My So-Called Life (1994–1995)
Brian: Dear Angela, I know in the past I've caused you pain and I'm sorry. And I'll always be sorry 'till the day I die. And I hate this pen I'm holding because I should be holding you. I hate this paper under my hand because it isn't you. I even hate this letter because it's not the whole truth. Because the whole truth is so much more than a letter can even say. If you want to hate me, go ahead. If you want to burn this letter, do it. You could burn the whole world down; you could tell me to go to hell. I'd go, if you wanted me to. And I'd send you a letter from there. Sincerely, Jordan Catalano
Angela: My parents keep asking how school was. It's like saying, "How was that drive-by shooting?" You don't care how it *was*, you're lucky to get out alive.
Angela: Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison. And the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while. And admit the truth: that when you really look closely? People are so strange and so complicated that they're actually... beautiful. Possibly even me.
Angela: People are always saying you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster. Like you know what it is even. But every so often I'll have, like, a moment, where just being myself in my life right where I am is, like, enough.
Angela: Sometimes I think if my mother wasn't so good at pretending to be happy she might be better at actually being happy.
Angela: The worst feeling is suddenly realizing that you don't measure up. And that, in the past, when you thought you did, you were a fool.
Jordan: It's like you think you are safe or something cause you can just walk away anytime, cause you don't need her - you don't need anyone. But the thing you didn't realize is, you're wrong.
Sharon Cherski: My father almost died. And you were the only person who didn't even seem to care. People I barely knew were coming up to me all like, concerned, and you, you acted like you barely even knew me.
Angela: I know, I know I acted like that. I just didn't know what else to do... I knew I was the last person on earth you wanted to deal with...
Sharon Cherski: [beginning to cry] You were the *only* person I wanted to deal with!
Angela: Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart.
Rayanne: You wanna have sex with him.
Rayanne: Who. Jordan. Catalano. Come on, I'm not gonna tell anyone, just admit it.
Angela: I just like how he's always leaning. Against stuff. He leans great. Well, either sex or a conversation. Ideally both.
Angela: Hatred can become like food, it gives you this energy that you can like, live off of.
Angela: This life has been a test. If this had been an actual life, you would have received instructions on where to go and what to do.
Angela: There's this dividing line between girls who have had sex, and girls who haven't. And all of a sudden you realize you're looking at each other across it.
Rayanne Graff: "Potential slut". Now where do people get an idea like that about me?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Research!
Angela: I mean, I think about it... all the time, but...
Brian: Wait, you *think* about it all the time?
Angela: Brian! Yes! Shut up... guys don't have a monopoly on thinking about it.
Brian: They don't?
Angela: [narrating] I couldn't stop thinking about it. The, like, fact that - that people - had sex. That they just *had* it, like sex was this thing people - *had*, like a rash. Or a - a Rottweiler. Everything started to seem like, pornographic or something. Like, Mrs. Krysanowski has sex. So does Mr. Katimsky. They both have sex. They could - have sex together. Like right now.
Angela: I am, like, the *sickest* person.
Brian: It's like you have created your own prison and now you have to exist in it.
[Jordan hands Angela the love letter she wrote about him]
Angela: when I wrote this... I wrote this about someone else, I had... this guy, I had a boyfriend last summer and I wrote everything I... I wanted to remember... and I used your name because I wanted... I didn't want other people to know it was about him because... he died... he's dead.
Brian: Here, do you want to... borrow my sweater?
Brian: Just don't sweat into it or anything.
Angela: Why do you always have to say stuff like that?
Angela: When someone compliments your parents, there's like nothing to say. It's like a stun gun to your brain.
Angela: What's amazing is when you can feel your life going somewhere. Like, your life just figured out how to get good. Like, that second.
Angela: It had become the focus of everything. It was all I could feel, all I could think about. It blotted out the rest of my face, the rest of my life. Like the zit had become... the truth about me.
First Bathroom Girl: Wait, so what's fat-free?
Second Bathroom Girl: When something's, like, free. Of fat.
Third Bathroom Girl: Well, what's the difference between fat-free, and like, nonfat?
Angela: You know, you are sick and demented. You skew everything in terms of sex.
Brian: Not everything!
[From a mid-season advertisement]
Narrator: Will Angela ever get over Jordan? Will Rayanne ever stop drinking? Will Brian ever be cool enough? Will Cousin Tino ever actually show up?
Angela: Each card has its own name: The Magician; The Empress; The Fool; The Wheel of Fortune; Strength. They represent challenges and tests, twists of fate. No card is all good or all bad. Cards can be positive or negative depending on where they fall. When you read someone's future, they must think of a question. They must hold it in their mind. The cards read in sequence, each card leads to the next. We move from terror and loss to unexpected good fortune and out of darkness hope is born.
Angela: Walking into someone else's house for the first time is like entering another country. Not that I've ever been to another country.
Angela: If only there were a button somewhere that I could push. To force me to stop talking.
Angela: They weren't the kind of kisses you could actually evaluate. They were more like... introductory kisses.
Graham: Prison's not that bad and, and I'll wait for you.
Angela: Don't say "hello," or anything.
Angela: I can't believe I came here. Why did you ask me to come here? Why are you like this?
Jordan: Like what?
Angela: Like how you are.
Jordan: So leave.
Angela: Admit it, first.
Jordan: Admit what?
Angela: That all of this happened. That you have emotions. That you can't, like, treat me one way in front of your friends and the next minute leave me some note.
Angela: And by the way, I spell my name with one L.
Jordan: Here, before I finish it.
Rayanne: Oh no, it's cool. Have as much as you want. I'm drunk.
Jordan: Yeah, me too. But not enough. So, Graff... who you here with?
Rayanne: If you mean where's Angela, she didn't come. Like usual.
Jordan: Just let me ask you something.
Rayanne: It wasn't even my idea. To audition for the stupid play. It was Angela's. And right, like I could be Emily.
Jordan: Emily who?
Rayanne: The part in this stupid Our Town play. It was just wishful thinking. I could never be her. Angela could be her.
Jordan: Oh yeah?
Rayanne: She's exactly like Angela. You know, she's so innocent but like, doesn't know she's innocent.
Rayanne: And she always says this stuff like, "isn't the moonlight terrible?"
Jordan: Yeah, she's always saying innocent stuff like that.
Rayanne: No, I meant. No, nevermind.
Jordan: So, does she like that guy I keep seeing her talking to? Cory. Or what?
Rayanne: You know, it's hard to say.
Jordan: Sometimes it's like, I really think I know her. And then it will be like we're total strangers.
Rayanne: I know.
Rayanne: So, do you know what everyone's saying?
Rayanne: About you and Angela. Like, you guys had sex.
Rayanne: You and Angela.
Jordan: No. Who is saying that?
Rayanne: I don't know, people. I mean she told me the truth, of course.
Jordan: What truth?
Rayanne: How far you guys went, you know.
Jordan: Well, yeah. Cause nothing happened.
Rayanne: Right. So, like, how come it's all over school? I mean, you're not talking it up like some lowlife derelict cretin telling everyone you did her. Are you?
[Jordan nods no and walks away]
Rayanne: Just checking.
Shane: Hey Graff, wanna play?
Rayanne: Ew, shut up.
Rayanne: You know you like her. Would it kill you to admit it? Maybe treat her halfway decent. Because, you know, she deserves it. And she's not gonna wait around for you forever.
Shane: Man, they're like, weird. You know? Both of them.
Jordan: Hey! Um, where is... I mean, is Tino here?
[Brian shakes head no]
Jordan: That's uh... I mean, that's Angela's.
Brian: Uh, shouldn't it prove she's 21?
Brian: So, according to this she was born yesterday.
Jordan: Why are you here?
Brian: I live here.
Jordan: Is she really from France? Wait, nevermind. Just makes sure she gets that, okay?
Sharon Cherski: Why were you asking me all those questions? So, you and Jordan never?
Angela: [Narration] There's this dividing line between girls who've had sex and girls who haven't. And all of a sudden, we both realized that we were looking at each other across it.
Sharon Cherski: Look, you're allowed to ask me things.
Angela: What things? So did you use something?
Sharon Cherski: Angela! Of course we did! We used condoms. You have to. Promise me you'll make him wear a condom if you decide to do it.
Angela: Okay! Let's stop talking about it.
Angela: So how did you, like, decide? I mean...
Sharon Cherski: Look, I told Kyle I wanted to wait until I was ready. And then one night I totally was. The only strange thing is that after that, having sex was like, expected, because you can't go back. I mean, it kinda stopped mattering if I wanted to.
Angela: So, you and Kyle broke up? I mean, was there a reason?
