Quotes

Casey Jones: Hey, guys! So, when do we get together and bust some skulls?

Leonardo: Hang on, Casey, you're not gonna be doing any head breaking this time, pal, sorry.

Casey Jones: What was that? You wanna run that by me again?

Raphael: We need someone to remain here to make sure the time bandit here doesn't get out of hand.

Casey Jones: Gotcha.

Casey Jones: What do you say we get together and bust some skulls?

Donatello: [April trims the leg part of her uniform] Whoa, leg-o-rama!

April: Hey, I'm allowed. It's my vacation.

Donatello, Leonardo: Absolutely! Shwing!

Leonardo: Michaelangelo why are you wearing boxer shorts?

Michaelangelo: So that the guy who arrives in my place doesn't arrive bare butt naked.

Michaelangelo: [to Walker] Hey, buddy, don't you know that Westerns are dead?

Walker: Speaking of dead.

[aims pistol at Michaelangelo]

Michaelangelo: Uh what I meant was they're not all dead. Like Clint. You look alot like Clint!

Michaelangelo: What if we make a major u-turn and wind up in Godzilla-Land?

April: [about Whit] He is lower than scum! He gives scum a bad name.

Walker: Of course he does, that's why I hired him.

Donatello: [gets up and looks around] Mudwrestling is defintely a spectator sport... Gross.

[picks up his helmet and pours out mud]

Donatello: Grosser. April? Yo!

April: Here! Help me up.

[splashes mud at Donatello]

Donatello: Whoa, alright I'm comin'. A little mud, no problem.

[picks up April out of the mud but slips and falls on his back]

Donatello: Wait, wait.

April: This is the worst rescue I've ever had.

Donatello: Help! I'm a turtle and I can't get up!

[April picks Donny up]

Donatello: Thanks.

April: We better get out of here.

Donatello: Think of it the bright side, April. We could've landed in a great, big, greasy pile of...

April: Don't even say it, Donny.

Michaelangelo: [after bursting from a building engulfed in flames] Kurt Russell, eat your heart out!

Walker: You're turtles?

Donatello: Yeah, of the Teenage Mutant Ninja variety.

Raphael: Here they are. The three stooges.

Donatello: Yeah, Larry, Curly, and Moe.

Walker: Who's your tailor?

Michaelangelo: We're naked.

April: This is absolutely the worst rescue I have ever had!

Raphael: I don't kiss on the first date, lady.

Leonardo: Raph! Give your mouth a rest!

Donatello: See guys, for every one of us that goes back, someone from the past will come here. But, the problem is, that switch will only work under one condition. You know what that is?

Leonardo: Tuesdays?

Donatello: If we don't come back in two-and-a-half days, we're turtle soup.

Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Raphael: Whoa!

Michaelangelo: Bummer.

Niles: Give us a kiss, dumplin', while you still got your lips.

[April makes a retching noise]

Niles: Oh, you're not the first one that do that to me.

Donatello: I think I swallowed a frog. I hope it wasn't an ancestor.

Splinter: Put down your sword, Kenshin. They are not enemies. Only lost warriors, like yourself.

Lord Norinaga: Secrets leak like a stink from a dead pig!

Walker: You certainly can turn a phrase.

April: Would somebody please tell me what the heck is going on around here?

Donatello: Well, relax, April. It's just your, uh, ordinary time travel equal-mass-displacement kind of thing.

Raphael: Ahh, nature. I *love* it. Makes me want to, I don't know, migrate or something.

Walker: Excuse me, Niles. Shouldn't you be trying to scare somebody?

Walker: My cannons can destroy these demons. You can rewrite history.

Lord Norinaga: No!

[stalks out of room]

Walker: I can rewrite *you.*

Whit: Take me with you.

April: Where? New York? Nahh, you wouldn't fit in. I mean, uh,

[takes in his grungy appearance]

April: well, actually you *would* fit in.

Raphael: Fightin's for grown-ups, and that's only if you got no other choice.

Lord Norinaga: How did you capture such a woman?

Walker: Same way you capture any wild animal. By setting a trap.

Michaelangelo: Miaow, dude.

Whit: I think she's telling the truth.

Walker: Really? Well, I don't pay you to think, do I? I pay you to lie, cheat, and steal.

Mitsu: We will both die, but only one of us with honor.

[she and Lord Norinaga both draw weapons]

Leonardo: Are we outta the loop here, or what?

Donatello: Yeah.

Lord Norinaga: Go ahead. Finish me.

Leo: Okay.

[forms his two swords like scissors and cuts off Norinaga's hair]

Leo: There. Short enough for you?

[Walker enters melodramatically]

Raphael: Well, if it ain't the Phantom of the Opera.

Walker: [to his prisoners] Really don't have time for any of these social pleasantries, I'm afraid.

[to his men]

Walker: Shoot them.

Leonardo: Hey, Tinkerbell. Why don't *you* shoot us?

Walker: Did you really think I'd make it that easy, you *nasty* little reptiles?

Donatello: Do you think I could *possibly* live without a single microchip?

Casey Jones: Bet you guys feel lucky to be going back, right?

Benkei: We're lucky. We're going back.

Guards in unison: Not!

[slap high fives]

Casey Jones: This is really gonna screw up history.

Casey Jones: [leaning on baseball bat, to Raphael] Hey Raph, how'd your brain implant go, good?

Leonardo: Hey! Where'd we get these clothes?

April: I'm going to find an apartment. I have an idea we're going to be here for a long time.

Leonardo: An apartment?

Michaelangelo: Do they have apartments in Japan?

Raphael: Do I look like a real estate agent?

Leonardo: What about condos?

Michaelangelo: [about a horse he is riding backwards] Don't these things ever run out of gas?

Donatello: Our dignity.