Clifford: Uncle Martin, save me!... Uncle Martin?
Martin Daniels: I'm thinking it over!
Clifford: Please?, I'm scared!
Martin Daniels: Well I'm scared about what might happen if I save you. You know, I should do mankind a tremendous favor and let that dinosaur eat you. I mean, who knows what horrors you might unleash, or what if you got your hands on some plutonium?
Martin Daniels: [mocking Clifford] I just made the bestest nuclear bomb in the whole wide world.
Martin Daniels: [gets furious again] I suppose Sarah's father also put the hot sauce in my drink!
Clifford: That I don't know.
Martin Daniels: You don't?
Martin Daniels: [yells] You don't?
Martin Daniels: You DONT?
Martin Daniels: [yells] You have no idea who did that?
Clifford: I would suspect the bartender. Theory.
Martin Daniels: [screams] Well, you know, I WOULD SUSPECT SOMEONE ELSE! Now who could that be?
Clifford: If you are about to say what I think you're about to say, then I don't wanna hear it! Because Sarah Davis loves you, Uncle Martin. She wouldn't do that. Oh, she has problems with you, but every relationship goes with that.
[Martin turns a frown as he doesn't believe Clifford, citing him as the perpetrator]
Clifford: Oh. Oh, y-you don't think it was me.
[tries to grab him]
Clifford: Oh, Uncle Martin...
Martin Daniels: Ah!
[pulls away from him; screams again]
Martin Daniels: And I had to be made naked in the jail! I was strip searched! I was humiliated!
Clifford: [sobs] I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I made the tape. Oh, God, it was wrong, Uncle Martin. Then why did I do it? Why? I think I know why. Because I was so angry at you for having promised that you would take me to Dinosaur World and then breaking that promise, Uncle Martin.
Martin Daniels: [yells] What is it with you and Dinosaur World? It's a sick thing! It's like you're obsessed with this Dinosaur World!
Clifford: I believe that Dinosaur World is the only place where a boy like me can be happy.
Sarah Davis: See Clifford, didn't I tell you everything would be alright?
Clifford: Yes you did Miss Sarah, but I don't like those men. They're liars, and everybody knows that liars eventually get caught.
Martin Daniels: Yeah that's right you little peckerhead.
Clifford: Any luck with that chocolate?
Martin Daniels: [mocking Clifford] Any luck with that chocolate? Any luck with that chocolate?
Martin Daniels: If you even look at me wrong. If you do one thing that I find weird, which is, you know, like, your middle name... See? You're doing it right now. Can you just act like a human boy for one minute here? Look at me like a person! You can't do it for more than a few seconds. Look at me like a human boy!
Clifford: I think you're the bestest uncle in the whole wide world!
Martin Daniels: Well there it is, Clifford, Dinosaur World. Are you happy?
Clifford: I'd say I'm the happiest boy in the whole wide world, Uncle Mental Case.
Martin Daniels: I'm the mental case? You're the one in the strait jacket.
Clifford: I imagine when they put you in yours, you'll need a much larger one, sir.
Martin Daniels: That's cute.
Woman on Plane: Would you please stop hitting the back of my chair? I am trying to sleep!
Clifford: I'm sorry, Miss Nice Older Person, but I don't know what you're talking about. Perhaps you were just having a nightmare about your early days in the circus.
Woman on Plane: One more word out of you and I'll call the flight attendant.
[Throws Stephen back at Clifford]
Clifford: Wasn't nice of the mean old lady to smash your collarbone was it, Stephen?
Clifford: You wouldn't lie to me, would you Uncle Martin? 'Cause if you did I'd be so angry I don't know what I'd do.
Martin Daniels: I have a criminal record. But you know what you're gonna have? You're gonna have a one-way ticket back to your parents!
Clifford: Don't send me back to my parents, they hate me!
Martin Daniels: Not as much as I do!
[Clifford procures Stephen from Uncle Martin]
Clifford: He says please don't hurt him, he's the only one left in his family.
Martin Daniels: Just go to your room and write your confession! Pretty soon there won't be anyone left in his family!
Martin Daniels: Don't worry about Clifford, he'll be fine if you give him a ton of sugar and a book about Hitler.
Sarah Davis: You're a phony! Believe me, I can spot a phony a mile away.
Drag Queen: Excuse me, Honey, have you seen a gray Collie dog around here?
Sarah Davis: No, Ma'am, I haven't.
Clifford: Oh Uncle Martin, I am so glad you're here. I got on the train to run away, but a person tried to touch my no-no special place! And when I got back, there were bikers here. And they tied me up, Uncle Martin, and then they told me stories that they do on their bikes. Some of them were fun but some of them were scary!