Sharon Cherski: I guess I'd have to say, it was my beliefs. I didn't feel like I should give up my beliefs even for Kyle.
Angela: [Narration] So Sharon had beliefs. Sharon had decided to stay a virgin.
Angela: So how did you, like... you just told him? You didn't wanna, you know, have sex with him. No matter how much he was, like, expecting it?
Sharon Cherski: Oh, no. No, no, we had sex. I'm saying I had a belief that he was being a butthead, which was true.
Angela: You had, like, intercourse?
Sharon Cherski: Constantly.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: [sees Jordan on the street] Hey.
Jordan: You need a ride or something?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Uh, sure.
Jordan: So, where we going?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Uh... let me think. Um...
Jordan: Look if you need someplace to crash, I know a place.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Thanks.
Jordan: My old man used to knock me around, too.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: He did?
Jordan: He hasn't done it in a couple years, though. He's too scared. The last time... I threw a chair at him.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Well, I'm gonna light a candle for you on Christmas Eve.
Jordan: Oh yeah? You think that changes anything?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Uh-huh.
Richard Katimski: [reading to the class] "My mistress eyes are nothing like the sun. Coral is far more red than her lips' red. If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun. If hair be wires, black wires grow on her head. I have seen roses damas red and white, but no such roses see I in her cheeks. And some perfumes is there more delight than in the breath that from my mistress reeks. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know that music hath a far more pleasing sound. I grant I never saw a Goddess go. My mistress when she walks treads on the ground, and yet, by Heaven, I think my love as rare as any she belied with false compare." What kind of a girl is Shakespeare describing here? Is she the most beautiful girl?
Richard Katimski: Is she a Goddess? Physically perfect? The kind of girl who stops traffic when she walks down the street?
Richard Katimski: So he's not in love with her?
Jordan: Yeah. He is.
Richard Katimski: And why is that? Why is he in love with her? What is it about her?
Brian: That she's not just a fantasy. She's got, like, flaws. She's real.
Richard Katimski: Thank you.
Rayanne: Hey, Catalano.
Rayanne: So, what about this gun thing. Huh? I'd hate to be that soda bottle. Splat!
Angela: Huge events take place on this earth every day. Earthquakes, hurricanes - even glaciers move. So why couldn't he just look at me?
Angela: I'm sorry about Friday night. I just had this flu shot thing
Jordan: Quit lying. Tino told me. Rayanne Graff has been clean for, like, weeks. Since the night she almost OD'd. Right?
Jordan: I mean, you can think what you want about me. I never lied! I can't believe it. I let you drive my car.
Angela: It's so hard to explain because, it's not going to sound right. Because part of me really wants to. But...
Jordan: This is the whole reason I didn't want to start this in the first place.
Angela: Why? Because you knew you wouldn't get sex? You'd just be wasting your time?
Jordan: Because you don't get it! Okay? You're supposed to. It's accepted! It's what you're supposed to do. Unless you're, like, abnormal.
Jordan: This doesn't seem like a Friday.
Angela: It's Thursday.
Jordan: Oh. Are you sure?
Angela: Well, yesterday was Wednesday, so...
Jordan: Oh. Right.
Angela: So that's how I know.
Shane: There's Rayanne Graff and that weird girl she always hangs out with.
Angela: [after being ignored by Jordan] He doesn't seem like he saw me. He's busy. I'm not even gonna...
Sharon Cherski: What? Forget busy. I mean he asked you to meet him here, right?
Rayanne: Why isn't he coming to you?
Angela: Because he doesn't see me. He's busy.
Rayanne: Will you go over there? Please. Just go.
Sharon Cherski: I mean, really. Really!
Angela: [Approaches Jordan] Hi.
Jordan: Hi. Uhh, you're kinda crowding me.
Jordan: Wait, you actually signed me up?
Angela: I know. In a way it was wrong, but I just have a feeling this is going to be really good.
Jordan: I don't know.
Angela: So, whoever is going to tutor you, their name is next to yours.
Jordan: Brain Krakow?
Angela: Wait, maybe this is a bad idea.
Jordan: No. If I'm already signed up.
Jordan: Are you Brain?
Rayanne: My head is like, pounding. I was really out of it last night.
Jordan: Yeah, me too.
Rayanne: I guess we both were.
Rayanne: Okay, so.
Jordan: Yeah, so.
Jordan: Angela? Hey. Didn't you hear me?
Jordan: [Hands her a pen] Here.
Angela: Why are you giving this to me?
Jordan: Because it's yours.
Angela: Well, I don't want it.
Jordan: Well, it's your pen.
Jordan: So you lent it to me in Katimski's. Remember?
Angela: Not really.
Jordan: Well if it's not yours, give it back.
Angela: You will not believe the number Sharon Cherski just pulled on me.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Uh, like what?
Angela: Like how Rayanne supposedly did it with Jordan And how Brian Krakow supposedly has proof of it, like on video. I mean, I honestly believed she was past all this. Like, she was over her jealousy of Rayanne. But I guess she isn't, or else why would she say something like that to me?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Because it's true.
Jordan: Oh, I almost forgot. Here. I found it at the museum. You wrote it, right?
Angela: Yeah. But when I wrote this, I wrote it about someone else. This guy. I had a boyfriend last summer, and I wrote everything... I wanted to remember him. I used your name because I didn't want other people to know it was about him. Because he died. He's dead.
Jordan: Look, I didn't read it. Okay? So you don't have to, like, tell that stuff.
Angela: You expect me to believe that?
Jordan: I don't care what you believe.
Angela: Well, you find a five-page letter in a museum and it starts "dear Jordan," and you expect me to believe you didn't read it?
Jordan: Nevermind. Look, I read parts of it. Okay?
Angela: What? You must really think I'm stupid.
Jordan: It just didn't hold my interest, okay?
Angela: Oh really? Why is that? I'm curious! I'd really like to know what it was that made it so incredibly boring. Just tell me! Was it too emotional? Too personal? Too many big words?
Jordan: Shut up!
Angela: You couldn't read it. That's it, isn't it?
Jordan: I never told anyone before.
Brian: [Narration] Dear Angela, I know in the past I've caused you pain and I'm sorry. And I'll always be sorry until the day I die. And I hate this pen I'm holding because I should be holding you. I hate this paper under my hand because it isn't you. I even hate this letter because it's not the whole truth. Because the whole truth is so much more than a letter can even say. If you want to hate me, go ahead. If you want to burn this letter, do it. You could burn the whole world down. You could tell me to go to hell. I'd go if you wanted me to and I'd send you a letter from there. Sincerely, Jordan Catalano.
Rayanne: So, come on, how long are the two of you going to keep this up?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Keep what up?
Rayanne: The silent treatment.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: I'm talking to you right now, aren't I?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Yeah well, Rayanne, what exact reaction did you expect?
Rayanne: Forget it.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: No, I mean it Rayanne. What did you expect her to feel like?
Rayanne: She didn't even hear my side!
[Rickie walks away]
Rayanne: Great, think what you want. You will anyway!
Angela: I read what you wrote. I would hardly believe how beautiful it was.
Jordan: Look... I'm not. I don't want to pretend like...
Angela: I don't want to pretend, either.
Jordan: I'm glad you liked it, but...
Angela: I didn't like it. I loved it. I loved it.
Jordan: I have all these dreams where I know exactly what to say. And you tell me, you know, that you forgive me.
Patty: Well I have to say, from everything you've told me, I think it's clear that you never really meant to hurt her.
Jordan: It's like, you think you're safe or something. Because you can just walk away anytime. Because you don't, like, need her. You don't need anyone. But the thing you didn't realize is you're wrong.
Jordan: Do you always wear this much makeup?
Patty: Um, I was expecting company. An old friend. That was he just now on the phone. Seems that he has the touch of the flu or something and he took this decongestant or something and was afraid to drive.
Patty: This was a person who drove so recklessly when he was 17 that my parents wanted him dead.
Jordan: Wow. Ironic.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: So where were you all day? Like I can't guess.
Angela: What do you mean? What can't you guess?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Angela, I know all about it. Like, I know about the letter.
Angela: You know about the letter? How could you know?
Angela: Brian Krakow. The reason for all pain.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: You realize that Brian wrote that letter, right?
Angela: Well, yeah. I kinda figured that.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Okay good. I don't feel so bad for blabbing it, then. I kinda figured you'd figure it out.
Angela: Well, yeah.
Rayanne: Don't tell her I was here. I mean I guess you will because you guys are tight.
Rayanne: It's not like she tells you everything, but you know...
Rayanne: But, like, if something really horrible happened.
