at room temperature for eternity.
Sha Gojyo: Well, it sure does look like Sanzo needs some anger management.
Genjo Sanzo: If you don't move your ass I'll show you anger management.
Sha Gojyo: Moron. That's what you get for pausing in battle to make pretty speeches.
Sha Gojyo: Well, that certainly is a first, we're all in agreement for once.
Homura: And who knows? You and your little band of heroes maybe be able to save him.
Homura: This is the way it should be. You should have been able to hear Kougaji's soul cry out. That's why you are the only ones who can save him. I cannot. I cannot hear the voices, even if I wanted.
Sha Gojyo: I'm not sleeping tonight unless there's a woman beside me.
Sha Gojyo: I'm exhausted. I can't even muster enough energy to punch Goku.
Goku: That would piss me off if I weren't so damn hungry.
Cho Hakkai: It's such an eerie feeling, though. How he actually seems to anticipate our every move.
Genjo Sanzo: That's not hard with these two.
Sha Gojyo: Hey, Sanzo!
Genjo Sanzo: Hm?
Sha Gojyo: Lend me a smoke, will ya?
Genjo Sanzo: No way.
Sha Gojyo: Don't be a Scrooge! I gotta have my fix, man!
Genjo Sanzo: If memory serves me correctly, I seem to recall someone saying my smokes tasted like shit.
Sha Gojyo: I need nicotine right now. Cough 'em up!
Genjo Sanzo: Let go of me, that is if you wanna live, you red-haired fairy.
Sha Gojyo: [screams] I need nicotine!
Merciful Goddess: Lesser men have tried and greater men have failed.
Sha Gojyo: I'll be damned. He's sleeping with eyes open.
[grabs Goku and starts shaking him]
Sha Gojyo: That's just too goddamned creepy!
Genjo Sanzo: Shut up or I'll kill you!
Cho Hakkai: That's too weird. Sanzo shouts in his sleep.
Sha Gojyo: I left the monkey back in the forest, if you must know.
Goku: That lady called Hakkai Gonou. I wonder, that means they were school makes or something!
Sha Gojyo: You can be so naive sometimes, Goku. They were a little more that that. I think ol' one eye was getting some nun action, if you ...
Genjo Sanzo: Enough!
[smacks Goku and Gojyo with his fan]
Genjo Sanzo: If you want something to speculate about, why don't you figure out where we're going to sleep tonight?
Cho Hakkai: Destroying that which you hate will not create the world you long for, I promise.
Genjo Sanzo: So now we're stealing from monkeys. That's so pathetic.
Sha Gojyo: You monks aren't more moral than us. You just rationalize much better.
Genjo Sanzo: I wish that stupid monkey would just shut the hell up.
Sha Gojyo: Whoo-hee, he's giving me a pounding headache.
Cho Hakkai: Hey, come one, bring on the booze!
Sha Gojyo: Come to think of it, I've never actually seen Hakkai drunk before.
Cho Hakkai: We might have underestimated him.
Eldest Fei Brother: What's wrong, Goldilocks? You look woozy. That all you got?
Eldest Fei Brother: I didn't hurt your feelings, did I, pretty boy?
Genjo Sanzo: Heh, heh, heh, heh ...
Cho Hakkai: S-Sanzo?
Genjo Sanzo: You dumb bastard. You actually have the gall to mock me, do you? Maten ...
Cho Hakkai: [clamps his hand over Sanzo's mouth] Please! Don't you think unleashing a scripture that controls heaven and earth is a little severe?
Sha Gojyo: Damn it to hell, these monkeys sure are a pain in the ass.
Goku: I resent that!
Sha Gojyo: You resemble that.
Goku: If this place were deep inside the earth, I would not yearn for a sun I never knew.
[Goku pulls Konzen's hair, pulling out several strands]
Goku: [sheepish smile] Sorry.
Konzen Douji: What the hell did you do that for, ya damn monkey? Don't you know who I am?
[starts beating up Goku]
Goku: Ah! I didn't mean to! I said I was sorry!
Merciful Goddess: Egan, he's so charming and they get along so well, don't you think? I think we'll keep him
Merciful Goddess: with us here.
