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5 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
The Greatest Bad TV Movie EVER Made!!!, 20 June 2004
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Author:
shark-43 from L.A. CA
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Wow - this film is so cheesy, so awful, so wrong, so not with it while
trying to be with it that it is HILARIOUS! Spoilers*********(Like it
would matter with this cheesefest):
I was lucky enough to tape this turkey when it first aired as an ABC TV
movie and since then I have shown it to friends in the entertainment
business and they HOWL with laughter. Everything about it is
unintentionally hilarious. First off, Sidney Sheldon has been writing
these trashy lusty novels about the rich and famous for decades and
this one was written in 1973 and then made in 1993 but the WHOLE FEEL,
the WHOLE TAKE on show biz might as well be 1953!!! Perry King(of all
people) plays a stand-up comic playing toilets and dives in Middle
America but dreams of making it big in L.A. Now they have him doing
jokes that Jack Carter and Buddy Hackett wouldn't even babble while
drunk - literally one-liners from a dirty Borscht Belt comic and yet
he's WORKING!!!! This is at a time when Seinfeld and Tim Allen were
doing stand-up so it is as if this character (named Toby Temple by the
way) is trapped in the fifties as Henny Youngman with pecs. Also Perry
King is pushing fifty years of age when he made this and everyone keeps
referring to him as "kid" or this "young punk". Hysterical!!!
Christopher Plummer chews up the scenery as a Mike Ovitz type - a
powerful agent who discovers Toby and makes him a BIG STAR (The clips
from his big hit show, The Toby Temple HOUR, looks so awful, so
Mandrell Ssisters Variety Hour outtakes, that your jaw drops!!!) Lori
Loughlin gives another dead-eyed-there's-no-one=home PERFORMANCE AS a
plucky country gal coming to make it in Hollywood. They have her doing
"rounds" at the studios as if she's Judy Garland in a 1940's movie -
almost ALL the aspects of how Hollywood works is dead wrong -- she
falls for a hustle on a movie set when a male actor offers her a part
in an "indie film" and of course they drug her coffee and perform sex
acts on her while filming a porno cuz you know in the 1990s they just
cant FIND ANYBODY to make pornos - oooohhh no! No girls are working in
the porno industry then, they have to lie and drug girls found on movie
sets - of course, yes. Sheesh. This of course hardens our sweet cornfed
girl into a jaded struggling dame who meets Toby when he's famous and
she wont put up with any of his BS, see??? So he must have her - he's
bedded everybody and wants her most of all. There is hokey dialog and
hammy supporting characters, talking ghosts, strokes, drownings,
beatings, porn - EVERYTHING a Hollywood trashfest should have. This
movie should be a cult classic. Watch Toby Temple if you DARE!!!!
5 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Your rationalization for Skinemax, 28 February 1999
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Author:
L. Lion (laughing_lion@yahoo.com) from Los Angeles
I have a girlfriend who likes Sidney Sheldon stuff and she forced me to sit
through it. She'd also forced me to sit through Poor Little Rich Girl,
which wasn't that bad, and since this had the same director and screenwriter
I thought I could make it through it. Boy, was I wrong. Lori Loughlin's
character gets raped in a porno film, and then never does anything about it.
Why? Doesn't this film want conflict? Instead it focuses on Loughlin's
conflict with her husband's agent, Christopher Plummer, who is so eager to
ooze spite that it actually does seem to come out of his ears. Loughlin's
hubby, years after her porno rape, is a rich comedian played by Perry King.
I don't know what Perry King was thinking, but his facial contortions in
attempting to convey his character's suffering from his stroke had to be
intentionally hilarious - perhaps a message to his agent who got him into
this thing and anyone dumb enough to be watching it. One of the characters,
Loughlin's rich former fiancee, is as clueless as any man ever portrayed on
screen in any film. Ever.
Any man who is ever told by a woman that T&A films are idiotic and demeaning
can source this as proof that there is something beneath them made
especially for women.
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