Patty: Did something really horrible happen?
Rayanne: I guess. But I didn't really think it was. She said she was totally over him.
Patty: You mean Jordan?
Rayanne: Otherwise, I would have never done it. Cause it's not something either of us really... it was just like, this thing that happened. It was just, like, there.
Patty: You and Jordan?
Rayanne: You hate my guts. I mean, I guess I would too. If I were you.
Patty: No. No, no, I don't hate you. I guess I can certainly understand how Angela feels.
Rayanne: I've never really hurt somebody this bad before. It's hard to believe, but I guess you can't really hurt someone this bad unless you really matter to them. Please don't tell her I was here.
Angela: Brian, look at me. That letter I told you about. Rickie said you wrote it. And I have to know because...
Brian: Know what? There's nothing to know. Okay, what Rickie probably meant was Jordan Catalano asked me to proofread it for grammatical errors.
Angela: You proofread a love letter? Is this, like, a game to you?
Angela: But you admit that you were involved.
Brian: I'm not admitting anything!
Angela: This is a joke, right? Oh God. I can't believe I fell for it. It's obviously a total lie.
Brian: No, I meant every word. I mean, the person who wrote it meant every word. Probably.
Brian: I didn't write it.
Angela: Brian, you said...
Brian: Forget what I said! Forget this whole conversation!
Brian: You liked it, though. Right? It made you, like, happy.
Brian: Because that's probably all that matters.
Angela: To who?
Brian: To, you know, the person who wrote it.
Jordan: I brought your bike back. Or whoever's it is.
Angela: So, are we supposed to say something? Like official?
Jordan: You don't have to say anything.
Angela: It was sort of like when you were letting me drive your car and I loved it. It made me feel really powerful, but also really terrified. Like, I wasn't ready for that much freedom.
Jordan: Well, you should know I won't hold it against you. If your name ever comes up.
Jordan: No sweat.
Angela: Because, it is a big deal. I mean, sex made your whole life start and if you think about life as like, a circle, or something, then sex and death are the same. Look, I'm not saying they're the same. I've thought about having sex with you and, God I've never seriously thought about killing you.
Jordan: Okay! Okay. At least, you got in some driving practice. Just don't take your turns too wide, or anything. I'm sure you won't.
Angela: [Narration] Sometimes, somebody says something really small, and it just fits right in an empty place in your heart.
Angela: Your hair. The way it's really soft in the back. I'm really going to miss that.
Angela: Yeah. I guess this is it, so... goodbye.
Jordan: Bye. I'll see you tomorrow.
Jordan: Angela, can I talk to you for a second? How you doing?
Angela: You know, life goes on.
Jordan: Look, I was thinking about what I said to you yesterday. You know, the thing.
Angela: Right, the thing.
Jordan: Yeah, Look, um, I'm sorry about that. Afterwards, I thought it through and I can see how you got upset.
Angela: No, I wasn't upset.
Jordan: I mean, some girls wouldn't be. But you... you're not like that, so I just wanted to say, you know, I'm sorry.
Angela: No, it's really okay. It wasn't a problem. Really, I didn't think about it. I mean, I did think about it. And I thought maybe what you were saying wasn't so wrong.
Jordan: No. It was really wrong.
Jordan: I just wanted you to know, if it would make you feel better, I'm just gonna make it real clear that I don't have any real interest in you or anything. You know, so they'll stop saying all that. I barely even know you, which is of course true and that basically you and I mean nothing to each other. So that should solve the problem.
Jordan: It's the least I could do, you know?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: What do you need to hide from? Your life is perfect. I'm serious. I would give anything to have your life.
Angela: My life is so pathetic.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: You have this great house, parents that are there, and no one bothers you at school.
Angela: Rickie, I need to talk to you about the gun.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Don't.
Angela: You can't carry a gun, Rickie. Because it would be really bad. Tragically bad.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Angela, I don't carry a gun. I don't even know how to shoot one.
Angela: But, didn't Brian see you? Isn't that what he's going to tell them? This is really serious. People are going to think you're a dangerous person.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: I know. That's what I want.
Angela: So, what did happen?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: My cousin brought it in to sell it. And I got really mad at him for bringing a gun into school. So we got in this big argument, and the next thing I knew it fell out of the box and went off. And he peed in his pants and ran away.
Angela: He did not!
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: He did. Big stain.
Angela: So that's what happened with the gun?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: That's the whole story of the gun.
Angela: Hi. So, I have the money. You have my ID, right?
Angela: So, this is your car?
Jordan: [shrugs] Get in.
Angela: I can't go anywhere. I mean, I should stay here. It's a long story.
Jordan: I didn't say go anywhere.
Jordan: How old are you?
Angela: I don't believe this. What is your point?
Jordan: You act younger.
Angela: First of all, you don't know me well enough to say how old I seem. And second...
Jordan: You talk a lot.
Angela: I've said like, 8 sentences to you my entire life.
Jordan: This whole day has been one long thing that makes no sense.
Jordan: Look, I didn't say anything about... you know.
Angela: I know.
Jordan: I just wanted you to know that.
Angela: Thank you.
Jordan: Because I'm not like that. I don't do that.
Jordan: So weird, huh?
Angela: Yeah, yeah.
Jordan: The way people talk. I mean, people think we did it.
Angela: I know.
Jordan: It's like, we might as well have done it anyway at this point. I mean, if everybody's talking about it already... I mean, maybe we... uh... not to make a big deal out of it or anything.
Angela: Out of what?
Jordan: Out of anything. I mean, if everybody's already assuming it anyway. Maybe we could just...
Angela: I think I have to go.
Jordan: Look, I'm sorry if I... no pressure or anything.
Angela: Oh, it's okay. I have to go!
Jordan: You could just think about it.
Angela: I was just thinking. Could you maybe have dyslexia?
Jordan: What, that backwards thing?
Angela: Lots of people have it. My father's brother has it. It makes reading incredibly difficult because it, like...
Jordan: Let's not talk about this.
Angela: Reverses things. I'm sorry. It's actually not, I mean, a lot of really intelligent people are dyslexic. Just because a person can't read...
Jordan: Hey. I can read, okay? Just not that good.
Sharon Cherski: I'm gonna go do that extra credit thing.
Jordan: [to Angela] Can't believe we have to use all those words in a sentence. I mean, not all in the same sentence, but still. So I'm still doing that tutoring thing. You know?
[Angela ignores him]
Jordan: Yeah. So guess what? There's, like, a term for me. I'm a rudimentary reader with low literacy skills. That kid, Brain, figured it out from this manual. Let's see what else... oh, my band got back together. We got a new name. We're Residue now. So I've been writing songs.
Angela: Why are you telling me all this?
Jordan: I don't know. I mean, you're the one who signed me up for tutoring in the first place, so. Forget it.
Sharon Cherski: He had the nerve to talk to you? I don't believe him! Aw, Chase-face you're, like, shaking.
Sharon Cherski: Angela, come on.
Angela: I'm gonna be late for homeroom. What?
Jordan: I did an undefendable thing. I created my own prison and I have to exist in it. Maybe I had a wish, or whatever, to punish you. An unconscious wish. You've heard of them, right?
Angela: No, I think so. I can't believe it. What you just said was really amazing.
Jordan: I know.
Jordan: Okay, what?
Angela: Okay, now we can have a serious talk.
Jordan: We just did.
Angela: Oh, come on. You can't hit a person with something that profound and expect that to be the end of the discussion.
Jordan: You can't? Oh, uh, I forgot. I'm late for homeroom.
Jordan: You know those guys in in the mountains?
Angela: What guys?
Jordan: Who make snow, like as their job.
Angela: Oh, yeah.
Jordan: I'd really like to do that.
Angela: Like, part-time or...
[Jordan kisses Angela]
Jordan: I'm sorry.
Angela: For what?
Jordan: I interrupted you.
Jordan: This is wrong.
Jordan: You doing my homework. It's wrong.
Angela: Well, I was just trying to help.
Jordan: It's like I'm taking advantage of you, or something.
Angela: You're not taking advantage of me.
Jordan: Yeah, I am. It would be different if we were like... but now, you're just a friend or whatever. I can't do this anymore.
Jordan: I was so close yesterday, but it wasn't enough. She's like, starved or something. It's gotta be written down so I can't screw it up.
Brian: So, write her a letter.
[Jordan stares at Brian]
Brian: No. No! I am not writing a letter to Angela Chase for you. I can't.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Brian, what did you do?
Brian: I wrote this letter to her.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Oh my God. And she thinks he wrote it? Brian, you have to tell her.