Jiroushin: What in the name of the heavens are you saying, Merciful Goddess? You've never kept so much as a houseplant without killing it!
Merciful Goddess: Silence! Did I say *I* was going to keep him?
Merciful Goddess: He shall remain in the care of my nephew, Konzen.
Konzen Douji: Huh? Why you worthless old hag!
Merciful Goddess: This is the Merciful Goddess's mandate. Now go have fun with your new pet. Go on, run along.
Merciful Goddess: Hair like the sun. What a truly perfect pick up line. The sun.
General Kenren: Flowers are great, women are better, but I tell you, a glass of good rice wine is just heavenly.
Konzen Douji: Merciful, my ass! She's dumping all her problems on me!
Prince Nataku: I will never grow up, not if it means becoming like you.
Konzen Douji: That damn monkey's nothing but a constant distraction. Assign him to someone else, will you please?
Merciful Goddess: When you're having so much fun?
Konzen Douji: Don't you have anything better to do than torture me?
Merciful Goddess: And you make much a wonderful daddy.
Konzen Douji: Real funny.
General Kenren: So come on, guys, if you've been wanting a piece of me, here's your chance.
Field Marshall Tenpou: You just had to rile them up, didn't you?
Sha Gojyo: Yeah, Sanzo, have you seen her?
Genjo Sanzo: Why are you asking me?
Sha Gojyo: Well, she is your play pal, isn't she?
Genjo Sanzo: [puts the barrel of the banishing gun under Gojyo's chin] Please continue.
Sha Gojyo: Mommy.
Genjo Sanzo: Tell me, why is this brat still around?
Cho Hakkai: Put down the gun.
Yaone: Since we were here, I figured we would enjoy the festival.
Goku: Unnhhhhhh, who would be making a racket this early?
Sha Gojyo: It's noon already, moron.
Goku: What? You mean I missed breakfast?
Sha Gojyo: I never knew you had such a playful side to you, monk.
Cho Hakkai: Look, Sanzo, you're gonna totally look like and old man if you're tense all the time. You should learn to relax a little bit. It wouldn't kill ya.
Cho Hakkai: I feel like the mouse the cat plays with before it's going to kill it.
Sha Gojyo: Either they're really confident, really polite, or really bored.
Cho Hakkai: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say all of the above.
Sha Gojyo: Or this could be their way of flirting with one of us.
Konzen Douji: Tell me, are you and Kenren sharing the same stylist?
Field Marshal Tenpou: Yes, and I think the fashion is bound to catch on eventually!
General Kenren: Don't I look more rugged?
Shien: Destroying this world to make way for a new one, that is why I am here. But still, I can't help but wonder if the universe we create will be any better. But it's useless to second-guess. I made my choice a long time ago and there's no deviating from this path once I've set upon it. Yes, I chose to put all my faith in Homura then, when I saw the horrible things we'd done to you, in the name of heaven.
Sha Gojyo: I really hate guys like you. So willing to lay down your lives for some self-serving despot, yet completely unable to lift a finger to stand up for yourselves.
Genjo Sanzo: Don't expect me to chant any sutras for you if you croak.
Sha Gojyo: Yes, sir. I'd sure hate for you to put yourself out, or anything.
Merciful Goddess: Will you continue to be the little tyke's shining sun, Sanzo?
Sha Gojyo: You look a little winded. You should cut back on those cigarettes.
Dokugakuji: You're one to talk.
Cho Hakkai: Regrets are just a way for the foolish and the guilty to pass the time.
Zenon: I'm no longer a god; I'm a demon from hell.
Sha Gojyo: You look a little winded. You should cut back on those cigarettes.
Sha Gojyo: You're one to talk.
Genjo Sanzo: He gave me something that day. Something I wanted to protect. And when it was taken from me, I learned how small I was. I vowed never again to care for someone so much, I could bear to lose them.
Cho Hakkai: By the way, I'm willing to bet I'm the first guy you've ever held in your arms.
Sha Gojyo: That's right, never again.
Cho Hakkai: Okay, I'll stay. But I want you to know that I reserve the right to walk at any time I deem fit.
Genjo Sanzo: Just take me with you.
