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|Index||13 reviews in total|
If you're looking for an entertaining fighting movie, avoid this one at all costs. Do you want to see a movie that's so bad that it becomes an unintentional comedy? Then you also should avoid this one, because it's so utterly bad that it's not even funny. The movie's plot circles around illegal, underground street-arena fights where the fighters use many kinds of brutal weapons and kill each other. Sound familiar? This has been done many times, but never as bad as this. Most of the fighters are really unfit and shabby people, and there aren't much that reminds me of true martial arts skills. The story makes no sense, and is just full of plot holes. I just don't get why Lorenzo Lamas stars in this. He's not exactly the best action star around, but this was a disaster even by his standards.
I mean...who can think of this piece of crap as a serious
when you start watching a film with a name as absurd as
GLADIATOR COP you know why you are doing it...for FUN, so grab
your remote and FF to the fighting scenes...because the rest is
GLADIATOR COP is in the category of good-bad (horrible) movies, with abysmal scrip, worst acting, useless editing and cheap special effects...but also you have some of the silliest sword fights I've ever seen...in which other movie you can see a fat ninja battling an east L.A. mobster? Or Lorenzo "snake eater" Lamas dressed as a Zorro fighting against a masked russian with a huge sword?
This film has more cheek than any I have seen. It seems to be made almost entirely from left over footage from The Swordsman. It is like watching outtake footage. The plot has been extended to include a new baddie, but the relationship between the two main characters bounces around in context all over the place, continuity is almost non-existent and you keep wondering where in time and space the activity is happening. I guess this is recycling taken to new levels. However watching The Swordsman and then Gladiator Cop is an interesting exercise in picking up what you have seen already, what really belongs in the first film and why you aren't doing something more productive.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
As so many other reviewers of Gladiator Cop have pointed out: This
movie is the victim of a despicable crime. A terrible crime that
befalls so many of the greatest movies of this genre - bad reviews and
ratings. I'll leave this a spoiler free review as I would never
undermine your experience of this movie, should you not have had the
pleasure of watching it yet.
After viewing this stunningly and amazing piece of art I find myself mystified as to why so many qualities of this movie have been overlooked and set aside for a measly 2.9 on the IMDb user rating. What part of this movie is there not to like? It has everything needed for being the best movie ever produced by man: A complex story; amazing casting; superb acting; never-seen-before special effects; unbelievable stunts; music that is simply not of this world; deeply philosophical themes and a celebration to all creators of movie-art such as this - for making the movie industry a worthwhile entertainment investment for hundreds of millions of viewers around the globe!
These actors play their parts so well, that you virtually become them. You feel their pain and sorrow, most certainly not unlike a traditional Greek tragedy - and ironically so, this is also one of the many themes of this moving picture art. A celebration of old stories, reanimated in the times of new by, undoubtedly, one of the best actors of our time: Lorenzo Lamas. His performance as Andrew Garrett leaves no question as to weather Lamas was at the peak of his career when he stared in the movie. Simply outstanding.
My vocabulary comes to a loss when describing all the complex interplays of the movie and underlying sub stories. There are simply no words worthy of describing such a geniusly engineered storyline. As the story unfolds one cannot help to see how everything comes together in a supreme unity that forces certain questions to arise. This movie does not only seek to entertain but also transform the fortunate viewer into something better.
I could go on forever describing how much joy this movie has brought into my life but I would rather strongly recommend that you obtain this piece of cinema and watch it as soon as possible. There is no limit as to how much effect it could have on your life!
I don't think I've ever seen a Lorenzo Lamas movie, and judging from
this effort I haven't missed much. Man, that guy loves his hair. He
plays a cop with unexplained psychic powers who can envisage murder
victims deaths by touching their corpses. It seems he's the
reincarnation of Alexander the Great, whose mighty sword has been
stolen by a dastardly museum proprietor. The dastardly museum
proprietor is using it to help him win bets on illegal fights as you
The story holds together about as well as a bubble in a hurricane and has about as much substance. Apparently it's made up largely from the footage left over from an earlier Lamas movie so it's clear the makers weren't fired by a desire to make a lasting contribution to cinema's fine heritage. No sir, these guys were out to make a quick buck. Characters appear and disappear without explanation and do stupid things for no reason. One of them even sleeps with Lamas and his hair.
