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The Flintstones (1994) Poster

Quotes

[repeated line]

Fred Flintstone: Yabba dabba doo!

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Barney Rubble: You're afraid to tell Wilma, aren't you?

Fred Flintstone: [skids the car to an abrupt halt] Afraid? Now let's get this straight, Rubble, I don't need permission from my wife to make a decision. In my cave, I reign supreme, *su-PREME*!

Barney Rubble: I won't tell her, Fred.

Fred Flintstone: [relieved] Thanks, pal.

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Fred Flintstone: I'm only one man.

Barney Rubble: Not from the back.

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Betty Rubble: Barney, do you have to do everything Fred does?

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Fred Flintstone: I just want my old job back and my old life.

Barney Rubble: Hey, Fred.

[waves Fred over and whispers in his ear]

Fred Flintstone: Oh, and two weeks paid vacation for all the men in the quarry, an annual cost-of-living increase, and those little packets of ketchup in the lunch room.

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Wilma: I cannot believe you just sat there and let them walk out on us.

Fred Flintstone: At least I can walk around the house in my underwear again.

Wilma: And that is more important to you than 20 years of friendship?

Fred Flintstone: It is on a hot day.

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Cliff Vandercave: Do you know what we do up here?

Fred Flintstone: Well, me and the guys have always wondered.

Cliff Vandercave: We interface, Flintstone. We conceptualize, tenderize, prioritize.

Fred Flintstone: When do we eat?

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Grizzled Man: Wait, do you know this guy?

Barney Rubble: Know him? He used to be my best friend. Heck, if it weren't for me, this whole mess probably wouldn't have happened.

Grizzled Man: Thanks for telling us. We could've made a very big mistake. Hang both of them!

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Cliff Vandercave: I want you to fire Bernard Rubble.

Fred Flintstone: Done! Wait, fire Barney, why?

Cliff Vandercave: Well, he scored the lowest on the company aptitude test. He's an imbecile. The company can't afford to have dead weight like him on the payroll.

Fred Flintstone: But Mr. Vandercave, he's got a new kid, a mortgage, I'm his best friend, I can't.

Cliff Vandercave: Look, Fred, if you don't fire him, I will, and then I'll fire you.

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Sharon Stone: Can I get you anything? Coffee?

Fred Flintstone: Sure.

Sharon Stone: [seductively] How would you like it?

Fred Flintstone: In a cup?

Sharon Stone: Bold choice, Mr. Flintstone! You'll go far in this company.

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Fred Flintstone: Barney Rubble has been my neighbor, my lodge brother and my best friend since the first time I went through the fifth grade.

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[Dino grabs one of the steaks off the grill and runs away]

Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn, you like your steak rare?

Barney Rubble: Yeah.

Fred Flintstone: That one's yours.

[Barney chases Dino]

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Cliff Vandercave: Son of a Brachiosaurus!

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Barney Rubble: It's like a dream come true. A son. Somebody to carry on the proud name of Rubble. Think I'll be a good daddy, Fred?

Fred Flintstone: Well, you're bound to find something you're good at.

Barney Rubble: Yeah sure, but...

Barney Rubble: [realizes what he said] Hey!

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Pearl Slaghoople: Somebody has to look after my daughter and grandchild, while you're out carousing with a bunch of Neanderthals.

Fred Flintstone: Oh, really? Well, for your information, the lodge no longer accepts Neanderthals.

Pearl Slaghoople: He robs your nest egg to bail out that little troll next door, while my daughter has to wash her clothes in the river.

Fred Flintstone: I've got half a mind...!

Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, don't flatter yourself!

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Mrs. Pyrite: Mr. and Mrs. Rubble, this is your little boy.

[Presents Bamm-Bamm]

Betty Rubble: Oh, Barney, isn't he precious?

Fred Flintstone: [aside to Wilma] Precious? They'd have been better off with the monkey.

Wilma Flintstone: Fred!

Betty Rubble: Does he have a name?

Mrs. Pyrite: Bamm-Bamm.