Cho Hakkai: Without the limitor he's reverted to his original form. The creature conceived in a giant stone where the earthly auras gather. The great sage, Goku.
Merciful Goddess: I got it. Nothing is impossible for me.
[childish chanting over Hakkai and Jiroushin's dialogue]
Merciful Goddess: Nothing is impossible for me. I'm a goddess, I can do whatever I want to! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Cho Hakkai: Oohhkaaay... Are goddesses always this sure of themselves?
Cho Hakkai: Oh, boy. Just try working for one.
Merciful Goddess: Such an unruly band of misfits. You know, they might just make it after all.
Genjo Sanzo: I'm crashing. Anyone wakes me up, cut their nuts off.
Cho Hakkai: [short laugh] Go to sleep.
Cho Hakkai: When they get like this, I usually just like to go to my own happy place.
Genjo Sanzo: Are you really able to tune them out?
Cho Hakkai: Mmmm, nope.
Lirin: All right! Who wants a piece of me? Listen to me, you bunch of do-gooders! Prepare to meet your doom!
Cho Hakkai: What's up?
Yaone: I was wondering, if you're not doing anything, would you consider maybe being my opponent? If you want to.
Cho Hakkai: Why, I would be honored.
Lirin: [assessing the enemy from Sanzo's shoulders] Oh what's the big deal? I kicked this guy's ass with no problem.
Genjo Sanzo: Listen ...
Genjo Sanzo: What do you think you're doing?
Lirin: I'm sitting.
Genjo Sanzo: Get off.
Genjo Sanzo: Oh boy are you gonna get it.
Genjo Sanzo: Pardon me, but don't these guys know they're supposed to be our enemies?
Sha Gojyo: Yeah, so what do you call that thing on your shoulders, huh?
Sha Gojyo: I ain't dyin'. And I tell ya, I super hate to lose.
Genjo Sanzo: Don't say super.
Sha Gojyo: What should I say? Hella hate?
Cho Hakkai: You said it was easy to find the crevices of my heart. Well, my heart isn't big enough for crevices.
Genjo Sanzo: Sheesh. I thought one Goku was bad enough.
Sha Gojyo: You should think of all of the trouble they'll cause for other folks.
Cho Hakkai: Besides, illegal copies are an infringement of copyright.
Cho Hakkai: We wouldn't be on this journey unless we were all a bunch of idiots.
Goku: I'm so stuffed!
Cho Hakkai: [laughs] I'd never thought I'd live to hear those world pass through your lips, Goku.
Sha Gojyo: For your information, this is the one and only time I take a man to bed, got it?
Genjo Sanzo: Well, he did go without eating for about 500 years, so his body must be trying to make up for it.
Genjo Sanzo: Murder doesn't necessarily mean evil, right? The world being what it is, a lot of people out there deserve to die, don't they? But those who do take it upone themselves to kill others have to be prepared to have others try to kill them as well. And that's what they call the law of Karma, my friends. That's why good or bad, the only ones who are going to be left standing are the ones with the strongest wills to survive.
Genjo Sanzo: The gods do not save anyone. You alone are responsible for saving your life.
Sha Gojyo: Though I did spend some time with a tall, dysfunctional blond, an impulsive, excitable little airhead, and I had an emotionally unstable head case with a pretty face shack up with me for a while.
Genjo Sanzo: I wouldn't go on a trip with you fools if you paid me.
Genjo Sanzo: What makes you think that there is only one path to take?
Goku: Why would a demon com all that way just to eat a Sanzo? Are Sanzos that tasty?
Sha Gojyo: Now don't you go getting any funny ideas, hear me?
Genjo Sanzo: I seem to recall the spider woman saying something about eating holy monks. Interesting. Apparently a healthy serving of monks helps you live longer.
Cho Hakkai: So eating a high ranking monk like a Sanzo is as good as eating your fruits and vegetables when you're a demon, is that it?
Sha Gojyo: You've got to be shitting me.
Cho Hakkai: Being a Sanzo doesn't necessarily make you as strong as a demon. He was probably a proper, serious, ordinary, very devout Sanzo.
Genjo Sanzo: What do you mean by that?
Dr. Ni: What's precious to you? You should never let go of what's precious to you, your highness.