Martin Daniels: What do you mean you're out of chocolate? How can that be?
Cashier: Everybody want chocolate. I'm out of chocolate.
Martin Daniels: I NEED CHOCOLATE!
Cashier: Alright, alright, I might have an Easter Bunny left over in the frige.
Martin Daniels: [grabs him by the lapels] Get me the bunny!
Clifford: I'm sorry
Martin Daniels: [pushes Clifford away as he tries to hug him] NO, NO, Clifford don't, I don't want to hug you. I can't imagine anyone ever wanting to hug you.
Clifford: But I really am sorry.
Martin Daniels: You really are sorry?, you know sorrow is a human emotion, and as we know, you are not a human boy, you're just, this, this destructive thing who everyone will eventually get to hate you... LET'S GO!
Clifford: Well if you really feel that way, then why should I go with you?
Martin Daniels: THEN DON'T!... it's your choice.
Martin Daniels: I'm going to build the bestest nuclear bomb in the whole wide world!
[Martin and Clifford are waving goodbye to Sarah as she heads for San Francisco]
Martin Daniels: [growls angrily under his teeth] Get in the car!
[Back at Martin's house, Martin is furious with Clifford for getting him charged for a crime he didn't commit]
Martin Daniels: [furious] I am now out on bail. Are you listening to me?
Martin Daniels: Are you?
Clifford: [solemn] Yes, I am.
Martin Daniels: I have a criminal record. But you know what you're gonna have?
Martin Daniels: You're gonna have a one-way ticket back to your parents!
Clifford: [freaks out] Don't send me back to my parents! They hate me!
Martin Daniels: [screams] Not as much as I DO!
Martin Daniels: Oh, stop with the fake tears!
Clifford: I'm not faking! I am sorry! I'll admit anything! Just don't send me back to my parents! I'll even tell Miss Sarah that I was the one who put the lipstick in your pocket, which I didn't. It was her father. He wanted to embarass you. He said that you were a simple-minded moron.
Martin Daniels: Sarah's father called me a moron?
Clifford: Simple-minded moron.
Martin Daniels: And Sarah's father put the lipstick in my pocket?
Martin Daniels: [calms down briefly] Why would he do that?
Clifford: 'Cause he hates you! I don't know why. I surely think you're a nice-enough sort.
Gerald Ellis: Where have you been? You should've been here an hour ago, I've been listening to this idiot for... What are you looking at?
Martin Daniels: Nothing.
Gerald Ellis: Good. Did you make the changes on the model?
Martin Daniels: Yes I made the changes on the model.
Gerald Ellis: Yeah but you didn't shave. We got the entire press court here, you look like shit.
Martin Daniels: I look like shit? Well you look like Willie Nelson.
Martin Daniels: Listen to me. Listen to me a minute.
[Places Stephen in the center of the table]
Martin Daniels: Just leave the dinosaur there, I'm trying to tell you something. When I... When I was a little boy... You know, you touch the dinosaur, I'm gonna kill you.
Clifford: Stephen wanted to stand here.
Martin Daniels: Give it to me! I'll rip its head off! Give it to me! God almighty, Boy! Now listen to me, I'm trying to tell you something to help you. When I was a little boy growing up in Chicago, there was this great amusement park called Riverview. Your father tell you about it?
Martin Daniels: I thought that was the only place where a boy like me could be happy but my father never took me there. And then one day, they tore it down before I ever got a chance to go. I understand how you feel.
Clifford: Does it ever get easier, Uncle Martin?
Martin Daniels: Not really.
Martin Daniels: Here's the deal: Go to your room, write a confession that I'll take to the police, I will not send you back to your parents, and you tell Sarah that you and I are the best of friends.
Clifford: And we are, aren't we?
Martin Daniels: Shut up.
Sarah Davis: Martin, you need help.
Martin Daniels: He's the one who needs help! Go ahead and take him away but don't blame me when his head starts spinning around! Watch out for the green vomit!
Clifford: I love you, Uncle Martin.
Martin Daniels: And I love you too, Clinton.
Martin Daniels: Hi, this is Martin Daniels, I'm not home right now but I got a bomb under city hall. Talk to you later.
Clifford: Hi, this is Clifford. I can't tell you where my Uncle Martin is right now but I'll give you a hint: kaboom!
Sarah Davis: You are such a baby. Clifford should be babysitting you.
Martin Daniels: No thanks, I prefer babysitters who aren't affiliated with the Manson family.
Martin Daniels: I have heard that Clifford is a very special boy.
Julien: Where is that little monster?
Clifford: How many years you think you'll get for kidnapping me, Uncle Ten-Most-Wanted?
Martin Daniels: Life. Let's go a little faster shall we?