Brian: No! What difference does it make? So they happen to be together, so what? If you, like, analyze why certain other people wind up with certain other people, it would make you want to kill yourself.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Tell her.
Brian: No, it wouldn't be right. See, he asked me for help. I helped him. I can't go back on that.
Angela: You're not going to class?
Jordan: What's it to you?
Angela: You know you're gonna get expelled. Don't you care?
Jordan: Don't matter.
Angela: Of course it matters.
Jordan: She's looking to throw me out, okay? She's been waiting for this. She thinks I'm a loser.
Angela: You're crazy to let her tell you what you are.
Jordan: What are you talking about?
Angela: She doesn't know you. She doesn't know who you are! You can't let her decide what you do.
Jordan: Hey! I decide what I do! And maybe I wanna get kicked out.
Angela: Maybe you do, but that doesn't mean people can't try and stop you. And tell you. I know you think how could someone like me understand, only I do.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: If you must know, she's in shock. Once again something that Jordan Catalano did had left her totally and completely mystified.
Brian: It was me. I mean, I told Jordan what to say.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: What?
Brian: I can't, like, defend it. It's undefendable.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Brian, I don't believe this. You're using Jordan Catalano.
Brian: What? He's using me!
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Yeah, but you're using him too. To, like, express your true feelings towards Angela. Or whatever.
Brian: Oh my God, you're right.
Brian: You tell me a story, a true story that happened to you, and I take certain keywords from the story and make flash cards.
Jordan: I blew it.
Brian: Wait, is this the story?
Jordan: Forget about the story. I can't think about some crappy story. My life sucks too much.
Brian: Yeah, how come?
Jordan: Because she hates me and I deserve it. You know who I mean, right?
Jordan: Today, after Katimski's, I tried to explain to her that I was sorry, or whatever.
Brian: So, what happened?
Jordan: Nothing. I didn't know what to say.
Brian: Say you're sorry. You can go up to any girl and get her phone number, yet you're afraid to tell Angela Chase you're sorry?
Brian: So nothing. It's just ironic.
Jordan: So what.
Jordan: What's ironic?
Brian: When you realize the like component of weirdness in a situation.
Jordan: Help me, Brain. Help me figure out something good to say to Angela.
Brian: No! No, uh-uh, no way. Look, you did an undefendable thing. No one can change that. I mean, You have to live with it. It's like you created your own prison and now you have to exist in it.
Jordan: That's perfect. Give me some more stuff like that.
Vic Racine: What's that word? Don't look at the window. What's the word?
Vic Racine: What's the sound? Okay. Finish the chapter and the next 10 poems tonight.
Jordan: What? Are you crazy?
Vic Racine: Yeah, good question. Look this is haiku poetry. Haiku poetry only contains 17 syllables per poem. That ain't a lot of syllables. Don't skip any. Get out of my sight!
[Jordan storms out of the classroom]
Graham: Um... my daughter is in your class. I mean, in the class that you're substituting for. My wife and I, we run a small printing shop. Well, actually she runs it. Anyway, I've come by for the submissions for the Lit. Angela forgot to mention that they have to be at the shop by the morning.
Vic Racine: [slams desk] That kid who just left here. That extremely smart kid. It seems that nobody ever bothered to notice he never quite learned how to read! I mean, it pisses me off.
Jordan: Wow, food!
Angela: What are you doing here? It's late. It's really late. My parents are right upstairs.
Jordan: They are?
Angela: Well, they live here.
Jordan: Well, you said you wanted to do it in your room while your parents were asleep.
Angela: I was joking! Seriously, you have to go.
Jordan: So, you know that empty house on Cloverdale? The one that's been for sale for, like, forever.
Angela: [hears noise] Wait a second.
Jordan: Tino found a way to get in through this window in the back. So people have been going there. You know, to have a place to go. So you want to? Friday night.
Angela: Like, breaking and entering?
Jordan: Just entering so we can, you know, be somewhere.
[runs out of kitchen]
Patty: Didn't I predict this? Didn't I predict that this would happen? Didn't I tell you that you'd be hungry later? Now, look, I'm not trying to interfere. But I think that it's important that we all eat dinner together as a family.
Angela: No, me too! I agree. Absolutely, as a family.
Patty: Okay. You finish up whatever it is that you're nibbling on in there and don't leave a mess for me to clean up. Oh, and don't forget what we talked about tonight. About daddy and me meeting your friend Jordan.
Angela: Shh! I won't.
Patty: Sweetheart! There's nothing to be embarrassed about. You like this Jordan. I have no problem with that. We just want to meet him!
Jordan: So you like me? I mean, your mother says you like me.
Angela: Shut up!
Jordan: So, Friday night?
Angela: Right, the house.
Jordan: There are like eight bedrooms.
Angela: That many.
Patty: I can't believe that Jordan Catalano was here and I missed him!
Hallie Lowenthal: Oh honey, we're talking gorgeous.
Patty: I can't believe it! I missed everything. What is he like?
Graham: Oh, you know.
Patty: No! I don't know! That's why I'm asking.
Graham: Well, I don't know. He's a kid.
Hallie Lowenthal: You're asking a man to describe someone when I'm sitting here? He was just like, fairly out of it. Not unintelligent. Sort of like, stray puppy. You know the type you just want to ease their pain? He might even be, like, a halfway decent person. But let me tell you, trouble! Way too gorgeous.
Patty: Thank you.
Jordan: How long are we supposed to keep doing this?
Angela: I know. I mean, what do you mean?
Jordan: You know what I mean.
Angela: Well, yeah. But what do you want me to do? I mean, I know what you want me to do, but... Do you ever get obsessed with your rear view mirror, like, while you're driving?
Jordan: Look, can't we just?
Angela: Just what? Do it? Right here in a parking lot?
Jordan: We're not in a parking lot. We're in a car. Why, where do you want to do it?
Angela: Oh, I don't know. How about in my room tonight after my parents fall asleep. We'll have to be really quiet.
Angela: What? You actually expect me to choose a place?
Jordan: Well, yeah.
Angela: I better go to geometry.
Graham: Oh, back at you.
Jordan: Is Angela here?
Graham: Are you Jordan?
Jordan: Yeah. Are you her dad?
Graham: Yeah. So you guys are going to a party?
Jordan: Is that what Angela said?
Graham: You mean you're not?
Jordan: No, we are.
Brad: So, do you have a major?
Jordan: I don't think so.
Hallie Lowenthal: Oh, you'd probably know if you did.
Jordan: Yeah. I probably would have gotten, like, a letter or something.
Patty: Were we wrong down there about Rickie?
Graham: No, we weren't wrong.
Patty: I mean, what do we really know about that boy? You know?
Graham: Virtually nothing.
Patty: We've never met his family. How on Earth are we supposed to know what the situation is?
Graham: I know. Except, I do think he does make you kind of uncomfortable.
Patty: What do you mean? Because he wears makeup?
Graham: No, I'm just saying. What if that was Brian Krakow with bruises on his face? Well? That would be a different story, wouldn't it?
Patty: Graham, you can't compare them. I mean, I've known Brian Krakow since he was five years old.
Graham: I know, so have I! All I'm asking is, should that make a difference?
Patty: Well, maybe not. But it does.
Graham: I know.
Sharon Cherski: [inner monologues] I resolve to never again have sex with Kyle, or anyone, ever again unless I really love and respect them.
Kyle Vinnovich: To spend more time with the dog and Sharon.
Brian: I resolve to stop obsessing over Angela Chase.
Danielle Chase: To badger mom into letting me wear makeup.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: To find someplace where I, like, really belong.
Angela: But, what if not thinking turns me into this really shallow person? I better rethink this becoming less introspective thing.
Rayanne: To stop drinking. But this time, like, really stop.
Patty: I resolve to be less judgmental. Less critical. To lighten up. And, above all, to be more supportive and less suspicious not matter how much it seems like he's hiding something.
Graham: To tell Hallie Lowenthal once and for all that I'm not going into the restaurant business with her. And to stop all those long talks with her after class.
Jordan: Wait a second. Isn't tonight New Years Eve?
Angela: Okay, so I'll stay introspective. But I do resolve to stop doing Jordan Catalano's homework.
Jordan: She would sleep with you.
Brian: [shocked] What?
Jordan: She would sleep with you!
Brian: Because I gave her my eraser?
Jordan: No. Because... because she would. Go get her number.
Brian: What? How am I supposed to get her number? Just ask her? Ask some girl I don't even know for her phone number? Like, without warning?
Jordan: [Jordan gets up to gets her number] So anyway, The Odyssey is like this real long book, right?
Brian: I don't believe this. You, like, do this? This is how you live?
