Angels in the Outfield (1994)
JP: You used to be Mel Clark?
Mel Clark: Yeah. I used to be.
George Knox: [the Angels have lost their fifteenth straight game] One more loss! One more loss which could've been a win! And you call yourselves professionals. I have never, ever seen a worse group of twenty-five players! You don't think as a team, you don't play as a team, you don't even LOSE as a team! You've all got your heads so far up your butts, you can't even see the light of day! One more loss and I... I'll do this...
[throws a chair at a rack of bats]
George Knox: to each and everyone of you!
Roger Bomman: God... if there is a God... if you're a man or a woman... if you're listening, I'd really, really like a family. My dad says that will only happen if the Angels win the pennant. The baseball team, I mean. So, maybe you can help them win a little. Amen. Oh, A-woman, too.
Roger Bomman: I'm glad you're here! I was afraid no one was going to show up today, since everybody knows about the angels.
Al the Boss Angel: Nobody's coming. Championships have to be won on their own. It's a rule.
Roger Bomman: Then why are you here?
Al the Boss Angel: [gestures to Clark] I came to check up on Mel. He's coming up soon. Going to be one of us.
Roger Bomman: You mean he's...
Al the Boss Angel: Ah, he's smoked for years. Always a mistake. He's got 6 months left, doesn't even know anything's wrong yet.
Roger Bomman: No!
Al the Boss Angel: Oh, don't you worry. He's well taken care of. You concentrate on your own life now. We are expecting great things from you kid. We'll all be watching, you remember that.
[slowly dissolves away]
Al the Boss Angel: Even though you can't see us, we're always watching.
Hank Murphy: Are you crackin' up, or is there a repeat of Cincinnati?
George Knox: No, no, it's nothing like that.
Hank Murphy: You believe there's real angels?
George Knox: I know it sounds crazy.
[taking a picture with George Knox and Roger]
Photographer: It looks like a prison photo.
George Knox: [after Roger tells him about the real Angels] Great! A psycho kid. David, you'd think they'd screen these people.
George Knox: Any loss is hard.
Ranch Wilder: But this one really got to you. You leave Cincinnati after ten years of winning ball clubs - although the really big one always seemed to be just out of reach - and you come out here to manage our Angels. Now, expectations were high that you could turn this team around. But that just doesn't seem to be happening.
George Knox: Season's only half-over, Ranch.
Ranch Wilder: And your club's in last place.
George Knox: You oughtta know how one incident can change the course of events.
Ranch Wilder: Well, you know, you play the game. You take your chances. Sometimes, you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
George Knox: Yeah, you're an expert at that.
Ranch Wilder: I could say the same about you.
George Knox: Well, actions speak louder than words.
Mel Clark: I've got nothing left.
George Knox: Yeah, you do. You've got one strike left.
[turns to dugout, Roger walks out flapping his arms like angel's wings]
George Knox: You've got an angel with you right now... just got here, and he's going to help.
Mel Clark: The kid sees an angel?
George Knox: Yeah, he must. That's the signal.
[gradually all players and crowd, even those in the office, stand and flap their arms]
George Knox: [moved by seeing the crowd] It could happen.
George Knox: [laughs] Go get 'em for the championship!
Ranch Wilder: [hands JP a business card] Hey. I'm Ranch Wilder. The voice of the Angels.
JP: I know who you are. I heard you on the radio. You sure do have a big chin.
Ranch Wilder: Everybody's a critic.
Maggie Nelson: [stands] Um, excuse me. I'd like to say something on behalf of George Knox.
Hank Murphy: What's your name? What's your business here?
Maggie Nelson: My name is Maggie Nelson. I take care of foster kids. One of these boys is the child who can see angels. He could stand up right now and tell you what's going on and I'd know you'd just laugh at him. But, when a professional football player drops to one knee to thank God for making a touchdown, nobody laughs at that. Or when a pitcher crosses himself before going to the mound, no one laughs at that either. It's like your saying it's okay to believe in God, but it's not okay to believe in angels. Now, I thought that they were on the same team.
Hank Murphy: Is it your belief, ma'am, that angels play baseball?