Martin Daniels: That was so embarrassing with Mr. Ellis. Please don't ever tell someone that they have a nice wig.
Clifford: I said it was the bestest-looking wig I ever saw. It was a compliment.
Martin Daniels: He says he doesn't wear a wig, and a person doesn't take it as a compliment if you say, "Nice wig".
Clifford: But I didn't say "Nice wig", Uncle Martin, I said "Bestest-looking wig". I believe there is a difference.
[as Martin and Clifford hug, Clifford steals Stephen the plastic dinosaur from Martin's back pocket and has him pretend to walk back to him]
Clifford: Stephen walked back!
Gerald Ellis: I don't believe we've met.
Martin Daniels: Oh, this is Miss...
Gerald Ellis: Miss Sarah Davis. Yes, I'm well aware.
Martin Daniels: You want me to redesign the entire model in two days?
Gerald Ellis: Look, the bottom line is you've got to move the train line.
Martin Daniels: Wha...
Gerald Ellis: Yes, two miles.
Martin Daniels: But... That's impossible, that would put the train line - That's right through the Sepulveda dam!
Gerald Ellis: Oh. That's not good... Well you'll come up with something. Just hole up for a few days, drink alot of coffee, and blah blah blah, and you being the top man I know you are, you'll hit another home run for us just like you always do. You all right?
Martin Daniels: No.
Gerald Ellis: Good man.
Clifford: Oh, you mean Uncle Martin... Scary... *Scary* Uncle Martin.
Clifford: Tell me when this is all over, how many years do you think you'll get for kidnapping me, Uncle 10-Most-Wanted?
Martin Daniels: Life. Let's go a little faster, shall we?
Martin Daniels: [on his answering machine recording] This is Martin Daniels. I'm not home but I got a bomb under City Hall.
Gerald Ellis: Who the hell is responsible for this?
Martin Daniels: I am
Gerald Ellis: Well, you're fired!
Martin Daniels: [sarcastically] Of course I am!
Gerald Ellis: Oh and by the way, I happen to love Willie Nelson.
Martin Daniels: Climb abord Clifford!, are you excited, Clifford?
Clifford: Yes, cause it has always been my dream, Uncle Martin
Martin Daniels: Yeah, the same way as building a transit system was always my dream.
Clifford: Why do you say was?, did something happen to it?
Martin Daniels: [mocking Clifford] HAD SOMETHING HAPPENED TO IT?, we'll see how you feel about your dream after being on the ride for ten hours.
Clifford: Ten hours!, I'd say i'd like it even more!
Martin Daniels: Then we'll see how you would feel after 100 hours.
Martin Daniels: I got a bombshell for you, young man, I'm the boss around here and you can't fight city hall.
[Clifford finishes going through a fast version of the Larry the Scary Rex ride]
Martin Daniels: Was that scary?
Clifford: Not at all, you know a thought occured to me. You think that Miss Sarah and Mr. Ellis, perhaps would name their first child Martin?
Martin Daniels: That is so cute. You know Clifford, I really shouldn't put this in hyperdrive but I just can't seem to help myself, OH WELL!
Sarah Davis: Daddy, I want you to be nice to Martin for me, please!
Parker: If I have to honey, I still don't understand how a man at his age is still not married.
[Martin is still scolding Clifford]
Martin Daniels: Let's just forget about the wig. But I gotta punish you, and that means Dinosaur World is out!
Clifford: I don't understand.
Martin Daniels: I've got a bombshell for you, young man: I happen to be the boss in this house and you cannot fight City Hall.
Clifford: But you know, Uncle Martin, someone as wise and worldly as you would realize that breaking a little boy's promise and punishing him for it would be a terrible, terrible thing. I imagine that little boy wouldn't be responsible for what he was gonna do next.
Martin Daniels: [turns angrier] See now, that sounds like a threat to me and I don't like threats. So you're gonna spend the rest of the day in your room. Now you march up there, young man. March!
Martin Daniels: Okay, I've got 20 hours. I can do it if I don't panic.
Clifford: When we land in Los Angeles, can we then immediately go to Dinosaur world?
Julien: How many times do I have to tell you, son. The plane does not go to Los Angeles. It goes directly to Honolulu.
Clifford: But how can that be, pappy?
Julien: How can what be?
Clifford: That my birthday of all days, I can be so close to Dinosaur world and yet so far away?
Julien: Don't you start with me. You're birthday was 6 months ago.
Theodora Daniels: Clifford. Daddy's on a business - a business trip. And this is not a vacation. No.
Julien: So will you drop this Dinosaur world thing for 5 seconds? Huh? Would you do that for me? Huh? Would you? Oh, boy. You're driving me crazy!