|Page 1 of 3:||  |
|Index||30 reviews in total|
The day after I saw this movie, I called my friend Cass in Florida and
"Cass, you have to see this movie." "It's that good?" "No, it's that
There is no better way to describe this movie. It has the audacity to say 'Dinos genetically bred and trained by' instead of 'SFX by' in the credits, and has the only drunken redneck T-Rex in history. (Of course he is, just look at that pot-belly)
I have to confess that I only rented the movie because it had Dinos and girls in leather bikinis, 2 things near and dear to my heart, but after about 20 minutes of watching, I actually put away my alcohol, turned off the computer game I was playing and restarted the movie so I could catch every last horrible, horrible detail.
For those that like 'So bad it's good' movies as I do, then this is the ultimate 'must-see' movie.
This movie is so bad, that it's actually somewhat likable. This has everything that a bad movie should have, including horrible dialogue, laughable special effects, and women who were cast because of their cup sizes. But unlike many atrocious movies, this one didn't bore me, and I actually enjoyed a few scenes. I wouldn't go so far as to recommend it, but it does have a certain charm.
*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*
It's 10:00 p.m. on Friday night and I just had a shot of jack and finished off my third beer. This party is out of control! I just watched "Dinosaur Island" followed by an episode of "Black Tie Nights" on Cinemax. This couple was on a date and then they had sex. That's the show. Genius eh?
Speaking of genius, "Dinosaur Island" was a T&A spectacular. Three army guys crash land on the island of the prehistoric breast implants. They must prove themselves worthy of their big bouncy affection by slaying the really cheap dinosaur that prowls the island. The girls are confused by the new arrivals in their midst. "What is this thing you men call love?" The guys are ready to shed the cavegirl's clothes and get this party started on a Saturday night.
Once again, I must give praise where it's due. Michelle Bauer is the real deal. As the women pair off with the men, Michelle chooses the fattest loser to hook up with. She gives hope to all of us dorks out here every time she rips off her bra. Thank you Michelle for getting naked for us again. There are plenty of other women who take their tops off as well. So that's good too.
All of the dinosaur scenes were ridiculously cheap but I didn't mind. You don't think I actually watched this for the dinosaurs do you? Of course not. Anyway, "Dinosaur Island" is a good T&A flick. It's worth a look for B-movie lovers.
One last thing, keep an eye out for Nikki Fritz who shows up at the very beginning of the movie. I thought she looked familiar but I didn't realize it was her until after the credits rolled. She is the High Priestess who has her breasts painted blue and dances around like a stripper. Apparently the dinosaur is attracted to the human sacrifice by the hypnotic gyrations of cavewoman pole dancing.
This movie is an ideal example of what viewers of straight-to-cable late
night Skin-O-Max want to see....a wafer-thin plot, lots of boob action, and
things exploding all over the place.
It starts with four stranded army soldiers washing up on a seemingly deserted island. Soon they are surrounded by a group of warrior women and hauled off to the main village. They are given the choice of fighting the big dinosaur (the name escapes me right now) or death. While the older soldier (Ross Hagen) thinks up a strategy, the other 3 go off, perusing the all-female village. They stumble upon 3 lovely villagers, and of course pair off with them. The ladies don't have regular names so the guys invent some for them....right out of a men's magazine. Miss April (Antonia Dorian), Miss May (Griffen Drew, who look simply fabulous in this movie), and Miss June (Michelle Bauer). After that, the plot pretty much goes as expected: each soldier scores with their respective woman, kill the dinosaur, and have some more sex later. Even Ross Hagen's character gets some from the queen of the village! What an ending! It's a short, 80-something minute film which will leave you in stitches with how bad it really is. Truly a treat for those who watch Cinemax Late Night (commonly called Skin-O-Max).
A military plane carrying a hardnose officer bringing some deserters back for a court-martial crashes in the ocean. The survivors make their way to a deserted island, where they discover a tribe of semi-nude, large-breasted cavewomen and are menaced by a tyrannosaurus rex. That plot's been used in several movies from the '50s, but fortunately this movie has much more nudity than those films did. The women are gorgeous, most of them get naked, none of them can act (gee, what a surprise...), the special effects aren't as cheesey as one would expect from a Fred Olen Ray film. Altogether, I'd rate this 0 for acting, 0 for plot, 0 for a coherent script, 8 for gratuituous nudity. It's not a bad way to spend an hour or so on a Friday night with a six-pack. as long as you don't expect a whole lot. P.S.: If the T-Rex in this movie looks familiar, that's because it's the same one Corman used in his earlier movie, "Carnosaur."
Just reading the credits alone for this film caught the eyes of the Eye Candy Hall of Fame academy. It is a joint product of the auteurs Wynorski and Olen Ray, known for their unique visual style, classy special effects, and strong women characters. It stars All-Century team beauty Michelle Bauer. It has dinosaurs on an island roaming free before they were confined to zoos. Upon watching the film, the real pleasure was the star-turning performances of Antonia Dorian and Griffin Drew. Ms. Drew is a very gifted actor and earned 2nd team All-Century status with her charm, which was especially evident during the healing scene. All three leading ladies and some minor characters help elevate this film beyond just a travelogue. We don't know how, but we would all enjoy seeing more of these lovely women.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
The late night movie channels, home of such vast quantities (and I do
mean the last two syllables of the word "quantities") of tripe, beckon.