Barney Rubble: Is that short for something?

Mrs. Pyrite: Bamm-Bamm-Bamm. You're going to have to take it slowly with this one. He doesn't speak yet and is a little skittish around humans, but, then again, I would be too if I'd been raised by wild Mastadons. Ha ha ha.

Betty RubbleBarney Rubble: Mastadons?

Mrs. Pyrite: Let's not nitpick! A mammal's a mammal.

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Store Manager: Mrs. Rubble, there seems to be a slight problem with your credit card.

Betty Rubble: Really? What's that?

Store Manager: It's no damn good!

[Breaks the card with a hammer]

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Fred Flintstone: Sorry I'm late. Had car trouble, I picked up a nail.

[Shows everyone a bandaid on his dirty foot]

Mr. Slate: Thank you for sharing that with us, Mr. Flagstone. May we continue?

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Fred Flintstone: [Holding a miniature model of houses the quarry plans to build] I hate to bust your bubble, but if you build houses this small, who's gonna live in them?

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Wilma Flintstone: We have scrimped and saved for that money, and every time we get a little bit ahead, you have to go blow it on some hair-brained scheme!

Fred Flintstone: Now see here, Wilma! In this cave, I am the king! And...

Wilma Flintstone: And what, Fred?

Fred Flintstone: And you have every right to know, my queen.

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Fred Flintstone: We'll make new friends, there's 4,000 other people in this world!

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[after Cliff has announced that Fred had won the executive job]

Fred Flintstone: Barney, quick, what's my name?

Barney Rubble: Fred Flintstone!

Fred Flintstone: Don't toy with me, Barn.

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Barney Rubble: So, Fred, what am I gonna call you now? Boss? Chief?

Fred Flintstone: No, simply Your Highness will do.

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Fred Flintstone: Miss Stone, I'd like you to meet my wife, Mrs. Flagstone, and our daughter... uh... uh... isn't she beautiful? My family.

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Fred Flintstone: This is my office? This is my chair?

Cliff Vandercave: Yeah, not to throw too much at you on your first day, but this big thing here is your desk.

Fred Flintstone: My desk?

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Barney Rubble: Tell me something, Mr. Vice President, what's a graduated inventory plan? How about supply and demand? Hey Fred, what's two and two?

Fred Flintstone: ...I didn't come here to talk business. I'm out with my wife. Now get me a clean spoon.

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Fred Flintstone: Take a memo. Cliff, let's play golf. We can prioritize, conceptualize and tenderize. Executively yours, Fred Fliiii -

[falls backwards out of his chair]

Dictabird: Are there six or seven I's in 'Fliiii - '?

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Cliff Vandercave: Look at those pathetic worms burrowing their lives away. Do you know why I'm up here and they're down there, Miss Stone?

Sharon Stone: Because you lied on your résumé?

Cliff Vandercave: No. Because I have vision, and right now I have a vision of you and me dripping with coconut oil on a beach in Rockapulco with Mr. Slate's fortune to keep us company.

Sharon Stone: I'm glad we see eye to eye.

Cliff Vandercave: And somewhere down there is the ignorant stooge who will make all my schemes come true.

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Sharon Stone: I'm worried, Cliff, I think Mr. Flintstone is smarter than we thought.

Cliff Vandercave: Ha. He'd have to be to get himself dressed in the morning.

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Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, you poor, poor dear. You could have married Elliot Firestone, the man who invented the wheel.

[gives Fred a nasty glare]

Pearl Slaghoople: Instead you picked Fred Flintstone, the man who invented the excuse!

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Barney Rubble: [On Fred's first day of being a VP] Well, guess this is it, Mr. Flintstone. Go get 'em, big guy.

Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn.

Barney Rubble: Yeah, Fred?

Fred Flintstone: Could you spot me a couple bucks for lunch? I'm a little short.

Barney Rubble: You're right, Fred. Nothing's changed.

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Mr. Slate: Gentlemen, please, I can't endorse this modernization if it means laying off all those workers. Some of them have been here since the beginning of time.

