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No Contest (1994) was a strange brew of a movie. This film starred the
likes of Shannon Tweed, Andrew "Dice" Clay, Roddy Piper and Robert
Davi. This film was a total cheese fest from the beginning until the
end. A DIE-HARD rip-off that totally succeeds on it's own. Andrew
"Dice" Clay stars as a desperate man who's henchmen (including his
right-hand man Roddy Piper) storm a high ride building and holds it's
occupants hostage. Shannon Tweed co-stars as a woman who launches her
own rescue team from the inside. Her outside contact is a crippled
Mnay questions are raised in this film. Why does the "Dice Man" go to such a great length to hold these people hostage? Will the local authorities save the day? Can Ms. Tweed kick butt and takes names? How does Robert Davi figure into the flow of the movie? Does Roddy Piper get to show off his nut-case side again? To find out the answers to these questions you'll have to watch NO CONTEST.
Not bad for a direct-to-video-film. I found this movie to be highly entertaining and dismissed for no apparent reason. People please remember it's supposed to be bad and these actors don't take themselves seriously at all.
Shannon Tweed's first attempt to change her image and become an action heroine is also one of her best films. To be more accurate, it's the best of the three or four films that I've seen her in so far. It's nothing more than a "Die Hard" clone, and Robert Davi is wasted, but the pacing never lags, the direction has energy and Tweed is fairly convincing as a kick-boxer. (**1/2)
Disclaimer for avid Shannon Tweed fans: there's no nudity whatsoever in this movie. That could be surprising to some, but as I always say: guess there's a first time for everything. This isn't really the kind of sleazy soft-core flick Tweed is usually known for either, it's more of a sleazy dumb action flick. I'll never go as far as calling this screenplay unsubtle, but at one point Tweed's character is described as "Bruce Lee with boobs". Just saying. The whole thing is entertaining enough though, mainly because of the bizarre choice of co-stars. Rowdy Roddy Piper and Andrew Dice Clay, who the hell did the casting on this one? Whoever it was, he or she rules the Earth. The action scenes look pretty good too by the way, Bruce Lee with boobs kicks some serious ass at some point. This movie actually looks like it was meant to be as generic and cheap as possible, but luckily there's too much coolness in it to make that happen.
******SPOILERS****** Andew Dice Clay, Brice, is far more funnier trying
to be an over the top evil villain in "No Contest" then in any of the
stand up comedy acts that he does on stage and on cable TV in this
laughable action drama. The film is about Brice and his cohorts taking
over a beauty contest, the Galaxy, and holding the six finalists as
well as the host and former Galaxy contest winner Sharon Bell, Shannon
Tweed, hostage. In order to let them go Brice wants a ransom of ten
million dollars in diamonds.
Brice rewards the Galaxy contest winner Miss France, Julie Armstrong, with a bullet in the head just as the shocked crowd was expecting him to crown her. Brice and his gang then effectively wiped out the security guards as well as the TV crew who were broadcasting the event on live TV.
A sub-plot soon develops about this whole crazy venture when it's revealed that one of the finalists Miss USA Candy Wilson, Polly Shannon, is the daughter of US Senator Donald Wilson, John Colicos. we are told that Wilson was involved with Brice in a Columbian drug ring and that he had Brice double-crossed and thought that he was killed by the drug dealers. Somehow Brice managed to survived and is now back for revenge. There is also another sub-plot involving one of the finalists Miss Germany, Chandra West, also being in on the hostage taking as well as being Brice's girlfriend.
The gang that Brice has in this adventure is one of the biggest bunch of mixed nuts ever put together in crime movie history with the overly macho Victor, Nicholas Campball, and obnoxious former professional wrestler Roddy Piper, Ice. Ice was so unintentionally funny that he spoiled the little tension that was still left in the movie when he tried to be bad and evil. Instead Ice came across like a cross between the Honeymooners Jacky Gleason and Saturday Night Lives Chevy Chase slipping and falling all over the place.