Yeah, no doubt it's weirdest movie I've ever seen. Combined from archive footage of his predecessor, it's unique, totally dumb and senseless. It may be interesting only to lovers of B-grade underground fighting, but that's it. CGA are lame, acting is gone, James Hong is pointless. There is only one good thing in this stinker - music. It's better than whole movie itself. I'm not a big fan of b-movies, but I liked Swordsman (1993), the predecessor. However this one, is shame for cinema. Oh, yeah... There one scene, in which Astrid Falconi shows her muscles, while making love to some guy. That's was only thing that was interesting. The production hadn't enough money to show her breasts, which is too bad. Good luck for next time.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*
I bought this one from Blockbuster for three bucks. A sword is stolen from a museum. Not just any sword, Alexander the Great's sword. It's all done in the name of money. Anyone who wields the sword can't lose. So the greedy museum director bets it all on his fighter in many secret sword fights. Meanwhile, Lorenzo Lamas is a cop investigating sword deaths. Lamas is plagued by visions from long ago. Apparently he is the reincarnation of Alexander the Great. The sword is calling him. Then there is another character who wants revenge for being killed thousands of years ago. He wants his fighter Mongol to face Lamas so he can get the sword and blah blah blah...
It sounds like there is a lot going on in this movie but there isn't. Basically there are six or seven gladiator fights. Lamas isn't involved in any fighting until the end. The fight scenes are OK. They are interesting in a B-movie kind of way. You've got guys dressed in black executioner outfits, guys with S&M masks wielding gigantic battle axes etc. As a movie, it's scatterbrained and goofy. But the fights are decent. Just don't see it if you have to pay more than three bucks for it.
(27%) An unsurprisingly crap movie - but what a title. Apparently this uses footage from another movie and it really shows, for if were a set of teeth it would badly need braces. The cop in question is an X-men style mutant who can solve crimes by simply touching the victim's dead body, so why he isn't decorated as the best cop on the planet is a mystery as he visits morgues and wraps up a case within mere seconds. Plot-wise this is garbage, but the illegal fights to the death are actually quite good fun to watch as some of the guys taking part are huge and dressed in some ridiculous outfits wielding massive comedy weapons. Between the fights there's only the lovely Claire Stansfield and the always watchable James Hong to keep the wheels from falling off. My advice, skip to the fights or don't bother.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Andrew Garrett is back! Who's Andrew Garrett? And why is he back?
Apparently he's the Canadian cop played by Lorenzo Lamas who first
appeared in The Swordsman (1992). This time around, Andrew is trying to
get to the bottom of a missing museum piece, a sword said to have
belonged to Alexander the Great. Diabolical museum director - and how
often do you get a chance to hear that description of a human being -
Chris Kilos (George Touliatos - or is it George Touliatos as Chris
Kilos; not really sure) has the sword and does what any rational person
would do if they had Alexander the Great's sword - he gives it to a
hulking meathead named Jodar (Clements) so he can win in illegal
underground fighting matches that take place in parking lots. But when
the mysterious fight promoter Parmenion (Hong) enters rival meathead
Mongol (Robbins) into the competition, things really heat up because
Andrew Garrett must now go undercover and fight him. Also there's some
mumbo-jumbo about how Parmenion and Garrett are reincarnated from past
historical figures and Garrett dreams about their historical
encounters. What will happen to Jodar and Mongol? Oh yeah, and Andrew
Garrett? Find out today, if you can...
