The Little Rascals (1994)
[Delivering Alfalfa's letter to Darla]
Buckwheat: Dear Darla, I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes! Love, Alfalfa.
Stymie: You only meet your once in a lifetime friends... once in a lifetime.
Alfalfa: Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfalfa!"
Uh Huh: Actually, I've always had a rather extensive vocabulary, not to mention a phenomenal grasp of grammar and a superlative command of syntax. I simply chose not to employ them.
Stymie: I... Stymie... Member in good standing of the He-Man Woman Haters Club... Do solemnly swear to be a he-man and hate women and not play with them or talk to them unless I have to. And especially: never fall in love, and if I do may I die slowly and painfully and suffer for hours - or until I scream bloody murder.
Mr. Welling: [Stymie and Spanky go into a bank trying to get a loan disguised as two Amish men] What is your account...
[looks up and pauses]
Mr. Welling: number?
George "Spanky" McFarland: Uh, seven.
Mr. Welling: [uncertain] Seven?... seven?
Billy "Froggy" Laughlin: [is under Spanky to hold him up] Try eight.
George "Spanky" McFarland: Eight?
Mr. Welling: [still uncertain, the turns stern] Heard enough.
Mr. Welling: [pulls their fake beards and lets them go hitting Stymie and Spanky in their faces]
Mr. Welling: If you were *my* kids, I'd punish you.
Stymie: If we were *your* kids, we'd punish ourselves!
Mr. Welling: [desperate for them to leave] Leave the premises posthaste!
George "Spanky" McFarland: You can't treat people like this, Mister!
Mr. Welling: You're not people, you're kids.
Butch: When's the last time we beat you up?
Alfalfa: Well, let's see... today's the 10th, 30 days hath September, April, June, and November. It's not a leap year... yyyesterday.
Butch: You're due!
George "Spanky" McFarland: Howdy, Mister. Me and my buddies have to build a new clubhouse.
Stymie: We have buy some lumber.
Lumberyard Clerk: What kind?
Alfalfa: I'm usually a lover, not a fighter, but in your case, I'm willing to make an exception!
[punches Butch and he falls in the mud]
Stymie: Porky, you sure know how to make a sand-wich!
Porky: That wasn't sand, that was kitty litter.
Buckwheat: Don't worry, it's pretty fresh.
[about Spanky and Alfalfa's friendship]
Stymie: You're a team, like Bert and Ernie, Superman and Clark Kent, Milli and Vanilli.
A.J. Ferguson: Is that a cowlick, or are you just happy to see me?
Buckwheat: [singing, as he and Porky are jogging to the race] We're goin' to the race, we're gonna win first place, and you have an ugly face!
[Porky giggles happily]
Stymie: You're not thinkin' about Darla, are ya?
Alfalfa: No, of course not.
George "Spanky" McFarland: Good.
Alfalfa: I wonder if she's not thinking of me, too?
Mr. Welling: Six kids, hard-working father, honest and trustworthy. Loan... denied!
Darla: Just as I thought, you are ashamed of me
Alfalfa: I'm not ashamed of you I'm proud of you... I just don't want anyone to see you.
Buckwheat: We've got a dollar, we've got a dollar, we've got a dollar, hey, hey, hey, hey.
[the girls are talking about boys]
[back at the Clubhouse]
Buckwheat: No, we don't!
Alfalfa: All knights ride into battle wearing the colors of their lady fair!
Buckwheat: Hey, Spanky, me and Porky have an idea.
George "Spanky" McFarland: Keep it, you might need it when you grow up!
George "Spanky" McFarland: People, people, we need your money!
Darla: This tastes like somebody poured it through an old boot!
Billy "Froggy" Laughlin: Actually, it's a sneaker!
Alfalfa: Is Spanky home?
Spanky's Dad: Sorry, Alfalfa. Spanky isn't here.
Alfalfa's Dad: I'm sorry, Spanky, Alfalfa's not here.
George "Spanky" McFarland: Darn.
Darla: Waldo, I think we have to turn here!
Waldo: Girls have no sense of direction.
Darla: You know, you're starting to get on my nerves!
Alfalfa: Everything's working out perfectly. The guys are at the swimming hole, and I'm home with a tooth ache. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
George "Spanky" McFarland: [to Alfalfa] How's the tooth ache, bub?
Darla: Alfalfa, that's a part of you I've never seen before!
The Rascals: [singing] We are he-man woman haters/ We feed girls to alligators/ Our clubhouse burned down mighty low/ But we've got a plan to make some dough!
Waldo: We just moved into town. My father bought the oil refinery.
Darla: That explains why you're so refined!
Alfalfa: Yeah, and so oily!
Alfalfa: [to Spanky] Don't talk to me you Benedict Arnold! You, you Judas Priest!
George "Spanky" McFarland: [during the Go-Cart Derby] You snot wads stole our racer!
Butch: Finders keepers, losers suck!
Alfalfa: Ahhh - bite me!
Buckwheat's Mom: [after Alfalfa and Spanky win the race by the matter of Alfalfa's pointed hair] Winner by a hair! *Yes*!
[Butch and Woim look to their rights, then Alfalfa runs away very fast]
Woim: I don't see nothin'.
Butch: Come on, you doink!
[they get out of the go-cart and chase after Alfalfa]
George "Spanky" McFarland: The clubhouse is fried crispy.
Billy "Froggy" Laughlin: Our lives are over.
George "Spanky" McFarland: And it's all your fault!
[Alfalfa stares off toward the now-burned club house]
George "Spanky" McFarland: That's right. Sure is.
A.J. Ferguson: And now it gives me great pleasure to present this beautiful trophy and the prize money... to Alfalfa Switzer... and Spanky McFarland.
Alfalfa: [during the bloopers at the end] I winded my ear up.
A.J. Ferguson: Now the race course is marked off with arrows, and it ends right back here, where it started from.