Return of the Roller Blade Seven (1993) User Reviews

Return of the Roller Blade Seven: Seven shades of nope

[Platypuschow · 1/10 · 4 September 2017]

The first Roller Blade Seven movie was awful, a travesty to cinema that failed on every front and I was in awe that it had not one but two sequels.

Being that I like to see things through I ventured forth into this second "Adventure" and was astounded to see that it was even worse.

All the original cast return and the film follows directly on from the events of the first. Thats where the good in this feature ends.

Once again the film is terribly filmed, awfully soundtracked, the fight scenes are laughable, a plot is barely present and the acting is school nativity play level.

I'm not one of "Those" guys who claims nobody could possibly like a film and those who give it a 10 are shills but on this occasion I'd put money on it.

Return of the Roller Blade Seven is an education in how NOT to make a movie.

The Good:

Nope!

The Bad:

First chunk of the movie is a recap of the previous film

Acting so bad it almost makes it feel like a comedy

More repeating scenes

Fight scenes are hilariously bad

Barely a plot

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

It's customary to have your samurai sword on you when taking a dip in the Jacuzzi.........along with all your clothes

There is this thing called the darkside, highly original stuff

Even the worst movies can have sequels when the moon aligns with every other planet at the same time as a 40 year old virgin wishes upon a shooting star

You've read the comments... Now avoid the movie...

[anatolehumfrey · 1/10 · 17 October 2001]

I love bad movies. I'm addicted to them. Give me a Troma film, or even a Fred Olen Ray flick and I'll curl up happily for the next 90 minutes.

This is not a bad film. I'm not even sure it is a film. A film would have a plot that I could describe to you in order to help you. There is no plot.

It has big name actors like Joe Estevez and Frank Stallone. Big names, not big talents. Estevez sits around mumbling, perhaps trying to emulate Marlon Brando from Apocolypse Now, but more resembling that guy who sits down the end of the crowded bar with nobody near him...

Not sure what the rest of the people do. It scared me to watch. There was some rollerblading, but it seemed to be set out in the desert, so I'm not sure how they went very far.

I have to stop. Memories of this (like the filmmakers) should be locked away for all time...

This is a Great Film!

[uscfilmgrad2000 · 10/10 · 21 February 2004]

I am always amused when anonymous reviewers attempt to criticizes actors and filmmakers here at IMDb.com. Most of the time I simply read the reviews and chuckle. But, in regard to this film, I feel like I really need to put in my two cents, because it seems that most of the reviewers are either missing the point of this film or simply want to attack the filmmakers, (for whatever reason).

First of all, I am grad film student at U.S.C. In one of my classes we went through the three films associated with the project, THE ROLLER BLADE SEVEN, RETURN OF THE ROLLER BLADE SEVEN, and LEGEND OF THE ROLLER BLADE SEVEN, frame by frame. So, I believe I know these films as well as anyone, expect maybe the filmmaker. And, 'Yes,' I have gone to both Scott Shaw's and Donald G. Jackson's websites and have read what they have had to say about these films. What I have to say is that they accomplished exactly what they set out to do; to make a completely nontraditional, art based, film.

Now, I am not saying this is the greatest film every. What I am saying, however, is that the filmmakers used every element at their disposable to, as they put it, 'Push the envelope,' of film-making.

If you look at what Donald G. Jackson and Scott Shaw accomplished in this film, with out any of the computer technology which became available after this film was made, they did one hell of a great job. The camera work is great, the editing is great, the story line, (or lack of one), is also great. What I think they really accomplished is to be the first to bring an MTV style of edit to a full length feature film. Or, three in this case.

Not only are these films visually inspirational, but they brought together a great cast. I mean look at the acting careers of Karen Black, Don Stroud, and William Smith. If actors of that caliber embraced this film, how is a person who has no background in either acting or film-making qualified to criticize it. I mean you may not like Indy Art Films, but a Scott Shaw says on his website, 'You may not like the art of Picasso but you can not say it is not art!'

There are a lot of reviewers who claim they could make a better film. As I always say to people who make this claim, 'Let's see it.'

I briefly met both Scott Shaw and Donald G. Jackson when they gave a lecture at the DGA, Director's Guild of America, a couple of years ago. They were both very nice men and have held true to their ideal of pushing the boundaries of traditional film-making. I believe they are both an inspiration and the nonsensical criticism of this film should cease. People should open their eyes and see this movie for what it is, an inspiration to Indy Filmmaker that you can make a nontraditional film and push the boundaries of the accepted and the expected.