Dr. Alex Hesse: I've noticed that the side effects of pregnancy are greatly amplified... With the dosage of Expectane that l've required. The morning sickness, the mood swings. Sleepiness, sexual appetite.
Larry: Sexual appetite?
Dr. Alex Hesse: Yesterday, just scooping the middle out of a honeydew melon gave me a - A "Steifen".
Larry: A what? Oh. That's normal. I get 'em all the time.
[Dr. Reddin has found out Alex is carrying her baby]
Dr. Diana Reddin: Why should I be upset! You lie to me. You... STEAL from me. You engage in a utterly selfish, IMMORAL, arrogant stunt without any regard for my feelings whatsoever. What am I supposed to be, grateful? This is just SO MALE!
Dr. Diana Reddin: What do you mean, what am I doing here? It's my baby, not yours!
Larry: Hey. I put it in there.
Dr. Diana Reddin: It's MY EGG!
Larry: Yeah, just 'cause your egg's in some guy doesn't make you the mother!
Dr. Diana Reddin: Do you have your own room?
Dr. Alex Hesse: Yes. Why?
Dr. Diana Reddin: Well, call me old-fashioned, but I'll be damned if I'm having a child with a man I've never even slept with.
[Dr. Hesse has to explain why he looks so 'masculine']
Dr. Alex Hesse: When I was a sportswoman on the East German Olympic Track and Field team, they dispensed anabolic steroids as freely as here in America they dole out Gator-Ade.
Noah Baines: Let me shake hands with the man who would be Mom.
Larry: You think you're the first clown whoever woke up and said "I'm bored, I think I'll have a kid!"