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The Pagemaster (1994) Poster

Quotes

Mr. Dewey: Welcome to the library, young man. Don't tell me. You're here for a special book.

Richard Tyler: Mister...

Mr. Dewey: Stop stop stop. Allow me to guess. I have a talent for guessing what people need. You're in need of a fantasy! Brave knights, mythical fairies, ferocious dragons!

Richard Tyler: Look, all I want is...

Mr. Dewey: Adventure! Of course! You're a boy who loves adventure, brimming with wicked demons, cutthroat pirates.

Richard Tyler: No, no, that's not it.

Mr. Dewey: Horror! Oh, horror! Evil demons, wicked monsters, haunted houses, graveyards. Yes, it's horror for you, boy. I'm sure of it. Your library card, please.

Richard Tyler: I don't have one.

Mr. Dewey: [pulls out a brand new one] You do now. Sign here.

[Richard signs it]

Mr. Dewey: Richard Tyler, consider this your passport to the wonderful and quite unpredictable world of books.

Richard Tyler: But I don't want any books.

Mr. Dewey: Hmm?

Richard Tyler: That's what I've been trying to tell you. I only came in here 'cause of the storm.

Mr. Dewey: You mean you don't need...?

[Richard shakes his head]

Mr. Dewey: [disappointed] Oh, I see.

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[upon meeting Captain Ahab]

Fantasy: He's possessed!

Horror: He's insane!

Adventure: He's my kinda guy!

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[last lines]

Adventure: Hmm, you know what would make this a happy ending? A kiss.

Horror: Doh, okay.

[the screen goes blank, a smack is heard]

Adventure: I meant from her!

[all three are heard laughing]

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Richard Tyler: Hey! How'd you get here?

Fantasy: Quit it! We are in the presence of the Pagemaster.

Richard Tyler: I *know* who he is. He's the guy who did all THIS to me! Do you have any idea what I've been through?

The Pagemaster: Tell me.

Richard Tyler: I was nearly torn to shreds by a crazy doctor, I was made a slave to a bunch of mangy pirates, and eaten. Got that? Eaten by a fire-breathing dragon!

Horror: He don't mean it, my Pagemaster. He don't mean it.

Richard Tyler: Not to mention being tossed, squashed, and scared practically to death!

The Pagemaster: Yet you stand before me.

Richard Tyler: Well, yeah.

The Pagemaster: Think, boy. What kind of an adventure would you have had if I brought you here with the turn of a page?

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Adventure: I wrote the book on sailing. In fact, I *am* the book on sailing.

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Horror: Sixteen men on a dead man's stomach...

Fantasy: No, no! Chest! Chest!

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Adventure: How would you like to curl up with a good book?

[Fantasy wallops him]

Adventure: Ow, me binding!

Fantasy: In your dreams!

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Alan Tyler: He's afraid of tuna-fish sandwiches.

Claire Tyler: Mercury levels in the tuna-fish sandwiches.

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Richard Tyler: [to Adventure] You guys are the only friends I ever had.

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Adventure: Remember, mate, not all sharks are in the water.

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Fantasy: Dr. Jekyll? Dr. J?

Mr. Hyde: My name... is MR HYDE!

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Fantasy: [reading the names on a house] Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde...

[shrugs]

Fantasy: must be a duplex.

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Horror: Horror always has sad endings.

Fantasy: I come from a world of happy endings, why don't you come with us?

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[repeated line]

Richard Tyler: This is not good, definitely not good.

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Fantasy: What is this?

Richard Tyler: It's a library card.

Fantasy: I'm a book, honey, I can read.

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Dr. Jekyll: My boy, I derive no pleasure in telling you that you are in extreme danger.

Richard Tyler: Danger?

Dr. Jekyll: Even as we speak.

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Tom Morgan: Give the word, Captain Silver, and I'll show you the color of his insides.

Richard Tyler: Red, red, they're red!

Long John Silver: Stow your cutlass, Tom, I want a better look at his outsides first.

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Fantasy: You know this short story?

Richard Tyler: He's Adventure.

Fantasy: Honey, that's what they all say.

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Horror: We are lusty, adventurous men.

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Richard Tyler: Fantasy!

Fantasy: Naturally. Who were you expecting, honey? The Tooth Fairy?

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Jamaican Pirate: One gold piece! This is your treasure, is it. Let's kill him and eat his parrot.

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Long John Silver: [swiping Richard's library card] A cabin boy don't need no library card.

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Horror: [to Adventure] I know I'm not your favorite kind of book, but I could be just like you.

Adventure: You'll *never* be Adventure! You ain't got the spine for it!

Fantasy: Come on, honey, even books have spines!

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Richard Tyler: Do I click my heels or something?

Fantasy: You're in the wrong story, honey.

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Fantasy: What do you mean grabbing a person by the pantyhose like that? Now I've got to straighten out my Little Mermaid underwear.

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Telephone Operator: Due to the storm, all lines have been temporarily disconnected. Please try your call again later.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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