4.4/10
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18 user 10 critic

No Contest (1995)

Andrew Dice Clay takes over a hotel during a beauty pageant taking several pageant contestants hostage since one of them is a rich senator's daughter.

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
...
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Oz, aka Raymond Ulysses Brice
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Ice
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Vic
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Senator Donald Wilson
James Purcell ...
Captain Henricks
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Nancy Polson
Louis Wrightman ...
Que
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Cal
J.D. Nicholsen ...
Zed (as Jack Nicholsen)
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Candice 'Candy' Wilson, Miss U.S.A.
Bridget Griggs ...
Kellee White, Miss Canada
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Nikki Westhill, Miss England
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Maria, Miss Germany

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Storyline

A beauty contest turns into a hostage situation, when the Miss Galaxy competition is taken over by a gang, demanding a ransom of diamonds. Sharon, a kick-boxing actress, is the host of the show, and the thorn in the terrorists side. Written by Rob Hartill

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

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No rules. No mercy. No escape.


Certificate:

R | See all certifications »
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Details

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Release Date:

2 March 1995 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

A un passo dall'inferno  »

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Did You Know?

Quotes

Oz: Maybe taking over a beauty pageant isn't the best way to gain respect.
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Connections

References Get Smart (1965) See more »

Soundtracks

Ms Galaxy
Written and Performed by Brock Simpson
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User Reviews

 
Poor-quality knock-off action movie
11 July 2007 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

The description of this movie made it sound like it was in the Die Hard mold. But it not only falls far short of those intelligent, elaborate movies. It does not even measure up to copies like Sudden Death, with Van Damme. Even a 1994 film called Crackerjack -- with Thomas Ian Griffith as a cop and Christopher Plummer as a neo-Nazi, clashing at a mountain resort over a complicated plan to steal millions in mob diamonds and to cover it up -- which is also hampered by lame writing and acting, manages to be a better low-budget knockoff than No Contest.

No Contest is about a big-shot bad guy taking over by force of arms the penthouse of a hotel that hosts a beauty pageant in which a Senator's daughter is a contestant, setting bombs all over the entrances, and then demanding millions in diamonds. The villain is "Bryce," Andrew Dice Clay. He talks tough and piles up bodies as the man who had been in charge of the corrupt Senator's Florida transport company. That operation had been in bed with Colombian drug-lords and was sold out to the DEA, after which Bryce supposedly died in a firefight.

The heroine is Shannon Tweed, talking tough and packing Uzis as the former pageant winner who went on to star in martial arts films (it is interesting to see Tweed in more of a straight role than her usual soft-porn fare). She spouts limp lines like "I'll eat a tub of Ben & Jerry's Jerry Garcia ice cream" and, after beating in the head of wrestler Roddy Piper (as bad-guy "Ice") with a satchel of ice cubes, "I iced Ice." On the outskirts is a hapless Robert Davi as a gimp-legged former State Department embassy security specialist who was hired and fired by the Senator after his daughter was taken hostage and who, naturally, in addition to talking big throughout the movie, manages to hang underneath a scenic elevator, horn in on the rooftop action, and get wounded near the end. John Colicos plays the cliché, all-bad Senator. Computer and bomb wizardry is thrown in as well, of course.

The large-scale, high-stakes plot, some cheesy elements, and some recognizable actors create some interest and nudge the movie above one star. But none of this is an excuse for the glib, sloppy "reviews" that give the movie an easy pass, saying, "come on, guys, this is supposed to be bad." That kind of shallow assessment, and the lazy, unintelligent flicking of the "not helpful" button on any review that refuses to settle for it, does nothing but contribute to the impression that moviegoers are suckers. The many other reviews have it right that the writing and acting in this movie are half-baked and half-hearted. As a result, the movie does not even manage to be bad in a fun-to-watch way. Instead, it ends up feeling like a thin, overblown, incompetent disappointment.


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