Brian: That girl whose, like, number you got for me. She's a junior, so I don't know if you still think I should call her. I mean, I can't stop thinking about how you did that. You just got up and went over there. I mean, like, how did you do that?
Jordan: Maybe we better get down to work. You can even start with the basics.
Brian: Oh, okay.
Jordan: I mean, even if it seems too basic, start with that. And then after, if you want, I can teach you how to get someone's phone number.
Jordan: Shh. The fact that we come here, let's keep, like uh, our secret.
Jordan: No reason.
Rayanne: Don't tell anyone what?
Angela: That I'm meeting Jordan Catalano in the boiler room. Just, don't tell anyone.
Angela: Because. He doesn't want people to, like, know about us yet. Or something.
Rayanne: Angela, you're letting Jordan Catalano control you.
Angela: What? Who says he's controlling me? I can't believe this. For months you've been trying to convince me to do all these things I'd never dream of doing. And now that I'm actually doing them you're... I mean, haven't you made out with guys in the boiler room hundreds of times?
Angela: So, are they controlling you?
Rayanne: No, because I am not you. Because as I've stated a hundred times, I don't get my emotions involved. I'm the type of person who can handle the boiler room. You are not.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Could I speak to you before class about The Odyssey?
Richard Katimski: Of course! If you wanna take that donut off my hands, by the way, be my guest. I gave up coffee for New Years and that's kinda taken the point out of donuts. What's up?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: You know that essay that I never handed in? About what Odysseus wants. Uh, can I get an extension?
Richard Katimski: Okay?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Because I read it. It's about this lonely guy that wanders the world for, like, many years. Right?
Richard Katimski: Right.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: And the way that it starts, like, in the middle. What's that called again? I know you told us.
Richard Katimski: In medias res. In the middle of things.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Right. Because, see... um... Right now it's sort of, like, I don't have a place to live.
Richard Katimski: But... I mean, what happened?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: But, it's okay. It's gonna be fine. I was staying at my friend Angela's house for a while, and they're really nice. They're this really great family, but in a way that made me feel lonelier. And I know that sounds ungrateful.
Richard Katimski: No, no, I understand.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: And see, my uncle... I was living with my aunt and uncle because... it's sort of a long story.
Angela: Look if this is weird for you... being tutored... I don't mind helping you a little longer.
Jordan: It's not so weird.
Angela: Oh. Good!
Jordan: You could have sex with me, though. If you really wanna help.
Angela: [laughing] Woah! Oh God!
Jordan: I guess that's a no.
Angela: [laughing harder] I'll let you get back to your work.
Sharon Cherski: Okay, so what's the deal with Angela and Jordan Catalano?
Rayanne: Here's an idea... ask her!
Sharon Cherski: I can't. She'll think I'm checking up on her. So are they, like, a couple?
Rayanne: From the point of view of what I believe or what she believes?
Sharon Cherski: From the point of view of reality.
Rayanne: What do you think?
Sharon Cherski: I'd have to say, I think she could really get hurt.
Rayanne: Tell me something I don't know.
Angela: Rickie, I had someone to be with, you know.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: I know. I can't even imagine it.
Angela: I feel so stupid. My entire relationship with Jordan Catalano, every minute of it, completely sucked. And now it's over. I should have just had sex with him. Why not? It would have been so simple.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: But maybe it shouldn't be so simple. I mean, not that I know what I'm talking about or anything, because I've never experienced this. But even if I did meet the perfect person, I just think it should be like a miracle. Like, seeing a comet or just feeling like you're seeing one. Seeing the other person's perfectness, or something. And if you do it before you're even ready, how are you gonna see all that? Not that I would know or anything.
Angela: I need to be alone.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: You've been alone.
Angela: No, I mean for years.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Look.
Angela: I can't believe it! That they would do that! I mean, who do they think they are?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: I know. I mean, I don't know, but...
Angela: I could kill them! I'm serious. Both of them, with my hands.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: I know, but you can't hide in here forever.
Angela: Sorry, I'm not risking the risk of running into her or him. Or God, him and her
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Well, it's never gonna happen. Because they're completely avoiding each other.
Angela: I can't talk about them. Like, a them.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: I know.
Angela: They're avoiding each other?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Angela, look, you can't let their stupid actions control you. You gotta lead your own life.
Angela: You're right. Fine. Two can play at that game.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: What game?
Angela: Oh, come on, they think I'm some kind of innocent twit who they can treat as bad as they want. Well, they're wrong.
Angela: Please, can we just get really drunk or something?
Rayanne: What the hell are you talking about? You don't drink. Excuse us.
Angela: Get away from me.
Rayanne: Well, I got the part. I would have never gotten it if it wasn't for you.
Angela: Look, I don't care anymore. Okay? So just go away.
Rayanne: You're not the only one who got hurt.
Angela: Well forgive me if I can't feel sorry for you, Rayanne.
Rayanne: You lost nothing, Angela! You lost a lousy, selfish friend and a guy you never really had. You lost nothing! I lost a really good friend. I lost everything.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: [Rayanne leaves] I'm glad she got that part. She wanted that part.
Angela: What? Who's side are you on?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: I'm on your side. It's impossible to be on Rayanne's side, even though I partly understand it.
Angela: What do you mean?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: I mean, face it. She's always partly wanted to be you. And in a way, I think this was her screwed up way of for one night kind of pretending she was you. I mean I'm on your side, no question, but can I just ask you something? Why are you making this big play for Corey Halfrick when you know how I feel about him?
Angela: Because, I thought. You once told me that you were over him.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: But guess how I felt when you started going after him.
Angela: I don't have to guess.
Jordan: What I still can't figure out is why Tino even quit. That's what is so frustrating. Can you imagine what that's like? To have to sit around and try to figure out what someone else is, like, thinking?
Rayanne: Hey, what's up?
Angela: Oh, Rayanne. Hi. So my parents said you stopped by yesterday, but I thought you said you weren't going to.
Rayanne: No problem. Guzzled a six pack, two hits of X, I was back to new. So, Catalano... how's it going?
Angela: I was just saying how Frozen Embryos go in at this open mic night at Vertigo. That coffee house.
Rayanne: I know what Vertigo is.
Angela: Right. Well, they still don't have a lead singer. So like, should they blow it off or try to find somebody new by Thursday, or...
Rayanne: So, Tino's still being a low life, huh?
Jordan: Could you two, like, leave?
Angela: [Narration] Jordan Catalano and I had pretty much broken up, but he still knew the combination to my locker.
Angela: What's wrong?
Jordan: Nothing. Just...
Angela: [Narration] You need me. You must have me as your own. You can't live another second knowing others can possess me.
Jordan: I could kill Tino.
Danielle Chase: [Answers phone] Hello? Angela! Telephone.
Angela: Danielle, hang up! Danielle, I know you're listening. I can hear the TV.
Patty: Danielle, come on. Let's respect Angela's privacy.
Jordan: So, Rayanne Graff is here.
Angela: Rayanne is there? Oh. What's she doing there?
Jordan: I don't know. I was sorta gonna ask you. I mean, no one even invited her. Now she's, like, coming onto my drummer acting like she's high. What does she want?
Angela: I don't know. I don't have anything to do with it. So how's rehearsal going?
Jordan: Sucks. Right now everyone's basically just sitting around the loft drinking beer.
Angela: Danielle, hang up!
Angela: Um, so I'm really sorry about Rayanne. I'm glad you called, though. This is the first time you've ever called me on the phone.
Jordan: I gotta go.
Angela: So, Rickie was really scared. I was too. So what, you're mad at me because I didn't get to hear you sing?
Rayanne: You didn't miss much. Just me making a fool out of myself. You've seen that plenty, right? I knew you wouldn't show.
Rayanne: I can't stand these looks.
Angela: What looks?
Rayanne: You and Rickie looking at me like I'm gonna lose control or, like, any minute I'm gonna go on some jag or something. I just can't stand knowing what you're thinking about me.
Angela: What am I thinking?
Rayanne: That I'm too messed up for you to be my friend anymore.
Angela: Rayanne, that's not true! I never... I'm still your friend. Nothing's changed.
Angela: But that wasn't completely true, either. And we both knew it.
Rayanne: Maybe it was just easier, you know. When you'd come to me for advice and stuff. Like you used to before.
Angela: I should have been there last night. I should have been there for you no matter what.
Rayanne: I miss you.
Angela: I know. I missed you too.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: [hugs Rayanne] I swear to God, I'm gonna kill you.
Jordan: I can't even face rehearsal tonight. There's gonna be like, this big empty hole where Tino used to be.