Cliff Vandercave: What if I could quadruple your income?

Mr. Slate: I'll miss them. You were saying?

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Cliff Vandercave: Through the miracle of geothermal power, the raw material is elevated to the second stage where our steam-powered conveyor belts carry...

Executive in Boardroom: Steam? He's a mad man!

Cliff Vandercave: *Steam*-powered conveyor belts, carry the product...

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Betty Rubble: You know, Barney, life is funny. One minute people are your best friends, and the next you're fantasizing they're being ripped apart by a pack of rabid wolves.

Barney Rubble: You too, huh?

Betty Rubble: Oh, Barney, they've changed. I hardly know them since Fred's become a big shot.

Barney Rubble: And it should be us squanderin' all our money and treatin' our friends like dirt.

Betty Rubble: What do you mean?

Barney Rubble: Nothin'. Just sour grapes, I guess.

Betty Rubble: Don't worry, Barney. It's gonna get better. One day, we'll look back on all this, and we'll laugh.

Barney Rubble: Gee, I hope so, Betty, 'cause tomorrow they got me testing shark repellent.

[they both grimace]

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[after the bowling team drinks from the giant beer mug and howls]

Hoagie: [grinning] It doesn't get any better than this!

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Joe Rockhead: Whatcha got today?

Hoagie: Lizard & onions. Want half?

Joe Rockhead: Sure!

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Fred Flintstone: Well, I'm not going to jail, but it won't be easy finding a new job. What kind of reference is Mr. Slate gonna give me after I destroyed his quarry.

Betty Rubble: Aw Fred, it wasn't your fault, I'm sure Mr. Slate will understand.

Mr. Slate: Flint-stoooooooooone!

Fred Flintstone: Sure, now he gets my name right.

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Wilma: [when Barney and Betty are waiting for their adopted child] Now, Fred. Don't say anything like what you said when you saw my sister's child.

Fred Flintstone: The kid had a tail. What was I supposed to do? Pretend I didn't notice it?

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Mr. Slate: How did this happen?

Fred Flintstone: Well, it all started when I lent money to Barney so he could adopt a baby.

Mr. Slate: Not that. How did this happen to Cliff?

[shows Cliff trapped in a hard rough substance]

Fred Flintstone: Well, the machine went haywire and the rocks got crushed up and mixed with the water, and it got onto Cliff. Mr. Slate, I'm sorry.

Mr. Slate: Sorry? I love this stuff! I'm gonna name it after my daughter, Concretia.

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Barney Rubble: You know, Fred, I hear that eatin' too much red meat is bad for you.

Fred Flintstone: What a load of bunk! My father ate it every day of his life and he lived to the ripe old age of thirty-eight.

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Wilma: This has gone far enough! After everything that we've done for you! We took you into our home!

Betty Rubble: Oh, yeah, so you could show off every chance you got. You used to be such nice people but now... you're just a couple of rich snobs! Hmph!

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[as Fred and Pearl argue]

Wilma Flintstone: You two should be ashamed of yourselves!

Pearl Slaghoople: I got my hands full just being ashamed of him.

Fred Flintstone: You got your hands full when you scratch your neck!

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Cliff Vandercave: And in the words of my beloved mother: I'm taking the money and moving to a warmer climate.

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Fred Flintstone: What can I do? I gotta think of something...

[a thought appears showing Pearl Slaghoople struggling in the mouth of a Brontosaurus, Fred giggles]

Fred Flintstone: Not now.

[the thought disappears and then another thought appears, showing what he did with that model of the machine and then he snaps his fingers]

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[first lines]

Foreman: Hey, back to work! You guys had a break two days ago!

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[last lines]

Fred Flintstone: Wilma? WILMAAAAAA!

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[Cliff is on the ground, scrambling to pick up the money Sharon Stone hit him with. Fred walks up and steps on his hand]

Fred Flintstone: Oh, Cliff? It's time for you and me to "interface"!

[punches his own hand threateningly]

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Dictabird: I should have signed with Disney.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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