The original Night at the Museum (2006), Gladiator Cop - not to be confused with Karate Cop (1991) or Samurai Cop (1989) - is one of those "30% New Footage!" deals, a completely incoherent mishmash of recycled footage from the first movie, cobbled together with some new footage and perhaps some stuff left on the cutting room floor. Odds are it was left on the cutting room floor for a reason, and rehashing and microwaving the blended contents doesn't necessarily make what you'd call a cohesive film. At least not in the traditional sense of what we've come to know that to mean. Perhaps the biggest question as to the existence of this thing called GLADIATOR COP: THE SWORDSMAN 2 (which in itself is a pretty big red flag) is...WHY? Was The Swordsman such a huge hit that it demanded a sequel three years later? That all seems weird by today's standards, but it's crucial to remember that things were very different in the video store era. People were more willing to take chances. It was probably inexpensive to create this movie, slap a name like Lamas on the box cover, and you might just get a return on a relatively meager investment, what with video stores in full effect around the world. But what exactly is going on? Evidently the character of the museum director, Chris Kilos, was in the first Swordsman film...and the filmmakers this time around thought, "You know what, let's tell the continuing story of the museum director. Fans are definitely going to want that." Then we get to some Lionheart (1990)-inspired parking lot fights, where characters such as Mongol have cartoonishly huge swords and axes. His freakin' sword is longer than his body height. Other fighters have Raphael-style sais or those small crescent weapons on a straight handle. We also get treated to "throwing star vision" so we can know what it would feel like to be flung by, and at, a meathead. The fights are announced by an Ernest Borgnine lookalike who speaks not into a microphone, but a small plastic megaphone attached to a rope. His announcements have that fast food drive-thru unintelligible static so you can't tell what the poor man is saying. But Lamas' hair remains wildly awesome. So that straightens things out. Much like Lamas might do with his hair.
It seems this movie is fairly comfortable with its incoherence, unlike the first film, which at least tried to be coherent. But this movie is far sillier, which in our book might just make it the superior piece of entertainment, but if the movie had more Lamas (he's gone for long stretches) and was a little more coherent, it might be better and would appeal to more people. So as a viewer you're not really hooked in, but you're not really checked out, you're kind of left floating in the middle (at least during the less silly scenes). So Gladiator Cop: The Swordsman II qualifies as being Grincoherent (which means incoherent in a good way), a term we coined. But while it is Grincoherent to die-hard video junkies like ourselves, to the majority of the viewing populace it will no doubt be confusing and unsatisfying. It all depends on your tolerance for nonsense.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
The movie Gladiator Cop is an awesome cinematic weapon. It's force will
undoubtedly hit you if you choose to watch it - you're in for a
roller-coaster ride through the mean streets of USA.
Andrew Garrett is a cop. His task: To uncover a secret underground fighting tournament, where only the winner walks away alive. (Not unlike the one showcased in Jean-Claude Van Damme's "Lionheart") He experiences powerful visions of sword combat and death (his own), when he comes in contact with numerous dead bodies that turn up on the streets. *** Spoiler Alert *** We soon discover that there's a mysterious link between the sword used to kill them, and our main character in the shape of powerful actor Lorenzo Lamas. It appears that Andrew is in fact Alexander The Great reincarnated, and the above mentioned sword his own - which explains why he is strangely drawn to it. Movie lovers are in for a treat of martial arts display once Lorenzo Lamas, an expert fighter, gets the sword into his possession.
I am genuinely amazed by the way writer/director Nick Rotundo succeeded in merging a 2000 year old warrior legend with present day America. Linking ancient heroics with modern day fighting skills, set against the backdrop of a modern American society in moral and ethical decay. Of course this powerful artistic dare would not be what it is without the amazing on-screen presence of Lorenzo Lamas, established star of such TV successes as "Renegade" and "Falcon Crest".
All in all, this movie is a true celebration for all cinema-enthusiasts, and can actually be enjoyed by people in all ages, despite the rawness and ferocity of the society being portrayed.
10/10 on my scale.
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