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Baby's Day Out (1994) Poster

Quotes

Eddie: If you want to be a shoplifter, go to J.C. Penney.

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FBI Agent Dale Grissom: Radio Rogers and McCluskey. Tell them to turn around. We're going back to the tick-tock to get the boo-boo. And send for backup.

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[Eddie's pants were on fire, and Veeko stomped on the fire to put it out]

Veeko: That's how you put out campfires.

Eddie: Is that... a fact?

Veeko: Used to do it in boy scouts.

Eddie: You toasted your marshmallows... over a pile of flaming GONADS?

Veeko: We usually used logs.

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Norby: [singing] Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb her HAIR was white as snow! And every which way that Mary went, the lamb was right behind her. It followed her to work one day, work one day, work one day. It followed her to work one daaaaaaayyy, and Mary lost her job!

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Norby: Eddie, what else did Mary's little lamb do?

Eddie: Didn't he put, uh, Humpty Dumpty back together again?

Veeko: That was Nat King Cole.N

Eddie: Nat King Cole stuck his finger in the pie and yanked out the bird.

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Eddie: [after accidently letting some mixture be poured on him] THAT'S IT! NO MERCY!

[tries to walk through the slippery puddle of mixture]

Eddie: This ain't no nursury school battle of wits anymore. This is my '5'"10" of guile, gut, and gristle, versus you 2 1/2 feet of goo-goos,gaa-gaas, and giggles.

[slips on the floor, but climbs up again]

Eddie: If the Milwaukee Mob couldn't kill me, no milk-puking little thumb-sucker's got a candle's chance on a cyclone of getting the better of me!

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Eddie: [Baby Bink just got away from the villains again after many times, but this time by crawling into a small sewer tunnel] No problem, fellas. It ain't a hole. It's a tunnel. And what's every tunnel got?

Norby: Ooh! Don't tell me! I know, I know, I know. It's uh, uh, uh-...

Veeko: Tollbooth at the end.

Eddie: Are you always this stupid, or do you do this just to annoy me?

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[the villains have returned to their apartment after chasing Baby Bink all day long]

Norby: Hey, Eddie, you sure you don't want to go check if they have left the money?

Eddie: Oh, that's a good idea. We get the living hell torn out of us by a baby! Three fully-grown men versus 15 pounds of pink flesh with a mouth! Now, what chance do you think we have than strolling into that alley and coming out with anything less than 140 years in prison? No, thank you! This is a hexed situation, we walk away while we're still ahead.

Veeko: We took a licking and kept on ticking.

Eddie: We go back to banks. Dealing with grown-ups, and I want no kiddie stuff.

Norby: We did all right with banks.

Veeko: Or a convenience store once in a while, keeps things interesting.

Eddie: Well, you know one thing I learned from this: I ain't never gonna have any kids of my own.

Norby: Ha, yeah! Seeing as you burnt down the only tree in your forest, I ain't worrying about that.

[Norby and Veeko laugh, and give each other high-fives]

Eddie: Why don't you shut up? I don't ever wanna hear another word about that rotten, snake-bit Baby!

[Baby Bink's giggle is heard from the microphone outside]

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[as Baby Bink crawls away from the building under construction, Hard Hat #1 sees him disappear around a corner]

Hard Hat #2: What?

Hard Hat #1: I thought I saw a baby crawl around the corner.

Hard Hat #2: Good night, Donald.

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Gilbertine: Nanny Gilbertine is so sick of the "Boo-boo" book she could just gag...

[baby Bink starts to giggle]

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[Bennington Cotwell returns home after hearing that his son has been kidnapped to find his wife waiting for him]

Laraine Cotwell: All I wanted was to have my baby's picture on the paper.

[She shows him the newspaper, which its headlines shows a picture of Baby Bink, but the story is of Bink being kidnapped]

Laraine Cotwell: [sarcastically] I've got my wish.

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Norby: Did a baby get off this bus? A little guy about two feet tall. It's an emergency!

Bus Driver: I didn't have nobody today with a baby.

Norby: He was BY HIMSELF!

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FBI Agent Dale Grissom: You're surrounded! Throw down the Boo Boo and put your hands over your head!

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[while trying to feed Bink]

Veeko: Ed.

Eddie: Huh?

Veeko: How do I know this milk won't burn the kid's throat? If that matters.

Eddie: Try it on some skin first.

[Veeko almost drops some milk on his arm, but removes Norby's hat and squirts some over his bald head. Norby screams in pain as Bink laughs]

Norby: What's the matter with you?

Veeko: I'd better let it cool down.

[Norby smacks Veeko across the head. Bink laughs]

Norby: You like that? Hey, Eddie!

Eddie: Huh?

Norby: Watch the baby.

[Norby smacks Veeko again. Bink laughs. Norby laughs as well. Veeko laughs mockingly]

Eddie: Very good. Now see if it works the other way.

[Veeko smacks Norby across the head so hard he falls over. Bink laughs. Veeko smiles at him]

Veeko: It works.

[Eddie nods]

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Norby: Eddie?

Eddie: Huh?

Norby: You're a smart guy. How do you tell the front from the back on these diapers?

Eddie: Aren't there pockets in the front?

Norby: [looks it over] That's very funny. The front and the back are the same!

Eddie: Then it probably don't make no difference. Put him in them regular baby clothes. That fruit suit's a dead give away that he's a rich kid.

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Norby: [singing] Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb her HAIR was white as snow! And every which way that Mary went, the lamb was right behind her. It followed her to work one day, work one day, work one day. It followed her to work one daaaaaaayyy, and Mary lost her job!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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