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Son in Law (1993) Poster

(1993)

Quotes

Walter Warner Sr.: Travis, it really tweaks my melon, to see a buff bro like Crawl here, get weezed on by a greasy scumbag like you. So you just chill.

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Crawl: Hey, you'll be happy to know that as soon as you left, I popped your daughter's trunk!

Walter: Oh, shit.

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Crawl: Have you ever heard of the tooth fairy?

Zack: No.

Crawl: I wouldn't fall asleep if I were you.

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Walter: Lets chow down and much on some grindage!

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Walter Warner Sr.: [about getting CPR again from Crawl] If I had to choose between dying and him kissing me, I'd rather die.

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Zack: Maybe now's a good time to talk about the rules in my room.

Crawl: Rules?

Zack: Rule number 1: Don't touch anything.

Crawl: And what's rule number 2?

Zack: There's only one rule. Don't touch anything!

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Rebecca Warner: No. Travis you just get out!

Travis: You can't talk to me like that.

Crawl: No, but I can.

[elbows Travis in the stomach, then punches him in the face, making him fall to the ground]

Crawl: Majored in karate for two semesters.

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Walter: Well, now that that's all settled, I think my future son-in-law should carve the turkey.

Rebecca Warner: Oh well you see, that's not necessary, because Crawl and I were never.

Crawl: Sure about the wedding date. So we'll just give it some time and see how things go.

Walter: Oh that's a hell of an idea. Hell of an idea!

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Crawl: Let's just get the rules straight here. There'll be absolutely no partying in this hall between the hours of 5 and 6 in the morning, without my express written permission. OK cool. Carry on.

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Crawl: My name's Crawl and I'm the RA. And you are? No wait, don't tell me. Sally? Jessie? Raphael?

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Crawl: Where are you from?

Becca: South Dakota

Crawl: Fresh off the farm, oh my God, I can't believe it. Right across the hallway. Hallelujah. So you're inbred?

Becca: What?

Crawl: You know, where your mom's your dad, and your dad's your brother.

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Connie: She's obviously made up her mind, so let's just handle this like mature adults.

Walter: Right, right... you distract him, and I'm gonna hit him in the head with a shovel.

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Crawl: You have got charisma!

Becca: What's that?

[referring to the tool in Crawl's hand]

Crawl: It's a special quality of leadership that captures the popular imagination and inspires allegiance and devotion.

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Crawl: Middle America ripping the fields, oooh.

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Crawl: Chickens You guys have chickens? I love chickens! Are they extra crispy or original recipe?

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Tattoo Artist: It's better than a kick in the face with a golf shoe.

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Crawl: [sees Walter Sr. widdling on the porch] Oh, my God, it's Bartles or James. Dude, which one are you?

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Becca: [crawl coming out of the dressing room at the store] What are you wearing?

Crawl: Cheek-chillers, you likes?

Becca: I hates.

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Becca: [about her first tattoo] I want something feminine.

Tattoo Artist: [beat] He's standing right next to me.

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Crawl: [to Becca during the Halloween party] Let me guess miss your mom dad, brother, dog, boyfriend. practically everything yo can think of back home am I right?

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Walter: Uh... Crotch...

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Zack: Speaking of freaks. Hey! How's it going?

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Walter: No, you wait a minute. I gotta tell you, Travis, it really tweaks my melon to see a buff bro like Crawl here get wheezed on by a greasy scum baaaag like you. So you just chill.

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Zack: Why do they call you Crawl?

Crawl: Because that's how I used to get home my freshmen year.

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Crawl: [to Travis] You're too late. Yeah, a couple weeks ago at school I already asked Bec to marry me.

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Tracy: [Kicking Travis to the ground] You are so low!

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Crawl: Going into European Studies, buddy.

Crawl: I mean, cruising around Europe, backpacking, right ?

Crawl: Munchin' on ch-ch-ch-cheese, a little vino.

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Crawl: Cutting some corn. Cutting some corn. Can I get some butter please?

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Crawl: Hey, hey Becca! Steven Tyler PJs. Steven Tyler PJs.

Becca: [chuckles] That's great Crawl.

Travis: Rebecca. Rebecca are you listening?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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