Even though Robert Davi,Sgt. Crane, is the top star in the movie he was completely overshadowed by the very physical and free-swinging and kicking Shannon Tweed who did all the work dispatching the gang of kidnappers. Davi just limped, he was a disabled Secret Service Agent in the film, along for the ride.
The movie moved toward it's inevitable climax as Sharon almost single handedly kung-fu'ed the Brice gang out of the movie leaving just him left to have it out with her on an hotel elevator for the films dramatic ending. It was next to a miracle that Sharon was able to stand up by then after the pounding that she took, as well as gave, during the movie up to that point.
Shannon Tweed was very exciting and nice to watch in the action scenes as well as in the sexy clothes that she wore. She in fact never took her clothes off during in the movie. Andrew Dice Clay showed what a "Ham Actor" he really is if he was just given the chance like the movie "No Contest" gave him. Robert Davi was the invisible man by going through the entire movie almost unnoticed and the girls held hostage were anything but sympathetic with their unconvincing acting. showing almost no fear at all of their captors, no matter how hard they tried.
The character who I think was the real villain and most believable person in the film was Senator Wilson, John Colicos. Senator Wilson showed what we see in the news every day that if your in power and keep getting re-elected you can get away with anything even murder.
Shannon Tweed as a heroine? Andrew Dice Clay and Roddy Piper as bad guys?
All three in a DIE HARD rip-off taking place at a beauty pagent? Hey, this
isn't going to be a masterpiece, but it sounds like it would be great fun
a trashy movie!
I said "sounds like". But I was sorely disappointed. Tweed doesn't get naked. The action scenes aren't that great. Clay and Piper aren't that campy, and don't seem to be that enthusiastic.
Not the worst DIE HARD rip-off out there. But _nowhere_ the great movie it could have been. I know the premise sounds great, especially with those actors, but trust me, it's disappointing.
"No Contest" is a silly rip-off of "Die Hard".
The plot: Sharon Bell (Tweed) is hosting a beauty pageant when Oz (Clay) and his band of criminals take over the proceedings. Now it's up to Sharon to save the day! This movie is worth-watching for the unintentional comedy. The climax is hilarious! Dice and Tweed battle it out on a rooftop using martial arts. The sight of Clay doing roundhouse kicks and other similar moves is very amusing. Tweed also can't do karate and there's always a long shot instead of a closeup.
The acting by all is horrible, but it's not a big deal because you can't take this seriously.
If you've been asking yourself "Can Andrew "Dice" Clay perform martial arts?" Rest assured. This is the movie you've been waiting for! For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com
Andrew Dice Clay and Shannon Tweed star in this film that is a action film, but like dice's Ford Fairlane, is a funny film past all of it's action. Tweed and Dice make a good pair as the heroine and villain. Not exactly the best acting, and no nudity from Tweed made me feel bad, but what can you do. Because with dice (in a action film so bad it is a hilarious comedy) you can't loose. A-
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I personally thought Andrew Dice Clay made this film an 8 out of 10!!!
I read the reviews and if I have to read another "sheep answer" of this
film being a Die Hard ripoff I am going to scream!!!! First of all I
didn't think it had anything to do with Die Hard. I saw the Die Hard
films and enjoyed them very much. Bruce Willis proved he was a good
actor. Dice proves that he is a very talented comedian that can act
also. I felt Dice showed his diversity being the villain and in Making
the Grade he incorporated his stand up and impressions in this role as
well. I saw an interview with Dice and he told his fans his goal is to
make you laugh till it hurts so you know you saw a comedian. I almost
didn't recognize him in his disguise when I saw the movie on cable and
tuned in late. I was amazed at how well he convinced me he was the
villain. I found myself hoping he would get away. Unlike Brainsmasher
or Ford Fairlane he played his part without being the main character. I
thought Shannon Tweed should have stayed with romantic comedy or drama
as she wasn't convincing as an action star. I loved her in Hot Dog the
Movie and she is an extremely beautiful person. Roddy Piper is the type
of character you either like or you don't and I for one appreciate the
talent it took to be a pro wrestler and I always enjoy seeing him in
film. "They Live" had the coolest ending though with bad one liners.