Angela: I'm really sorry. I mean, I'm sure it's all gonna work out. You'll find someone, somehow.
Jordan: Yeah right.
Angela: So listen, this is probably a really stupid idea but would Frozen Embryos ever want, like, a girl? I mean to sing. Like, I don't know, Rayanne Graff or something.
Jordan: Rayanne? Graff.
Angela: Right. Yeah, I know. Forget it. I'll see ya.
Rayanne: Just so you know, I didn't drink that whiskey. I poured it back. You can ask Angela.
Patty: You haven't had one drink since that night in the hospital?
Rayanne: Nope. Swear to God.
Patty: Why didn't you tell me you stopped seeing your counselor?
Rayanne: I don't know. Just because I wanted you to think I was okay so you wouldn't mind if I stayed friends with Angela.
Patty: I guess she means a lot to you, huh?
Rayanne: I guess that's, like, the one think you and I have in common. Thanks for the ride, Mrs. Chase.
Patty: Apparently you and I are in the same karass. Call me Patty.
Rayanne: Patty... thanks. For, like, my life.
Jordan: Hey Graff. The Vertigo guy called. Our audition is tonight.
Jordan: Yeah, so try to think of a name.
Rayanne: Forget a name! We're not ready.
Jordan: We'll do okay. Just wear something tight.
Rayanne: That's your solution? Cut off my circulation? We need a real rehearsal!
Jordan: Look, you wanted this chance. You got it. Don't blow it.
Angela: Did you see that girl just now?
Jordan: What girl?
Angela: With the guitar.
Jordan: Well, that's her name?
Angela: I don't know. She knows Rickie.
Jordan: He still crashing at that place?
Angela: What place?
Jordan: That old warehouse on Tennessee. I brought him there.
Angela: You brought him somewhere?
Jordan: Yeah he was, like, I'm gonna light a candle for you and I was like, don't waste your match. I know I shouldn't say stuff like that. I don't even completely mean it. What? You miss him? Come on, I'll bring you there.
Angela: Oh, thanks.
Jordan: So, you crying or something?
Angela: I guess.
Jordan: How come?
Angela: [Narration] Because I'm lonely. Because I have no friends. Because I'm a terrible, terrible person.
Angela: Because my friend's father is in the hospital and he could die.
[Hugs Jordan and is interrupted]
Jordan: That's... that's rough. I better go.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Um... she's a little upset. I guess, well, because of... well, nevermind.
Jordan: No, what?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Um, I guess you know she figures, why didn't you call or something?
Jordan: Yeah, that makes sense. She just... she, like, wanted me to meet her parents. I just, I wasn't in the mood. You know? It's like she knows to much about me, or something. And not really, but she just makes too big a deal out of everything. She makes everything too complicated. Anyway.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Well, it was partly that song that you wrote. She really liked it. And it was obvious what it was about, so...
Jordan: Yeah. My car.
Jordan: So, what's up?
Angela: I can't get that song you wrote, like, out of my mind.
Jordan: I'm still not done writing it, so...
Angela: Well, there's this movie and it kinda reminds me of your song. Or your song kinda reminds me of the movie. But, hearing it kinda makes me want to go see the movie again.
Jordan: Oh. Uh, yeah. We could do that.
Angela: Yeah! But, uh, the thing is... this is gonna sound so weird. My parents are kinda like from the stone age. But um, they have to meet you. Before.
Jordan: Before what?
Angela: Before we could go to the movie.
Jordan: Oh. Yeah, okay.
Angela: Yeah. I mean you could just come by, like, tonight anytime and it would be settled. And we could just go to the movie anytime this weekend.
Shane: Catalano! Let's go.
Angela: So, would you want to do that? Like say around, 7:30?
Jordan: Yeah, sure. Why not.
Brian: So Chase, you still have my Malcolm X. Right?
Angela: Yeah. So?
Brian: So, I need it back. Okay?
[goes to talk to Jordan]
Patty: I don't think this was such a terrible evening.
Graham: I never said it was.
Patty: Yeah, but you're sitting there thinking it.
Graham: You don't know what I'm thinking.
Patty: Oh, shut up! How could you say that about my hair?
Graham: What did I say?
Patty: That it shows my ears more! What kind of a thing is that to say? You think I felt like tangoing with you after that?
Graham: I didn't know what to say. All of a sudden there's this... this pressure to, you know... um, compliment you and lead.
Patty: There is something wrong here. Am I right? We're drifting apart from seeing each other too much. We have become like furniture to each other, or something. I mean have we become incompatible? Because, we are terrible. We are terrible dancers!
Graham: So what?
Patty: So how can we have been together for so long and not be able to dance together?
Graham: Because! Because we have been together for so long!
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Oh, sorry.
Jordan: Public property.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Well I was just leaving, so...
Jordan: Wish I was. Every year, we come out here, we tear up the track, and throw garbage cans over. God, it's getting old.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Well, can't you just go?
Jordan: No. No. We still gotta find the guy who egged Tino's car. That's like, something I can't get out of. It's always the same. But you come because you think, you know, maybe something cool will happen. Because what if something did happen and you missed it? You better get out of here, though. These guys are pretty ripped.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Okay.
Angela: I'm supposed to give you a message.
Jordan: From Tino?
Angela: No. From Mrs. Learner.
Angela: Mrs. Learner. She's been our English teacher for over a month, now. She says you have to start showing up to class, or she's going to have you kicked out.
Jordan: So, what's the message?
Angela: That you're gonna get kicked out of school.
Jordan: Like it's doing so much for me.
Angela: You're welcome! Don't you even care?
Rayanne: We gotta find Angela!
Brian: We can't. We looked. Get over it.
Rayanne: It's so dark. Why does it got to be so dark? This is all your fault! You were looking at me.
Brian: What are you talking about?
Rayanne: You were scoping my legs and you let the stupid door shut! You must be so hard up.
[Brian gets up]
Rayanne: Where you going?
Brian: Anywhere you're not.
Rayanne: Brian? Brian, don't go! I'm scared. I'm scared of the dark, okay? Have fun telling all your little friends
Brian: You are? I mean, it just doesn't seem like something you'd be.
Rayanne: Yeah, well, I am.
Brian: Is there a reason? Why?
Rayanne: Because when I was a kid, my dad would come home, wigged out of his mind, and he'd lock me in the basement.
Brian: Oh my God.
Rayanne: I'd sleep at the foot of the stairs because if I pressed my face against the floor, I could see the light that we left on in the hallway. But if I turned around, it would be...
[Brian hugs Rayanne]
Rayanne: So dark.
Patty: Oh, sweetheart! Are you okay?
Sharon Cherski: I guess. It's just that my boyfriend is, like, missing.
Patty: He's going to be fine, your dad. Angela sends her love, by the way.
Sharon Cherski: Okay.
Patty: Camille, how can we help? Please, let us help. Let us take Sharon home with us.
Sharon Cherski: What?
Camille Cherski: Oh!
Graham: It's not a bad idea if your mom's gonna stay here.
Sharon Cherski: Uh, mom. Can I talk to you for a second? I can stay home alone by myself.
Camille Cherski: You know what? Why don't you let them take you home. They're just trying to help. I'm going to be fine here. You know that, right? Are you okay?
Sharon Cherski: Oh, yeah. No. Yes, I'm fine.
Camille Cherski: I'll talk to you later, sweetie.
Sharon Cherski: Great.
Angela: I can't believe you. What about Brian?
Sharon Cherski: Angela! Kyle is my boyfriend. I hate to tell you.
Angela: Well, Brian Krakow happens to be waiting in my living room, and I don't know what you're doing with him.
Sharon Cherski: Nothing! Nothing, we're just friends.
Angela: Yeah, when Kyle's not around and you feel like using him.
Sharon Cherski: You are lecturing me about using Brian Krakow? When he is, like, so obviously in love with you. You would totally use him!
Angela: Brian Krakow is not in love with me!
Sharon Cherski: That's not what Rayanne Graff says.
Angela: You know what? Just don't even speak to me. Okay?
Rayanne: You know that girl Angela Chase?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: That red-headed girl?
Rayanne: Yeah, some red-head. It's out of a bottle. Well anyway, is she avoiding us?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: I think she is. I think we make her physically ill, or something.
Rayanne: I think so because... oh, Angela. Hi!
Angela: Very funny.
Rayanne: So, I guess you've heard Sharon's dad is okay.
Angela: That's great! No, I hadn't heard. I'm obviously the last person in Pittsburgh to hear. So, you friends with Sharon now?