Maggie Nelson: Since the all-star break, yes. We all need someone to believe in. Every child I have ever looked after has someone: an angel. You've got to have faith. You've got to believe. You have to look inside yourself. The footprints of an angel are love, and where there is love, miraculous things can happen. I've seen it.
Mel Clark: [stands] I'd also like to say something. I don't know if there are any angels here other than the twenty-five of us in uniform. But I know there is one thing I won't do: I won't play for anyone but George Knox. I believe in him.
Triscuitt Messmer: [stands] That goes for me, too.
Rest of Angels baseball team, Roger, & J.P.: [stands and nods in agreement]
George Knox: Thank you. All of you.
George Knox: There's a thing called "talent"! They don't have it!
George Knox: Gimme the ball, Gates.
Frank Gates: It ain't my fault. You need a new outfield!
George Knox: You're outta here, GIVE ME THE BALL!
Frank Gates: You want the ball? Here you go...
[makes as though to hand it over then tosses it]
Frank Gates: Go get it. Want my glove?
[repeats the gesture]
Frank Gates: Go get it!
Ranch Wilder: [broadcasting offscreen] Gates has thrown the ball and his glove into the stands.
George Knox: [jumps Gates] Get outta here! You're finished, Gates! You're washed up! You'll never pitch again!
George Knox: [on when Mel can play again] How's never sound? You blew your arm out, played on too many pain pills.
Mel Clark: Pain pills? You were the one stuffin' them down my throat five years ago in Cincinnati.
George Knox: Hey, it was your decision to swallow 'em! I had a brain. When you couldn't play, I transferred you. Got rid of you. I never thought I'd get stuck with you again.
Mapel: We do it all summer / And it's a big bummer / No matter who we play / We give the game away. / 'Cause we can't win / That would be a sin / We even lose the games / before they begin...
George Knox: Save it, Mapel!
Danny Hemmerling: I guess no matter how many times you hear that song played in a Major League stadium, on a warm afternoon, it's still emotionally evocative.
George Knox: Drop dead. I got sunscreen in my eye.
[the players are touching a post as they walk into the locker room]
Frank Gaits: Why do you idiots do that after you've lost?
Ray Mitchell: It's for good luck, man.
Danny Hemmerling: After 15 straight losses, I say we find something else to rub.
Pablo Garcia: How about Triscuitt's head?
Triscuitt Messmer: Hey, don't even think about touching me anywhere.
Jose Martinez: [stops reaching for it] Fatty pants.
Whitt Bass: You know, maybe we should do this *before* we lose.
Ranch Wilder: Whit Bass takes the mound with his oddball antics that are now well known to the fans.
Frank Gates: That's right, Ranch. This season alone we've seen him lick dirt, eat bugs, and floss his catcher's teeth in the dugout.
Ranch Wilder: [switches off Wally's mike and on his own] None of that, may I add, seems to have helped his pitching. He's 2 and 11.
Hank Murphy: Ranch?
[Ranch turns to face him, grinning as though he supported the play]
Hank Murphy: You're fired.
Ranch Wilder: You can't fire me! I have got a contract! I AM RANCH WILDER!
Wally: [cheerfully] Easy, Ranch. Less is more.
Ranch Wilder: [flinging the stats book and pamphlet the assistant offers him aside, after Clark's first two pitches fail miserably] I'm checking to see if Dan Prince pulled a muscle during his warmup tosses. There has to be some reason why Knox would make such a radical change. I have personally checked the stats, sports fans, and Mel Clark has not started a game in this decade.
Hank Murphy: You feeling any better today, George?
George Knox: Why would I be feeling any better?
Hank Murphy: Commissioner's fined you $5,000 for you jumping Gates. And word has it Ranch is pressing civil charges for you popping him.
George Knox: [grins] Come to think of it, I have felt better since I slugged Wilder.
Hank Murphy: Your pistol's smoking, pal.
George Knox: I hadn't made the connection.
Hank Murphy: I know you two have been at each other's throats for a long time.
George Knox: Yeah, we've been at each others throats since he spiked my knee and ruined my career.
Hank Murphy: Accidents happen, George.
George Knox: It wasn't an accident. When you slide into a catcher with your nails up, it's on purpose.