I am astounded with all the "rip-off" statements that reviewers post because there are few originals for all the re manufacturing of a concept that film makers use. If you are a fan of Andrew Dice Clay you will really enjoy this film as much as I did. If he would have gotten away with his crime that would have been a unique ending instead of the bad guy loosing in the end. Gee, there is a concept, a film that depicts life.
A quick note from the reviewer: A rip off is the same plot with a twist and I didn't see where the plots were simular at all. Where was the yipee kay aye (blankity blank) and cowboy heroism????
The description of this movie made it sound like it was in the Die Hard
mold. But it not only falls far short of those intelligent, elaborate
movies. It does not even measure up to copies like Sudden Death, with
Van Damme. Even a 1994 film called Crackerjack -- with Thomas Ian
Griffith as a cop and Christopher Plummer as a neo-Nazi, clashing at a
mountain resort over a complicated plan to steal millions in mob
diamonds and to cover it up -- which is also hampered by lame writing
and acting, manages to be a better low-budget knockoff than No Contest.
No Contest is about a big-shot bad guy taking over by force of arms the penthouse of a hotel that hosts a beauty pageant in which a Senator's daughter is a contestant, setting bombs all over the entrances, and then demanding millions in diamonds. The villain is "Bryce," Andrew Dice Clay. He talks tough and piles up bodies as the man who had been in charge of the corrupt Senator's Florida transport company. That operation had been in bed with Colombian drug-lords and was sold out to the DEA, after which Bryce supposedly died in a firefight.
The heroine is Shannon Tweed, talking tough and packing Uzis as the former pageant winner who went on to star in martial arts films (it is interesting to see Tweed in more of a straight role than her usual soft-porn fare). She spouts limp lines like "I'll eat a tub of Ben & Jerry's Jerry Garcia ice cream" and, after beating in the head of wrestler Roddy Piper (as bad-guy "Ice") with a satchel of ice cubes, "I iced Ice." On the outskirts is a hapless Robert Davi as a gimp-legged former State Department embassy security specialist who was hired and fired by the Senator after his daughter was taken hostage and who, naturally, in addition to talking big throughout the movie, manages to hang underneath a scenic elevator, horn in on the rooftop action, and get wounded near the end. John Colicos plays the cliché, all-bad Senator. Computer and bomb wizardry is thrown in as well, of course.
The large-scale, high-stakes plot, some cheesy elements, and some recognizable actors create some interest and nudge the movie above one star. But none of this is an excuse for the glib, sloppy "reviews" that give the movie an easy pass, saying, "come on, guys, this is supposed to be bad." That kind of shallow assessment, and the lazy, unintelligent flicking of the "not helpful" button on any review that refuses to settle for it, does nothing but contribute to the impression that moviegoers are suckers. The many other reviews have it right that the writing and acting in this movie are half-baked and half-hearted. As a result, the movie does not even manage to be bad in a fun-to-watch way. Instead, it ends up feeling like a thin, overblown, incompetent disappointment.
This movie is so bad on every level imaginable. It is still entertaining because it is bad enough that I couldn't stop laughing. Tweed and Clay make overacting an art form and are obviously miscast as the heroine and villain. Piper is Piper. He looks like he's going to laugh each time he tries to be menacing. Davi should be ashamed of himself for being in this "Die Hard" clone. You've got four of the worst over-actors in the business, how good can it be? It would rate a "0" as an action movie, and a "4" as a comedy. Just a note for all you Tweed lovers, she's not nude, and I think this is the first Tweed movie with no nudity at all.
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