The Cool Surface (1994) 3.8
A writer returns to Hollywood after finishing his novel in the wilderness. Still smarting from his girlfriend's suicide and his publisher's criticisms of his novel, he becomes intrigued by ... See full summary » Director:Erik AnjouWriter:Erik Anjou |
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Most easily categorised as one of the tedious straight-to-video erotic thrillers that proliferated in the wake of Paul Verhoeven's glossy and salacious 1992 bonk-buster Basic Instinct, the little-known The Cool Surface (released in 1994, but apparently shot some time before) is most notable for giving an early leading role to Teri Hatcher, shortly before she found initial fame in TV's Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. Made cheaply, and apparently with no discernible audience in mind, this wholly unconvincing tale of casting couch sexual favours, jealousy, and revenge features the future Desperate Housewives star as a ruthless and slutty Hollywood hopeful who becomes an object of obsession for unhinged screenwriter Robert Patrick (Terminator 2: Judgment Day). Along with the utterly wretched Good Cop, Bad Cop (1994), a film notable solely for featuring Baywatch's Pamela Anderson disrobing in a couple grubby sex scenes, The Cool Surface was the most passed-around videotape at my school for a short period in the mid-1990s, when Hatcher, previously known only for her appearances in Tango & Cash and Seinfeld ('they're real, and they're spectacular'), briefly became one of the world's most-lusted-after women with her gutsy, busty Lois Lane. 'Teri Hatcher bares all!' shrilled the VHS's cover, although that is hardly true of her contribution to this film's anodyne 'dirty bits'; the director was clearly (and unaccountably) more interested in the Patrick character's disintegrating mental state than he was in Hatcher's cans, and whilst the flick does get mildly interesting with a bit of sub-David Lynch surrealism, that certainly wasn't what was most notable to the phalanx of pubescent boys who doubtless fast-forwarded through the endless darkly-lit dialogue scenes, being careful not to skip past the next three-second shot of Superman's girlfriend with her top off. It wasn't long before my friends and I went back to watching the Steven Seagal action spectacular Under Siege instead; as well as featuring another Baywatch icon, Erika Eleniak, bursting topless out of a birthday cake, that was actually an entertaining film too. Ah, halcyon days...