Genjo Sanzo: [gasps in pain after being kicked by Goku] Ow, that hurt. What'd you do that for?
Goku: Berate me. Go ahead and strike me with your little paper fan. That's what the Sanzo priest I know would do.
Cho Hakkai: [voice over] Sanzo's rage vanished instantly. The Sanzo priest was really no match for the monkey's wit.
Goku: [chuckling] Oh, man.
Genjo Sanzo: What are you giggling about?
Goku: [still chuckling] I'm not giggling.
Genjo Sanzo: You're so creepy.
Cho Hakkai: I think Sanzo's starting to warm up a little.
Sha Gojyo: He can be twisted at times, but
Sha Gojyo: it's kinda nice to see his feminine side.
Boy: Your friends are weird.
Bat Demon: Come, don't be shy. Let's get a look at that pretty little face of yours.
[chuckling, he removes the hood to reveal Hakkai]
Bat Demon: Huh?
Cho Hakkai: Don't tell me you didn't see this one coming. Oh, well. So how 'bout it tall, dark, handsome, and horrible? I do hope you're into the rough stuff.
Sha Gojyo: You, dying of hunger? That's I'd like to see.
Genjo Sanzo: What's wrong, Goku?
Cho Hakkai: Goku!
Sha Gojyo: I'll go get you some food right away! Just hold on! Don't die on me monkey.
[Goku sits up happily]
Goku: In that case, I'll take some pot stickers.
[Gojyo smacks him]
Doctor Huang: Non-perishables go there.
Dr. Ni: Aye-aye, Miss President.
Doctor Huang: And please stop calling me that.
Lirin: Hey guys!
Genjo Sanzo: No, it can't be.
Sha Gojyo: If it itsn't Sanzo's little pet. Look at Sanzo has a little pet.
Genjo Sanzo: Peeve. Pet peeve. I hate her.
Hakuryu: Mia, mia, mia!
[repeated multiple times]
Spot: Did you say something?
Porky: That wasn't you?
Fluffy: Which means that babies must be sleeping in the engine!
Spot: That's the stupidest thing ...
- you've ever said!
Genjo Sanzo: What a persistent little f...
Sha Gojyo: I envy you man. Why don't the chicks pursue me like this, Sanzo?
Genjo Sanzo: I will kill you.
Lirin: Okay, bald Sanzo, here I come!
Genjo Sanzo: Goku, you fight her.
Goku: Oh, kick ass! Why'd you choose me?
Sha Gojyo: Makes sense. She's your size.
Goku: But Hakkai's the one who's good with children.
Cho Hakkai: No, no! Gojyo's the one that's good with women.
Sha Gojyo: Yeah, but she's, she's Sanzo's girlfriend.
Genjo Sanzo: You're askin' for it.
Goku: [looking at the sunset] It's more beautiful than a meat bun!
Sha Gojyo: That's quite an endorsement.
Cho Hakkai: Come to think of it, we're always heading towards the setting sun, aren't we?
Cho Hakkai: Ah, sweet youth!
Sha Gojyo: [bursts out laughing] Ah sweet youth!
Cho Hakkai: It wasn't that bad, now was it?
Kouryui, Kid: I don't understand you at all. Not in the least. I know that the Buddha extols the heavenly virtues of preserving all life, but you not only risked your own life to save me from that raging river, but you took me in a kept me at your side.
Koumyou Sanzo: It was because of the sound of your voice.
Kouryui, Kid: Huh?
Koumyou Sanzo: You called out to me, repeatedly. You called out so many times, I had never seen such will in a child before.
Genjo Sanzo: I cried out to him, and he heard me.
Koumyou Sanzo: You were so noisy I had to take you with me. You were driving me crazy.
Kouryui, Kid: I'm sorry, I don't quite understand.
Koumyou Sanzo: One day, Kouryu, you will hear a voice call out to you. Then you will understand.
Kouryui, Kid: If I ever did heard that voice, I would take him in, too. I would teach him discipline and obedience with my fan.
Goku: All these vegatables are giving me gas.
Cho Hakkai: Well, they're Buddists and they're monks... and if you think about farting I'll kill you.