|Index||3 reviews in total|
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Personally, I couldn't care less about this movie. It's pretty dull and
boring. Maybe I should give this movie an extra point because of the
acting being more or less okay, but I refuse to do so. The story was
totally uninteresting and it really goes nowhere. So, we have the
Beans, a poor trailer-trash family with Reuben Bean (Rutger Hauer)
being the father. There's young aunt Roberta Bean (Kelly Lynch) living
in a separate house nearby. And there's Earlene Pomerleau (Martha
Plimpton), living across the street with her overly religious parents
(what's new?). They all fool around with each other. Reuben gets thrown
in jail. They should have done that much sooner because he clearly is
insane (wanting to shoot the sheriff for no reason, and all...). Then
there's more fooling around with a bit of incestuous insinuations going
on there. Someone dies (mainly because he's so stupid to walk out
waving and shooting a shotgun with police-officers standing around).
And then Rutger Hauer gets released from jail, visits Roberta and just
when you expect Hauer to act crazy again, this movie just ends.
THE BEANS OF Egypt, MAINE (aka FORBIDDEN CHOICES) isn't worth seeing. Not even for Hauer-fans (However, he does get drunk and falls out of his truck. And the scene where he wants to shoot the cop is pretty hilarious). But then again, if I wanted to see a movie about dysfunctional Americans, I'll go see any Larry Clark-movie, 'cause at least he delivers the goods.
Maybe if you're in the right mood, you can get into the rhythm of this movie, but episodic is the best description. No one story line feels really developed. Characters come and go, make speeches and die, all to no effect.
Okay. This is probably one of my favorite books of all time. I can't even begin to explain how they screw this up in the movie. I sat down, EXCITED and watched this film, and got up DEPRESSED and wanting to cry. It wasn't as if I was depressed by the sad content of the film, but the quality made me physically ill. Don't waste your time on it. The only reason why I gave it that one star is because the book deserves ten. The actors in this movie couldn't work out of a paper bag. I kept screaming "Where's Keanu!?" and "Why! Why!" I wish they wouldn't of made "Beans..." into a film, because this book is the one book I wanted to turn into a movie. And I think that with my minimal movie making skills, mine would look like "Citizen Kane" compared to this elementary garbage.
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