Hank Murphy: Now, don't go making more cow pies to step in, George. You've already got enough manure on your boots now. Control yourself today.
George Knox: I want you all here, in uniform, at 9 tomorrow! We're going to work on fundamentals!
[the team groans]
Drunk Fan: Fundamentals? In the middle of the season?
Norton: I thought the game started at *1*.
George Knox: It *does* start at 1. And you're a jack-ass!
Norton: No, I'm a pitcher.
[Knox storms off]
Whitt Bass: Well, you're a pitcher and a jack-ass.
Jose Martinez: Si - it's very common.
George Knox: Hey, let's keep the profanity down!
Angel players: HUH?
George Knox: I mean it! No swearing!
Ray Mitchell: That eliminates all speech for most of the team.
Maggie Nelson: And for dessert... Jello.
Miguel Scott: It's not really Jello, it's cats' brains with food coloring. She kills them at night and feeds it to us to save money.
[JP makes a disgusted face]
Roger Bomman: Shut up, Miguel!
Maggie Nelson: Roger! We do not use those words in this house. And you know I would never put food coloring on my cat brains.
[ruffles Miguel's hair]
Family Court Judge: You understand that once this hearing has established Roger's permanent placement status, his welfare will forever forward be determined by this court.
Mr. Bomman: I understand.
Family Court Judge: And you consulted a lawyer?
Mr. Bomman: Look, lady, I get what I'm doing. The kid's not mine anymore. Not proud of it. There isn't anything that could change my mind about it either.
George Knox: [Roger sees an angel, but can't let David know about it] Go buy the kids nachos.
David Montagne: *Anything*... but nachos.
George Knox: Buy them Angels jackets.
David Montagne: It's ninety degrees out here.
George Knox: Get your butt up there, *now!*
David Montagne: [David leaves]
JP: [Roger and JP are in their beds] Roger?
Roger Bomman: What?
JP: Are you asleep?
Roger Bomman: If I was sleeping, how would I be talking to you?
JP: You could be sleep-talking.
Roger Bomman: Look, I'll give you a dime tomorrow if you don't say another word.
[Roger snuggles more into the covers, just starting to sleep]
Roger Bomman: [sighs loudly] You can forget that dime.
George Knox: You can't go through life thinking everyone you meet will one day let you down.
JP: Roger, do you believe in heaven?
Roger Bomman: I guess. That's where they said my mom went.
Roger Bomman: Dad, um - when we gonna be a family again?
Mr. Bomman: Where I'm sitting... ,
[looks at the stadium]
Mr. Bomman: I'd say when the Angels win the pennant. You stay out of trouble, son.
[starts motorcycle engine and drives away]
Ranch Wilder: And Williams and Norton collide, and the catch is blown.
Roger Bomman: Boy, they're bad!
Roger Bomman: Who are you?
Al the Boss Angel: Just call me Al. No one can see me or hear me but you.
Roger Bomman: [to George] Four angels came out of the sky and they picked up Ben Williams.
Roger Bomman: I've got to ask you something. Do you believe in angels?
Maggie Nelson: What have angels got to do with you being out of bed?
Triscuitt Messmer: [to George] It musta been those chili dogs I ate before the game. The third one tasted kind of funny.
George Knox: In baseball we use signals. Make some kind of signal. I can't come over here every couple of seconds.
Roger Bomman: I'll go like that, okay?
Ranch Wilder: And Ben Williams makes a miraculous catch.
Roger Bomman: Holy cow!
George Knox: How did he do that?
George Knox: You can call it faith, you can call it angels, you can call it whatever you want.
Ranch Wilder: No doubt he's tiring, Wally, and Knox knows it. Ball one.
Roger Bomman: David, I need a drink.
David Montagne: Which of these drinks?
Roger Bomman: I don't want that. I want something else.
David Montagne: What else?
Roger Bomman: Uh... coffee.
David Montagne: You drink coffee?
Roger Bomman: Yeah, of course. All the time.
JP: Yeah, all the time! What do you think we are? Little kids or something? Now give me a cup or I'll scream!
David Montagne: How do you take it?
Roger Bomman: In cups.