Rayanne: So? You are.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Look, we all know what's going on around here. Okay? Which is that you are jealous.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: And you! You are totally flipped because Rayanne finally did something nice, for once in her life.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Which she did by taking Sharon to go visit her dad.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: And now both of you just want to be sure that both of you are still friends. Which you are. So shut up!
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Mrs. Chase, I really appreciate what you did tonight.
Patty: It's okay.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Has there ever been someone...
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Did you ever try to protect someone so much that it hurt?
Patty: That wasn't your beer the other day, was it?
Angela: I guess I kinda screwed everything up for you today. With the party.
Patty: No. You did the right thing. You called me. I mean it. You promise me that you'll always do that? You'll always call?
Angela: Okay! Okay, I promise. How did you know all that stuff? Like, what to do?
Patty: I had this roommate in college who actually was a lot like Rayanne, now that I'm remembering.
Angela: You're kidding. So, what happened?
Patty: Well, pretty much what happened tonight. Except she died.
Angela: So, did you like her?
Patty: A lot.
Angela: How old was she?
Patty: Angela, what I'm seeing in your future is so frightening. It scares the hell out of me. I mean, what do I do? Do I just not let you see her anymore? Would that even work?
Angela: No. Mom, I can't... she's my friend. Please, just trust me.
Patty: Actually, I do.
Sharon Cherski: I can't believe that you can't even be nice to me.
Angela: Why do you even need me to be nice to you? Since everybody else in the world is.
Patty: I could have died. I did die! I mean, this woman knows and I don't know. She's not even a woman. She's like this 40-year old girl. She's gorgeous and she's telling me about my daughter's sex life, which apparently she now has, and I don't even know about it.
Graham: Look, the girl talked to her mother. We don't know if it's true.
Patty: Things are always true. Of course it's true.
Graham: Here, taste this.
Patty: I can't taste anything. Guns are going off at school, Angela's sleeping with someone.
Graham: You don't know that!
Patty: And even if she isn't, which I pray is true, she obviously has some kind of secret life which is completely apart from us. So what do we do? Do we confront her?
Graham: Oh God, no. I don't want to know if it's true.
Patty: What sort of attitude are we supposed to have? Are we supposed to have an attitude? I already have an attitude. It may be my mother's attitude. I don't want to get hysterical about this, but why not? Why shouldn't I be hysterical? She's fifteen! I should be hysterical.
Patty: Now that you and Jordan are...
Angela: Oh my God. Mom, please.
Patty: Angela, I can accept that you have a boyfriend.
Angela: I don't have a boyfriend!
Patty: Fine. A pal. A male pal. Whatever word you want to choose. The point is, I'm your mother and I don't think you're ready.
Patty: I don't think you're ready, but I have to know if this is what's happening because I don't think that I can keep you...
Angela: Please stop.
Patty: I need to know that you're using... I mean, I remember how this feels. I do. But, it's the times that we live in. Honey, I know that you don't want to think about these things. I know that you're invulnerable, but you have to use some kind of protection if you are going to be...
Angela: Mom! I'm not having sex! Alright? Really. I'm not even close, to an embarrassing degree.
Patty: Oh! Okay. I'm sorry, honey. I just... I want you to be prepared when the time comes. Whenever the time comes.
Angela: It will never come. Not with Jordan.
Patty: Honey, who is Jordan?
Angela: No one. You mean Jordan Catalano?
Patty: Is that his last name?
Angela: I don't know, you brought it up.
Patty: I met Rayanne's mom tonight and she was all excited about your new boyfriend, Jordan.
Angela: Boyfriend? That's a laugh.
Patty: So he's not your boyfriend?
Angela: Mom, I barely know this person. I don't know if I want to know this person.
Patty: Well then, you haven't?
Angela: What did you hear? What did she tell you?
Patty: Nothing. She didn't tell me anything.
Angela: Did she say I was sleeping with Jordan Catalano?
Patty: No! I mean, of course not. No one said that. It's just... well, I just wondered.
Angela: She did! Didn't she? I can't believe this. I can't believe this! I hate everyone.
Angela: I don't even want to talk to you.
Brian: Then don't.
Angela: Did Rickie have the gun?
Brian: Give me a break! God, Angela.
Angela: Because you don't know the whole situation. I just don't want to see him hurt.
Brian: Him hurt? What about me? This is the police. Am I supposed to get kicked out of school protecting someone I don't even know?
Angela: Don't ask me.
Brian: And you know, this doesn't even have anything to do with the truth. Nobody's interested in the truth. They only care about what they want to believe.
Angela: If you're so incredibly concerned about the truth, why did you lie about me?
Brian: You didn't even come up!
Angela: Not the gun thing. With Sharon! What you said to her about me and Jordan Catalano.
Brian: What are you talking about?
Angela: I heard her, Brian. You told her terrible things. False things. You lied to her.
Angela: [looking at photo album] Oh my God! Mom, he's cute.
Patty: I told you so.
Angela: I can't trust your judgment on cuteness. Mom! You went hitchhiking?
Patty: That is a totally fake picture! That never happened and it either of you girls ever attempt such a thing...
Danielle Chase: Mom, you really haven't seen him since high school?
Patty: Oh, I haven't even thought about him in years.
Jordan: Okay, let me see. That thing about the prison?
Brian: Just beg her forgiveness! I mean, tell her you're scum. That you're more than scum. That you're not fit to lick her shoes. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get insulting.
Jordan: Well, what about that other thing? You said your parents always say.
Brian: My parents are psychiatrists, okay! You can't go by them.
Jordan: What kind of wish?
Brian: Unconscious wish to punish you. I mean her.
Jordan: Got it.
Rayanne: Look Angela, I know we're not that close right now.
Angela: Look, I don't want to get into this right now. Alright?
Rayanne: Get into what?
Angela: Some big discussion about what happened between you and Jordan Catalano. Because the truth is, is that it happened, and nothing can change that. I don't want to talk about it.
Rayanne: Neither do I.
Angela: Oh, so why did you ask Rickie to leave?
Rayanne: I have to go to the bathroom. I need you to get me a jar.
Angela: I can't believe you.
Danielle Chase: That kind of thing gives me nightmares.
Patty: What kind of thing?
Danielle Chase: That you and daddy could get divorced.
Angela: Danielle, she's gonna see him for one hour to talk about restaurants.
Angela: Well, I mean a person can have feelings for someone even if they're not, like, the person anymore.
Patty: Sweetie, Tony Poole is someone I knew long, long ago.
Angela: Long, long ago. Like a fairy tale.
Patty: Right. But he's not who I chose to make my life with. I chose your dad.
Angela: But did you, like, love him?
Patty: I'm not sure. With Tony it was crazy. We really did some pretty crazy and wild things back then. I did! What can I say? But, it's always tempting to lose yourself with someone who's maybe lost themselves. But eventually, you want reality.
Danielle Chase: That makes sense.
Angela: So did you hear about that thing? Like, they're gonna exterminate 4th period lunch.
Jordan: I didn't hear that.
Angela: Oh, it's just something people are obsessing about. It's like sometimes, people fill their minds will only stupid things. You know? To keep themselves from thinking about, you know, what's really important.
Angela: Like this World Happiness Dance. It's so stupid. I mean, what does that even mean? Like if we dance the world is really gonna get happier. I mean, really? Come on. I don't think so.
Jordan: There's a dance?
Angela: Uh... yeah. You know there's like, 500 posters up around school
Jordan: Oh, right.
Angela: I guess I kinda mean the idea of the dance is kinda false. I mean, I doubt I'm even going. I'm sure you're obviously not going. Right?
Jordan: See, I have this philosophy.
Angela: You have a philosophy?
Jordan: Well, if I go somewhere and someone I know is there, then cool. There's something natural about it. But once you start making plans you have, like, obligations and that basically blows. So my feeling is whatever happens... happens.
Angela: I have to say, I really respect that.
Angela: What did Rickie want?
Angela: What did you say to him?
Brian: Nothing! I just said it was better that maybe he didn't, like, hang out with us.
Brian: I thought that might be awkward, or whatever.
Angela: Rickie's my friend.
Brian: He's my friend, too. It's just... I don't know. What if we wanted privacy, or something?
Angela: Why would we want privacy?
Brian: Well, we probably wouldn't. But...
Angela: Brian, what do you think is happening here?
Brian: What? Nothing!
Angela: Didn't I explain what the whole reasoning for this was?
Brian: I just thought if you wanted to dance, or something.
Angela: Why would we?
Angela: We're not going to dance.
Brian: So, it's sort of about the dance. It turns out that I kind of forgot about this other commitment that I had. It's kind of special, or whatever, so...
Brian: Of all the stupid things I've said, which are countless, I've never wanted to take something back more than that one.