And I find Dinosaur Island, courtesy of not just Jim Wynorsky, but also
Fred Olen Ray. If you recognise those names, you will know exactly the
sort of film we're in for. And it ain't good.
A small group of military men crash land on a tropical-ish island. This island is inhabited by a) dinosaurs (hence the title), and b) attractive young women in fur bikinis. Conveniently, the number of young women is the same as the number of military men. A plot - I can't believe I have dignified it with the word "plot" - involves fighting the dinosaurs and having sex with the women.
Let me say at the outset that this film isn't entirely without merit. There are actually some witty lines in the script here and there, Antonia Dorian is gorgeous in (and out of) her fur bikini, and there is a fairly large scale dinosaur model/puppet/suit which features.
Less praiseworthy, but worth remarking on, are the presence of Michelle Bauer (overexposed in more ways than several, but still decorative) and Griffin Drew (including implants), and a small quantity of extremely bad stop-frame animation used to bring certain dinosaurs to, er, life.
The big trick used here, though, is forced perspective. Thus, there is no need to finance a giant egg prop - you use a normal egg near the camera and have your actors 50 yards away point in the right direction to make it look as if they are pointing at the egg near the camera. Or they run away, as if chased by a dinosaur, while a small scale dinosaur close to the camera is manipulated to look as though it is chasing them. Of course, it helps if both the close and distant items are focused the same. And it helps as if the dinosaur model doesn't look as if you just bought it from a toy shop. And it helps if your models aren't grounded in normal sized (and scaled) foliage, thus making them look like the models they are.
The cheap, tatty special effects are dreadful. The film as a whole is preposterous. And yet it has a cheesy good nature which makes it oddly appealing...
I can't help but enjoy this movie. It's a jiggle-movie that manages to make fun of jiggle-movies. Whether or not this was intended is irrelevant. One can very plainly tell that the cast and crew are NOT taking themselves seriously on this project. The dinosaurs appear to be recycled from the Carnosaur movies, with no regard for achieving realism. The filmmakers have a great time using the oldest effects tricks in the book for this movie. Again, like a lot of movies, this one is the type that is best enjoyed by those who enjoy a good, BAD movie.
in this Jim wynorski/Fred Olen ray co production,military police transporting misfit soldiers crash land on an uncharted prehistoric island,with rubbery dinosaurs and sexy busty cave girls,its silly stuff the special effects are pretty bad except for the t-Rex(some stock footage from carmosaur)the b-movie cast includes;Richard gabai,Ross hagen,Antonia Dorian,Becky lebeau,Michelle Bauer,Nikki fritz,and griffin drew.the cave girls speak perfect English and look very good in their prehistoric bikinis.its co produced by roger corman.dinosaur island is'nt bad,its entertaining if you overlook all the flaws.cornball all the way with some nudity,but who's complaining.sexy Nikki fritz is in the opening scene her body and face painted blue,look for all natural beauty;Becky Le beau as the Dino sacrifice.i may be crazy but ill give dinosaur island 6 out of 10.
Q: Who has two thumbs extended upward after watching "Dinosaur Island"
on Netflix? A: The re-animated zombie corpse of Roger Ebert. Oh, and
me, though that would make it four thumbs, not two.
You know that you're in the heart of Cheese-and-Sleaze Land when a movie begins with a closeup of a wild-eyed, wild-haired jungle beast of a woman screaming like a banshee at the camera while wearing little more than thongs and a thong, bare-breasted except for body paint in a color bearing a surprising resemblance to Boise State Bronco Blue. Any hope you may have for this film's potential to elevate and celebrate life vanishes a moment later, when the camera cuts away to two parallel lines of scantily clad women brandishing spears and chanting rhythmically before a rough-hewn altar, upon which a woman writhing in a fur bikini struggles against the vines tethering her arms to the altar's towering sides (though even a casual inspection reveals that the vines are looped around her wrists, not tied, and would probably fall limply to the ground if she would just open her hands and turn loose of them).
Why is she tied--er, looped to the altar? She's a Snackable in a fur-bikini wrapper, a squirming sacrifice to the Great One--a snarling, bellowing Tyrannosaurus Rex rendered in stop-motion animation so shaky and erratic as to call to mind an image of Michael J. Fox doing an impression of Elvis dancing to "All Shook Up." With more gratuitous nudity than one of Calvin Klein's wet dreams; with dime-store plastic dinosaurs brought to life through ham-handed, conspicuous special effects that are almost capable of momentarily startling a slow-witted four-year-old child; and with acting more stiff, self-conscious, and unnatural than a break-dancing Mitt Romney, "Dinosaur Island" is 85 minutes of mediocrity sinking into banality under the weight of the director's apathy and the actors' indifference, most notable in the end for its almost complete lack of talent, wit, or imagination.
I ranked it four out of five stars on Netflix, in the hope that Netflix will start tossing more flicks like it my way. I would've given it five stars, but I don't want Netflix to think that I lack discerning taste and a refined artistic sensibility.
|Page 1 of 3:||  |
|Plot summary||Ratings||External reviews|
|Parents Guide||Plot keywords||Main details|
|Your user reviews||Your vote history|