Brian: Maybe we can go somewhere else sometime. Catch a movie, or whatever.
Delia Fisher: This other commitment. Is it another girl, or something? Brian, look, it doesn't matter who you told first. You know, if it was her or it was me. You should go with who you want to go with. Just be honest with me. Please?
Brian: Okay. So, I guess I would.
Delia Fisher: You would, what?
Brian: Rather go, you know, with her.
[Delia starts crying]
Brian: I'm really sorry.
Delia Fisher: It would be really good if you would leave.
Delia Fisher: Please?
Angela: What did you say to Delia?
Brian: What do you mean?
Angela: You don't understand people, Krakow. You're so heartless!
Brian: [narration] I mean, the fact that she called me heartless.
[Angela leaves to see Jordan Catalano]
Brian: That's just really good. That's excellent. How ironic can you get without, like, puking?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: So, Rayanne never called Corey.
Angela: Would you like me to kill her?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: That's a really nice offer, but the truth is that would only solve half of the problem.
Angela: What's the other half?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: The other half is, you know, the tough half.
Angela: Which is?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Which is just... that I belong nowhere. With no one. That I don't fit.
Brian: I don't even believe in making plans. Whatever happens, happens.
Angela: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Angela: [narration] All over school, there are these certain places that are, like, reserved for certain people. You're not supposed to cross certain lines. It's this unwritten law, like gravity or something. Like, in the basement near the north exit, there's this boiler room where certain people will, like, go for only one reason. I'd never been there. Ever in my life.
Graham: So, you enrolled me?
Patty: I mean, I know you've had your hands full with the wallpaper and everything, so... Graham, I just have this feeling that you're really going to enjoy this.
Graham: You signed me up.
Patty: Yeah. I know that sometimes it's hard for you to
Graham: [interrupts] What?
Patty: Focus. Look, I just thought... I mean, I know you like to cook.
Graham: It's not that I like to cook. It's this thing I can just do. The one thing I can do.
Patty: Well, that's just the point, sweetheart.
Angela: [making out with Jordan Catalano] I'm missing my geometry review. Luckily, it's optional.
Angela: [narration] We barely talked, so when we did it came out sounding really meaningful.
Sharon Cherski: Excuse me, have you ever been to a class?
Rayanne: Excuse me, I was addressing myself.
Angela: I'm not discussing Jordan Catalano.
Sharon Cherski: Why not? Why is he keeping you two a secret?
Angela: How do you know he's keeping us a secret?
Sharon Cherski: Rayanne told me.
Rayanne: Look, the only reason we talk like this is because we care about you. When I was drinking and drugging, you wanted me to stop, as my friend.
Angela: Wait... you're comparing me making out with Jordan Catalano to you getting your stomach pumped?
Rayanne: You don't see the connection?
Sharon Cherski: The connection is self-respect.
Rayanne: Thank you!
Sharon Cherski: Angela, the point is
Rayanne: [interrupts] Who is he? Who is he to treat you like this?
Sharon Cherski: Yeah! What, you're not cool enough for him to be seen with you?
Rayanne: Exactly. And she's not slutty enough for him to just do it with her and rag to his buds.
Rayanne: I mean, please. You deserve so much better.
Rayanne: What is holding hands? I don't get it. What are hands? It's not even an erogenous zone.
Sharon Cherski: [corrects pronunciation] It's erogenous. And it is to me.
Angela: You're both wrong. And if he doesn't want to be seen with me, then why did he ask me to meet him Friday night at Pike Street? To hear Buffalo Tom. Not like I can even go, I have too much geometry.
Sharon Cherski: Maybe I'll go. I like Buffalo Tom.
Sharon Cherski: What? I do! You know, I am sick of being perfect. I broke up with Kyle. I have a total right to screw up my midterms.
Rayanne: More like an obligation.
Richard Katimski: Would you be interested in joining drama club?
Rayanne: Would it get me out of anything?
Richard Katimski: I doubt it.
Brian: I don't believe you. You're in some kind of dream world, or something, that revolves around you! You have no concept of anybody else's life!
Angela: I know.
Brian: You couldn't even begin to imagine the pressure I'm under. You think you're under pressure? You? That is so laughable.
Angela: Brian, you're completely right. Okay? But could you just please explain geometry to me anyway?
Brian: Are you completely insane?
Angela: Yes, I probably am.
Brian: You think I care? You could not possibly conceive how much studying I have to do tonight. Have you ever even heard of calculus? Geometry is a paid vacation compared to calculus! Okay? I mean, do you have any idea what it's like to be in accelerated? Do you understand the pressure on someone when it's, like, assumed they will always get A's? Hey Brian, pull another A? That Brian, he always gets an A. You have the option of insanity! I do not! And that makes me crazy! I have to leave. I'm leaving.
Angela: [narration] There's something about Sunday night that really makes you want to kill yourself. Especially when you've just totally been made a fool of by the only person you'll ever love, and you have a geometry midterm on Monday that you still haven't studied for. You can't because Brian Krakow has your textbook and you're too embarrassed to even deal with it. And your little sister's completely finished with her homework, which is just so simple and mindless, a child could do it. And that creepy 60 Minutes watch that sounds like your whole life is ticking away.
Angela: Why did I let this happen? I've totally blown it. Why does he have this power over me?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Why are you doing this?
Richard Katimski: Pardon?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: This is not something I'm going to do. I'm just not the type of person who joins things. Okay?
Richard Katimski: I'm really sorry, but no. That's not okay. Come on, I'm a teacher. How do you expect me to react to a ridiculous statement like that. You don't join things? Who are you, Groucho Marx? You never belonged to a club that would have you as a member?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: What?
Richard Katimski: Look, what is holding you back? I'm not cool enough? Don't let the fact that your English teacher is a dork stop you from fulfilling your potential!
Richard Katimski: Just pretend that I'm a track coach. I happened to notice you can run fast. I need you on my team. It's as simple as that, Enrique.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Stop calling me that! Why are you calling me that?
Richard Katimski: I'm sorry, I keep forgetting. It's just... oh, gee whiz. It's such a great name. When I was in high school I hated my name. I hated it.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: I don't hate my name. I just
Richard Katimski: [interrupts] Oh good. Really glad. But nobody should hate who they are.
Angela: [narration] The truly frightening thing is that even after everything that happened, Jordan Catalano left a note in my locker to meet him in the boiler room. The nauseating part is that I went.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Rayanne! It's okay!
Rayanne: [yelling] No, it's not okay and you know it! Now everybody knows it! And you all thought I would screw up, didn't you?
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: Rayanne?
Rayanne: Well congratulations! You were right.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: [crying] Rayanne, wait!
Brian: Hey, don't worry. I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about.
Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez: No, there is.
Patty: Hi. Patty Chase. Angela's mom?
Amber Vallon: Yes! I know who you are. You know, you don't have to keep re-introducing yourself.
Graham: If only he'd come into our lives when the girls were still young and impressionable.
Patty: Rickie? He's incredible! You know that he re-organized the linen closet? He can't use a dish without washing it. He's like my mother only... mature.
Graham: We should adopt him.
Patty: If only it were that easy. God, he's such a great kid. I mean, what is going on? Why haven't we heard from his aunt and uncle? He's been here a week.
Graham: I don't know. I've tried asking him about it.
Patty: I know! He just changes the subject. I mean, don't they care? Do they even know where he is?
Graham: You think I should talk to him again?
Patty: We have to try and contact his family, or he has to. I mean, he can't just stay here forever.
Amber Vallon: [on the phone] What?
Patty: Amber! Hi, it's Patty Chase. Angela's mom. Did I wake you?
Amber Vallon: No, I always sound like this.
Amber Vallon: I was just having a dream about Angela. Her and her boyfriend and Rainie and me were, like, in this log cabin.
Patty: If you mean Jordan Catalano, he's not her boyfriend. They've decided just to be friends.
Amber Vallon: [laughs] Yeah right. Anyway, they were all in this feather bed and I was making pancakes for George Bush, of all people.
Amber Vallon: So Pat, what's up?
Patty: Nothing. I just wondered how things were going with Rayanne.
Amber Vallon: Well, she's on the wagon so she's completely no fun anymore. I'm just kidding. I'm very proud of her. Did Angela tell you she's going to be singing in Jordan's band?
Patty: Yes, so I hear. So, um, you're certain she's not drinking?
Amber Vallon: About as certain as you are that Angela and cutie pie are just friends.
Brian: It just really boils down to respect, you know? I have, like, zero respect for him. So, it's that simple. I mean, for me to tutor someone that I don't respect... wouldn't that be almost like using him?